POLITICS
10/10/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

ABC Interviews Palin's "Closest Friends," But Most Won't Say They're Voting For Her

Good Morning America convened a klatsch with four of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's "closest friends" for 15 years in the hopes that one of them might spill the beans on the press-shy vice-presidential contender and reveal that she is secretly having an affair with a book-banning polar bear or something. What they reveal, however, is that not all of them are likely to vote for their friend.

As it turns out, Palin's pals are a perfectly lovely quartet of women who hang out and exercise and eat chocolate, but the video is burning up the blogosphere because some of them are avowedly pro-choice -- in opposition to Palin -- and three of the four won't even say they're supporting her ticket.

[WATCH.]

This is supposed to reveal that the people who know Palin best won't vote for her, and so you'd have to be crazy to do so, but, honestly? I wouldn't vote for most of my friends, either, because they tend to be criminals or drunks or worse: bloggers. I'd expect my dear friends to oppose my own presidential ambitions on similar grounds.

More curious, frankly, is the revelation that Sarah Palin hates cats. This is not abnormal on its face, since it's perfectly reasonable to loathe anything that requires the permanent installation of a box full of feces in one's household. However, Palin may have a political reason for opposing cats. According to a letter sent to the Palm Beach Post, it seems that the residents of Talkeetna, Alaska - who the Wikipedia tells me is the inspiration for the fictional burg of Cicely, as depicted in the teevee show Northern Exposure - chose a cat named Stubbs as their official mayor. Stubbs has executive experience, hunts prey with his bare paws, and does not bilk the taxpayers of Alaska out of money for fake per diem expenses, like Palin does.

Stubbs the cat hangs out at Nagley's General Store in Talkeetna, with a bunch of other cats, all of whom have been thoroughly vetted, by actual veterinarians.