Dane Cook Slams Own Movie's Poster

Dane Cook is NOT HAPPY with the new poster for his upcoming film My Best Friend's Girl, seen in full below. He posted the following rant about the design and bad photoshopping on his MySpace page. The film is out in September.

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, "My Best Friends Girl," is the best / funniest film I've done yet. It's got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It's a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I'm not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I'd like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using "You Suck at Photoshop" templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.

3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

4. Lips:
It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

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6. Flesh:
It's no secret that I'm more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I've got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin' bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond's dolls would look at me and say "shit ... that guys got flawless skin!"

7. Hair:
It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.

8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn't the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.

PS - "Its funny what love can make you do." I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait ... it looks better.

Hey ... I love my new movie. Jeez ... it IS funny what love can make you do.

Comments

[JimR]

Let's see... I have an extra ten dollars. What should I do with it?

I can go see the new Dane Cook movie... or, I can just flush the ten dollars down the toilet.

Think I'll go with that second one. It promises to be more entertaining.

[sa]

mickey rourke called,
he wants his "the pope of greenwich village"
smile back.

.

[yngcelt]

Other films with bad posters:
The Wedding Planner - Looks like Matt is mounting Jennifer from behind while dressed as Christian Bale in American Psycho

Jersey Girl - Really bad cut and paste sloppy mess of the cast with some completely out of scale

Shall We Dance - Another mish mosh of the stars of the film cut and pasted together in strange poses

Failure To Launch - the poster looks like Silence of the Lambs remade into a romantic comedy. Matty just needs the handtruck under him and the face mask

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - Why the leaning in the same position in the same direction Matt? I swear they reused his photo from this poster for the one for Failure to Launch

Nine Months - Apparently Julianne Moore is whispering into the ear of a mannequin that resembles Hugh Grant as evidenced by the psychotic grin plastered on his face.

Two Weeks Notice - Again with the two stars standing back to back with her arms crossed and his hands in his pocket. Wait, didn't Matt McConaghey and Kate Hudson do this pose years later for How to Lose a Guy?

[faust2001]

I don't see what the problem is. The poster looks as artificial and contrived as anything else Generation X Hollywood has foisted on the public lo these last 10 years.

[my2scents]

Just looked at some of the anti-DC comments must give my own take --LOVE DANE COOK!!!
--Being in the over 50 set, I owe my teenager thanks for bringing DC to my attention. What makes Dane so good is his original take on everyday situations. THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHTER DANE:)

[BeyondGoodAndEvil]

He still looks better in the poster than Biggs whose eyebrows look like carefully waxed and tweezed caterpillars.

[williams411]

I absolutely can't stand dane cook and think that he's a total hack, but...the poster does look awful.

[JimR]

Agree with everything you said.

[auramac]

I'm not a fan, but he's absolutely right. Really pathetic job- would be embarrassing coming from a high school art student.

[strength]

i think the poster sucks too, and it is just like him to be truthfull about it, the dude is hilarious, in my opnion that is, some people just are too uptight to see the humor in his act and acting.

[ENK727]

Some of his routines are hysterical.

[jdj81]

Dane Cook seems really fun to hang with at a party, but as a comedian he just plain sucks. And no, I'm not uptight for stating the obvious (or having good taste). "Vaginas are weird, dudes!" is not clever or funny, but that's the spirit of his act right there. There are too many classic and/or awesome comedians with DVDs out for you to be wasting your time on him.

That said, he's absolutely right about that poster.

[JimR]

Just because some people aren't fans doesn't mean they're uptight. People just have different tastes, that's all.

I'm sure there are comedians you don't like. Does that make you uptight?

[duckcrackers]

He should replace the second "o" in his name with a "c" and his name would be more like his persona.

[chharriett]

That was a wonderful example of making lemonade from lemons! Bet it was very cathartic writing that post.

[tasukibeth1]

He's not whining about the poster as much as he is just whining about how HE looks in the poster. Everything about this movie screams suck, starting with Dane Cook.

[zenwhenicanbe2]

Dane Cook is NOT FUNNY!

[duckcrackers]

Jason Biggs=Zero charisma
Dane Cook- Zero talent
Kate Hudson-Zero personality

How did this movie get greenlit?

[yngcelt]

Probably the same way films like "Soul Plane", "Failure to Launch", "Are We Done Yet", etc. get greenlit.

[ENK727]

Teenagers and twentysomethings like these actors. The movie will probably do fairly well among this demographic.

[Opt1musPr1me]

Dane Cook is one of the most talentless and unfunny individuals. I don't know why he continues to get work. Then again talentless seems to be the in thing in Hollywood these days. Jonas Brothers anyone?

[yngcelt]

How about Bill Maher? Janeane Garofolo? Rosie O'Donnell?

[AgentMacGyver]

You missed the "these days" part. Funny you chose only outspoken liberals. Bruce Willis?

[JimR]

Love Bill Maher's show and Janeane Garofolo is pretty talented.

Rosie was a decent actress, but I'll give ya that one.