CNN Reports On 'El Chupacabra' Sighting

Who said that August is a slow news month? Hard on the heels of our national obsession with the Montauk Monster comes more cryptozoology, this time from Dewitt County, Texas, where the local constabulary believes they have caught the legendary El Chupacabra on video, probably saying "Whitey." CNN has the video and has been covering the matter scrupulously this morning.

El Chupacabra, which translates to "goat sucker" (and is thus Mickey Kaus' zoological opposite), is best known as an urban legend -- as CNN's Ed Lavandera once termed it, the "Bigfoot of Latino Culture." At one point, "El Chupacabra" was thought to be some sort of extra-terrestrial being. In fact, the X Files took up the matter in a Season Four episode titled "El Mundo Gira," but they did so half-heartedly and ineptly (in the episode, the story shifts from full-on El Chupacabra speculations to a mawkish plot about immigration and a pair of Latinos who slowly turn into giant sprigs of asparagus).

However, ever since the state of Texas got a hold of the myth, they've recast the goat-sucker as some sort of "demon dog," which has allowed them to look past the obvious explanation for the creature seen in the video, namely, that it's a coyote with a scorching case of sarcoptic mange.

Still, this sighting raises questions. Like: Why won't Barack Obama end his vacation to provide America with a plan to defeat the Chupacabras? And: wouldn't a coyote with sarcoptic mange be an infinitely better vice presidential choice than Mitt Romney? These are the queries that I hope you will fill Jack Cafferty's inbox with today.

Comments

[Fugaziaol]

It's ManBearPig!!!!

[prestodan]

Sarcoptic Mange = an excellent band name.

and their album could be called "A Scorching Case of..."

Good stuff. If this thing is a just a effed up coyote, this could explain another monster i think this one is similar to - The Jersey Devil.
Are there effed up coyotes in Jersey?

[SickStan]

Sarcoptic mange is describing an inflammatory infestation of mites, usually Sarcoptes scabiei. In humans it's called "Norwegian scabies" and often results in horrendously disfiguring crusting of the skin.

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Norwegian+scabies&gbv=2

[Donnat]

Will be even more interesting when someone finally films one from the FRONT. Of course, then, they'll have to admit it's a dog...

[filo]

It's a live Montauk monster ! LMAO

[buckbuck11]

I always thought Ann Coulter was the Chupacabras. (Which in Spanish, roughly translates to mean "sucker of goats.")

[MajorKong]

Chupacabras make good pets.

[wedapeepo]

His name isn't chuppacabra that's my dog rex...come back rex, here boy!

[getoffmedz]

Things must be getting a bit boring out there in Dewitt County, Texas?

That's a dog.

And CNN - y'all need to get out more.

[Mr Grey]

If it barks like a dog.......?

[Mr Grey]

Oh by the way, shouldn't this be in the style section?

[al40]

I am a Linkins fan. Best political news I've read in weeks.

[scooperss]

Looks like a maverick's behind to me.

[thromulese]

I guess there are no missing white blond women.

[shengirl]

Seriously, folk, consider that there are three breeds of hairless dogs that I know of in the world-- from China, Mexico and the old Inca Empire. Maybe this is a hairless breed of coyote, and either got the hairless genes somewhere along the way from the Mexican Hairless, or gave its genes to the breed that would become the Mexican Hairless. I guess the experts could work on this, if they bothered to stop laughing and take it seriously.

[cdub1991]

Laughings more fun.

Since you seem to know your stuff, are there breeds or species of canines that exhibit that notable difference in the length of the front and back legs?

[stepintothelight]

Ever seen an African plains Jackel???

[Freesia2]

"Still, this sighting raises questions. Like: Why won't Barack Obama end his vacation to provide America with a plan to defeat the Chupacabras? And: wouldn't a coyote with sarcoptic mange be an infinitely better vice presidential choice than Mitt Romney? These are the queries that I hope you will fill Jack Cafferty's inbox with today."

lolol

[nicholasclaxton]

Seriously? Is this what CNN is becoming? It just gets worse and worse everyday!

And who cares - leave the animal alone - its' not bothering you don't bother it...

Maybe its just a dog whos mom did too much crack when she was preggo!