Michelle Obama Talks About "Guilt" Women Hold

First Read:

A day after the revelation of Jesse Jackson's crude criticism of Barack Obama's speeches on fatherhood and faith-based initiatives, this morning Michelle Obama was talking about fatherhood, responsibility and accountability.

...

Obama used the roundtable audience, as she did yesterday, to describe her husband's understanding of women's issues through the prism of the strong -- but sometimes struggling -- women in his life.

His own mother, she said at the beginning of her remarks, was "very young and very single when she had him." And, Obama added, he has observed his wife's attempts to reconcile motherhood with her career aspirations.

"He sees me, his wife, who struggles every day with that guilt that we all hold deep in our hearts as women," she said. "That guilt that you don't have the choice to stay home, and even if you do, you feel guilty."

"He has seen me struggle with this my entire life," she added. "Trust me, Barack understands the struggles of women."

Read the whole story: First Read

Comments

[neesy08]

lots of women do. they always seem to be the ones who have career in which they earn $$$$. i have gotten sick and tired of them saying how guilty they are. imo, if they are that guilt ridden, quit the job. get rid of the nanny, and stay home.

[NTO08]

A lot of women would be driven up the wall staying at home...and why not?

[pupbayer]

I agree. I was a single mother and had to work BUT I would have worked anyway. Staying home with my child was not my thing...it would have driven me crazy and, in my mind, staying home is much harder than working outside of the home. That was my decision. It just never occurred to me to whine about it. I've been grateful for all of the blessings in my life. I concentrate on the positives, not the negatives.

[cnick]

You are completely ignorant of women's ambivalent feelings about their children vs their careers, your oversimplification is absurd.

[olivia]

You obviously are not a woman who has ever faced that choice.

[Bertha40869]

Apparently you don't have any first hand knowledge. After looking for a job for 4 years, I had to leave my 6 year old for a year for a fellowship and send money home to my mother to take care of her. I cried for a week straight. It is a painful choice to make. Most people's lives don't pan out they way they would like them to, but that is no reason for people like you to throw stones. I also now care for my mother and grandmother who live with me, which is not how I envisioned my life, but I don't think I should be bashed for trying to work and have a better life, and neither should any of the other hard working women in this country.

[TroubleNYC]

Only an elitist who's never had to struggle a day in their lives would use the word "nanny".

[punkingale]

Well, how many people have a "mud room" in their houses?

[Sarahjan]

In the age when conservatives ideologues are determined to turn us, working women back to the private sphere, take away our rights to our bodies, and a week after Sent. Obama said that feeling mental distress is not a real ground for a woman to have late term abortion, Michelle Obama’s reference to the ‘guilt’ working women carry in their hearts is alarming. Michelle Obama needs a quick course on the history of women’s struggle for equality including the right to be included in the public sphere. I am a working mother and I do not hold guilt in my heart for being a working mother.

If Obama sees the best way to help working women is to release them from their ‘guilt’ feeling, the only option this suggests is turning women back to the private sphere so they can fulfill their natural vocation of motherhood! Add to this Obama’s big lecture on fatherhood and we see an image of patriarchal right wing family value discourse. This is clearly is not what Michelle Obama wanted to suggest but this is familiar story that all will be well with the nation if the women stay home and fathers went to work. Why is are men not carrying guilt in their hearts when they are at work and away from their families? There is a good link some may find useful.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jul/09/celebrity.women

[uheardme]

Michelle Obama, a Black-American WOMAN, does not need a lecture on "equality" from the likes of YOU. She does not claim to speak for YOU, but a lot of women have expressed some frustration with balancing professional and parental obligations. Spew your paleo-feminist drivel elsewhere.

[thehardertheycome]

You need to brush up on your reading skills.

Really.

[globalcitizenlinda]

Did you really read what Michelle said

[PoliJunkie]

I really don't believe you read what Michelle Obama said. You come here often to spout misinformation.

