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Colbert Explains Upside Of Gas Crisis: "What's Good For Big Oil Is Good For America"

Huffington Post   First Posted: 7/5/08 Updated: 5/25/11

Tank Half Full Colbert

On Thursday's "Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert introduced a new feature called "Stephen Colbert's The Tank Is Half Full," which points out the upside of the gas crisis. "Everybody can benefit from this alleged crisis," Colbert said, "from the mighty little oil CEO to the lowly oil CFO. I say, what's good for big oil is good for America."

Some of the upsides: schools are switching for four-day weeks to save gas on school buses, police departments are charging speeders extra for the gas involved in a high-speed chase, and men can no longer afford to drive three towns over to discreetly visit strip clubs.

Watch:

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On Thursday's "Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert introduced a new feature called "Stephen Colbert's The Tank Is Half Full," which points out the upside of the gas crisis. "Everybody can benefit from t...
On Thursday's "Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert introduced a new feature called "Stephen Colbert's The Tank Is Half Full," which points out the upside of the gas crisis. "Everybody can benefit from t...
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GoCards1978
10:29 AM on 06/30/2008
The best part of the First Amendment freedoms - political satire.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
nonconformist2
07:55 PM on 06/29/2008
Finally! A little dose of Truthiness­. Just what the doctor ordered!
03:55 PM on 06/29/2008
Colbert is astute in the benefits of high oil prices especially in the area of social control, educationa­l stunting, and the cockblock of horny men everywhere­.

The only thing we would disagree with is that gas companies are losing because they have to buy very expensive oil to refine. The real oil companies that just sell the raw stuff, they're making off like bandits.

www.sagefi­eldpost.co­m
Unique/Tim­ely/Releva­nt Financial Opinion on Commoditie­s/Stocks/E­conomy
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
waynesmyer
05:53 AM on 06/30/2008
Message to Stephen Colbert: Shame on you! you stole that line from me, which I had stolen from "Lil Abner" "What's good for General Bullmoose(­Halliburto­n), Is Good For Amerika"
POGO FOR PRESIDENT!­!!
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
12:50 PM on 06/29/2008
Fix the Enron Loophole and a barrel of oil goes down at least 25% overnight. Congress knows this and Olberman did a report on it. Why is everyone acting as though this does not exist?
10:11 PM on 06/29/2008
Both Repubs and Dems are making off of the Enron loophole. Do you really think they will close it? NO.
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02:24 AM on 06/30/2008
If barack was real, he would be talking about it.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
02:29 AM on 06/30/2008
If the democratic nominee or the republican nominee were real, they would be talking about this.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
KarlaElisa
The atmosphere is Toxic
11:58 PM on 06/28/2008
priceless. so glad the writers are back.
03:50 PM on 06/28/2008
Damn people, hes a comedian.. Lighten up...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
chronic
07:29 PM on 06/28/2008
You're kidding...­..
02:12 PM on 06/28/2008
Stocks for oil, oh yes, that is the up side for shareholde­rs... I haven't read about any bragging in this area, must be embarrasin­g...Gettin­g rich on your own homelands destructio­n...Amazin­g how quiet the oil Terroist are...Pret­ty bad when oil scares replace the 3 trillion Iraq war, as the topic of every conversati­on...The Banks better pull back the strangulat­ion hold on the dollar...T­hey're trying to get a one world currency..­.
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ErnestineBass
No longer a cog in The Machine.
01:10 PM on 06/28/2008
A four day school week?

Boy, that decision's gonna come back to bite us...
03:10 AM on 06/29/2008
We should have a four or three day work week......­.........a­nd half days at that.
01:40 AM on 06/30/2008
If you lived in Europe you would have at least 3 weeks paid vacation and a 36 hour work week and health care you can count on.
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12:34 AM on 06/28/2008
Whats good for Big Oil could be good for America only if their excesses finally provoke a political reaction which restores the Anti Trust Act and Taft-Hartl­ey and break the Corporatio­ns grip on our throat.
12:17 PM on 06/28/2008
You got that right.

Free Market theory, the love child of Republican­s, gets murdered by monopolies­.

If you believe in Free Markets you must know the necessity of Trust Busting!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rshrink
07:01 PM on 06/27/2008
Volkswagen has a clean diesel car called the Polo which gets over 70 miles per gallon. Currently, they don't have a plan to get it to the USA, a car already in action in Europe. Why can't we get this car over here and more like it? BMW Mini Cooper has a diesel in Europe. It also gets over 70 mpg. Excuses will be given, such as the need for research, pollution issues, etc. If interest groups will get out of the way, whatever is needed could be addressed expeditiou­sly. If Volkswagen gets cars like that over here, then we will see some useful competitio­n. It is special interests that are getting in the way of competitio­n. Americans need to start doing the demand part of supply/dem­and. If we don't get this thing going, it won't get going anytime soon.
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07:25 PM on 06/27/2008
I think it takes a special grade of diesel not available here as yet.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
vippy
Carpe Diem!
11:45 AM on 06/28/2008
Thank you for noticing it too. The reason we cannot get it here because it has to have American Specificat­ions, which means, use more gas. Same with the VW GTI Diesel that gets 66 mpgs in Europe but here the same car gets 41 mpgs. Did you not listen to Bush when he said he upped
the mpgs by 1.8, and then had the gall to call us "energy dependent?­" Then our DEM congress
passed a new energy bill and they were proud of it, especially Ted Kennedy, in which it states we
should have 35 mpgs vehicles by 2020. Now if that does not take all. Yet when I bring this up in
discussion­s no one is aware of it. What is wrong with PEOPLE?
11:48 AM on 06/30/2008
.
Repub-LIE-­CONS have controled the White house and/or congress for 26 of the last 28 years without ever increasing CAFE standards.

WHY???
.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Knowledgeseeker
04:45 PM on 06/27/2008
very funny
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WIpatriot
I've seen enough to make me Progressive
04:23 PM on 06/27/2008
Keep it up, Colbert!
04:19 PM on 06/27/2008
"Electric bills to Taser victims", I hope Chertoff doesn't hear that one...
02:53 PM on 06/27/2008
Another upside: The guys riding around in worthless Escalades, Hummers, and Tundra trucks now look like losers.
11:49 AM on 06/28/2008
They were always losers. Now just everyone knows.
12:41 PM on 06/27/2008
I can walk to my strip club.