Butt Pads: How Big Booty Equals Big Business

In light of last week's news that big butts might boost your health and the near-idolatry of Gisele Gisele, Beyoncé, and Jessica Biel's best assets, it's no surprise that big booties have become big business. Enter butt pad purveyors like LoveMyBubbles.com andMyBootyPop.com.

Here's a before and after from MyBootyPop.com:

Huffington Post blogger Leslie Goldman decided to give one a whirl. Here's her before and after:

8:20am I run into the bedroom where Dan is still sleeping and start yelling and screaming for him to "look at my new butt!" He is very tired but musters the energy to prop himself up on one elbow (note: the fact that his wife is running around like a banshee, hollering about her butt at 8am, does not even cause him to blink an eye. He is quite used to such antics by this point.) "How lucky do you feel to have a wife that pulls stunts like this?!" I ask/demand. He firmly swats me in the ass to show his appreciation and we are both struck by the resounding, hollow "Thwuhp!" that fills the room; usually, such a move would emit a hard "Thwack!"

Keep reading.

What do you think? Is this offensive or would you gladly wear one? Any other butt-enlarging techniques we've overlooked?

Comments

[Mark701]

Whatever.

[OnTheCusp]

Uh, Gisele has a cute butt, but it isn't "big," nor is it anything to "bounce" off of. Don't know why she's even mentioned in a "big booty" article. Whatever.

[Pete]

Fake booties, huh? So, when a guy lands a bootylicious woman, takes her to bed to bounce on that big rump, and it turns out to be fake, what then?

[RobertMurphy]

Cripes, butt pads?

Listen ladies, if you want a nice backside, my advice to you is this:

a) Hit the stairclimber a few times a week; a few squats and lunges don't hurt either.

b) Stop starving yourselves! No, a fat figure is not attractive, but neither is the 'I-just-got-out-of-Buchenwald' look.

c) Wear some comfortable, more relaxed fit jeans. Tight jeans do NOT look good on people! Stop wearing jeans which you need to shoehorn yourself into. They only squash your caboose into some flat, unnatural looking shape.

Robert

[Xochitl666]

Not all thin girl starve themselves. Genetics at work. Most ectomorphic women have tiny hips. When I was in grade school, I used to be teased for being skinny! (I'll bet that doesn't happen in elementary school anymore.)

Also when I was young I had a larger than average bust but no "read end" to speak of so I took up body building so I could gain weight productively. 20 years later the Squat in still my favorite exercise. Heavy squats will build a beautiful, cellulite-free butt.

[BigMike75]

Brothers been loving "Big Butts" for centuries, it's just now acceptable in mainstream society. I think those rail thin, skeletal, bone racks, they parade up and down catwalks from France to Italy are disgusting. White, Black, Brown, it doesn't matter, nothing is sexier than a full figured, curvy, thick(in the right places), bootylicious woman. You can keep the Paris Hiltons, and Nicole Richies of the world, I don't want to do anything but give them a damn sandwich.

[SevenLevels]

Amen!
But not just the brothers... I'm a honky who loves big women.
Peace,
Kelly

[Chrisallalone]

Yay, the one thing I've got going on is finally in style -- for a few months, anyway. But all the pants I find in the store are still cut for the girl in the "before" picture, so I know it's not gonna last.

[johnbkk]

I hear eating lots of fast food has the same effect.

[DaphnesDad]

Oh contraire!! A guy with a great butt is as alluring as his female counterpart, both visually and sexually. Just ask any gay man. And butts aren't involved in procreation in either sex.

[Boomerang]

Women have always enhanced their figures, top and bottom, in whatever way was available to them. Before Victoria's Secret and silicone there was Frederick's of Hollywood, with padded bras, of course, but also with something very similar to "butt pads."

Our grandmothers were taught "What Nature hath forgotten, we stuff with cotton."

Seventeenth- and eighteenth-century ladies wore stiff "bustles" under their long skirts, and had ribbons sewn into their bodices.

A 1903 limerick by Ethel Watts Mumford, from The Limerick Up to Date Book, reads:
There was a young lady from Skye
With a shape like a capital I
She said "It's too bad!
But then I can pad,"
Which shows you that figures can lie.

Whatever they think men want, women will provide. (PS: it wasn't too hard for them to figure it out.)

[xrepublican]

Oh please....... anorexic women padding out their busts and butts - getting surgical implants even to attain 'curves'....... archaeologists are gonna wonder what in the hell was wrong with this society when they dig up silicon implants in 10,000 years.

EAT SOMETHING and add a little body fat - breasts and butts come naturally. Women USED to have REAL breasts and butts..... now we have real live Barbie dolls that you do NOT find naturally ANYWHERE.... be real - how many size 1 32 DDD's have ever walked the planet without help from a plastic surgeon? You can't be that skinny and still have enough body fat to HAVE breasts like that.

Over the past 50 years we've been feeding women images of pre-pubescent 13 year olds in full make-up in fashion spreads as some kind of beauty ideal - an impossible one for even a 23 year old to match, anorexic size 0 models and all kinds of other body types rarely seen in nature (outside societies suffering from starvation).

Women need to wake up and realize that men are just NOT as obsessed as women are with THEIR bodies. YOU'RE being conned. Most men are put off by skeletal bodies. We're really pretty easy to please and actually PREFER someone who eats now and then. Everyone starving on a diet is always grouchy and too many women are getting all their exercise in the gym.

[sizzla]

So happy big bootys are back in style. Good news for us girls who got it. For a few years big ass was out and flat ass was in. Better flaunt it while you can ladies. Next year will big ass will be shameful and we'll be subjected to People's "Celebritys with out of control butts" issue.

[missjabez]

Let's hear it for big butts! I came by mine naturally.

[ALMjr]

Booty booty booty rockin' everywhere!

[Maanu]

We're getting back to what once was. Missionary is a relatively newer position. I prefer it actually. But look at primates, dogs, freakin elephants. cushion for the pushin.

[DaphnesDad]

What about men's butts? Nothing is worse than a guy with a flat or flabby ass.

[Boomerang]

But...in heterosexual mating, the male derriere has no biological advantage or disadvantage, whereas for the female, full buttocks are a sign of youth and fertility and flat or flabby is a sign of age and infertility.