[jg08091]

Grain of truth you need to stick to academia. these are normal people at this blog. if you wanna do a scientific dissertation call a university and ask for tenure, otherwise leave us regulars alone thats trying to sort out the truth.

[tellit]

Carol,

That is not the worse of it. I have been waiting on someone to comment abut about how easy it is to just discount mental illness in this country. We see exactly what is brewing behind closed doors. If this country vote these people in office, we will be in serious trouble. They have no regard for the real American people.

[loper2008]

um, why is this a story? The fact that women who are mothers often feel guilty about working is not exactly breaking news.

[freshnotbitter]

No matter what they say I like Michelle Obama. I think it is because she has character. When she gets the hang of it, goes with the flow and has fun with it, she'll make a great politician.

[mybelovedcountry]

i am a dad of two and have child care issues..th­anks Mrs O....

[realtalk]

OBAMA UNDERSTANDS 100% THAT WOMEN SHOULD BE, AND MUST BE PAID THE SAME AS MEN.

JOHN McCAIN VOTED AGAINST THIS BILL! JOHN McCAIN DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD BE PAID THE SAME AS A MAN.

JOHN McCAIN IS OUTRAGEOUS! ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT WOMEN NOT BEING PAID THE SAME AS A MAN IS A FORM OF DISCRIMINATION. IT IS WOMEN, SINGLE MOTHERS WHO ARE THE ONLY ONES USUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN, PROVIDE THEM WITH A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD, AND FOOD, AND CHILDCARE, HOW ARE WOMEN SUPPOSED TO DO THIS WHEN THEY ARE BEING PAID LESS THAN WHAT A MAN MAKES.

IT IS TERRIBLE, AND OUTRAGEOUS THAT JOHN McCAIN JUST DOES NOT GET JUST HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE TO STRUGGLE TO WORK, GET PAID LESS, BUT ARE STILL EXPECTED TO TAKE ON 100% OF RESPONSIBILTY FOR THE FINANCIAL CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN.

[pupbayer]

No, John McCain did NOT vote against the bill. He didn't vote. He and Obama both have a poor voting record during the campaign because of being away from Washington so much.

Lying about facts that are easy to check doesn't get you anywhere.

[Sneaky]

So, ah, question for the ladies out there who feel Obama better represents them: How? What exactly is he in a position to do that will better represent you?

I always thought we were supposed to vote a guy into a job whose sole purpose was the execution of the laws of the union. I'm weird, I know.

[Vige]

How about not allowing ROE v. WADE to be overturned.

[TrueIndy08]

some of us women don't care about this... I am not for abortion..­. I don't like it!

So, new point, because for all women, thats not a sticking point!

[BlueZoo]

Bravo! There are many of us, much older than child-bearing age, who are extremely concerned re Roe v. Wade being overturned. We work tirelessly to see that this right remains a matter of choice for American women.

[pupbayer]

If Roe v. Wade was going to be overturned it could have been at any time. Reagan didn't try it, neither Bush tried it. There's been 5 conservative justices on the Court for years. They could have done it any time they wanted to.

This is just an issue to try to blackmail women with.

[Sneaky]

Oh? How would he manage to do this?

[sandtats]

To name a few:

Protecting women's reproductive rights
Universal healthcare
Reforming NCLB; college tuition tax credit of 4,000 per student per year
Universal early childhood education; after school and summer programs for disadvanted kids/at risk kids
Expanding the FMLA (Family medical leave act)
Pay parity (Ledbedder v Goodyear)
Yearly increase in the minimum wage to keep pace with inflation
Expanding the child and dependent care tax credit
Expanding paid sick leave
"Making Work Pay" 1,000 per family tax relief/credit
Protection against caregiver discrimination

[uheardme]

Well done.

[Sneaky]

That's amusing. None of those things he can do. Not. One. He can SUGGEST them to Congress, but that's it. He can't even do these things with unconstitutional use of executive orders.

Oh, and don't get so caught up on the "protecting women's reproductive rights" argument. Word's starting to come out that maybe, just maybe, he's not quite as down with that as folks make him out to be.

[carlgt1]

McLame understands how to dump a woman and "upgrade"

[tubette]

It will be interesting to see how the right spins this......

[GrainOSand]

Two things:

When I noticed the story, looked at the picture and read the caption, I was struck by what I will describe as a feeling, a woman might call it her intuition, or some might call it a premonition. I am not going to share what occurred to me for I hope I am wrong. The only reason I brought it up, is to speak directly to those who comment in this forum who disparage people due to expressions of spirituality. Such people always ask for proof. I always comment when asked that the proof is of a personal nature, or is experienced based. I then usually get something along the lines of there is no scientific rationale or basis for the paradigm of thought that you put forth. That is usually where I stop responding for as the saying goes, those who know do not say, and those who say do not know. I know some things are beyond words. Ones’ belief in God is the greatest of the things that defy capture through utterance. The feeling I had about this story is something I equate with the spiritual and not the bodily. People who self-gratify do not want the body to go, for what would they hold on to then? The spiritual minded are aware that the sin is rooted in the flesh.

[GrainOSand]

Second thing, who gives a damn that Michelle Obama is telling the truth about a subject that was not an issue until Barack Obama started to run? This is not news. Where was this mass concern about fatherless homes, broken families, and the poor, poor predicament of certain left-behind aspects of the African America community prior to Mr. Obama entering the race? The air is thick with hypocrisy. Cake and eat it too, has become the order of the day. Indict for not taking responsibility yet abdicate any responsibility. Any indictment of government is a call for a handout from a person with a victim mentality, yet government has its hands out, and provides welfare to corporate cronies all the time. Government victimizes whole nations of people all over the world and calls it democracy and justice. I would play that game if I were evil minded. It works well on the gullible. America does not seem in short supply of those who engage actively and proudly in delusion.

The Darwinian approach of dog-eat-dog is only good until dogs that continually get eaten, grow tired and start biting back and taking whole chunks out of the @ss of liars and cheats who contort and distort the fragile truth; fragile because consensus is hard amongst humans so anything that confuses the truth only makes living harder. See Palestinian Israeli conflict.

One needs but a little more time and ejection from this seat of madness is bound to occur.

[shel3364]

Women didn't struggle until O started running?

Take your manifesto elsewhere, this was a quick article on Mrs. O addressing women's issues.

[FanofPaine]

I understood the first two sentences and then...wha­t?

[GrainOSand]

Obviously.­..then nothing for you.

[suzukimom]

Thank you for keeping your "premonition" to yourself. Our own thoughts and feelings often spring from that which is worst within US, not from the best.

[GrainOSand]

Agreed!

[loax]

Women must come together and vote Obama. He does undrstand our issues a million times over McBush. Michelle wil be a marvelous First Lady. They have style and class.

[pupbayer]

He's all over the place so much with all issues, I don't know that he understands much of anything. Style and class don't mean a thing. I personally am more impressed by someone who believes in the Constitution than someone who is a Kennedy wannabe.

[NTO08]

I agree with you on this. People assume flash matters more than substance.­..sorry, America doesn't need someone who is all show right now...so far, that's all he's been...the man caved on FISA, and the amendment he wanted to go through to revise it was voted down...so his clout means s--t in Senate. He knew this would be voted down...

[olivia]

I respect this woman more every day.

Real understanding of real problems of women and families, I hope will bring about real solutions.

[joeyp404]

Do you have a girl crush on her? Can we only address issues when a candidate is running?

[olivia]

I think that Michelle, unlike our previous two First Ladies, will not just warm a chair and smile pretty in this role - she will DO SOMETHING TO HELP.

[levibatgirl]

I *heart* Michelle Obama. We haven't had an interesting and classy first lady since I don't remember when.

[joeyp404]

You're obviously not old enough to remember Hillary.

[FanofPaine]

Hey, that's a long time ago for some of us. Remember some of us are just coming of voting age.

[joeyp404]

Since Hillary?