Biden Prepares To Debate Palin

Planning is underway for Joe Biden to gear up for his vice-presidential debate with Sarah Palin, according to reports. I'm not at all sure how one "prepares" to "debate" somebody who only repeats the same speech in front of the public, and never answers a question from the press -- maybe Biden will practice coaxing a bespectacled tape-recorder out of a lockbox or something -- but there you have it.

Curiously, Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm has been tapped to play Sarah Palin in the debate prep scenario. This choice offers a lot of key insight into the Obama campaign's thinking. Let's see. Granholm: governor, executive experience, runs a state that rivals Wasilla, Alaska in the production of methamphetamine. But more importantly, Granholm gives Biden a chance to prepare on a more psychological level:

"She's going to try to make it as personal as she can. She's going to take a lot of straight lefts and jabs at me, she's going to try to get me to respond, she's going to try to get me to respond in a personal way," Biden said at a fundraiser Tuesday night in Chicago. "That's not my style. I'm not going to do it."

Uhm...I sort of see this more as "Let's get Joe used to being in a room with a female," seemingly a grudging acknowledgment of the idea that how Biden will interact with Palin is a going concern. That pile of verbiage about "making it personal" with "lefts and jabs?" Let's just say we used to have an colloquial expression that covered this, one that we're not allowed to use anymore.

Over at Wonkette, they have a 2006 news article that further compounds the difficulty of debating Sarah Palin: maybe she won't even show up!

Dave Dobberpuhl of the Alaska Professional Design Council said he and others have been trying for weeks to get Democrat Tony Knowles, Republican Sarah Palin and independent candidate Andrew Halcro together for a forum in Fairbanks, but so far their schedules have always conflicted.

"When one was available, the other wasn't," Dobberpuhl said.

Now the forum is scheduled for Monday, without Palin, who has events to attend in Cordova, according to her spokesman, Curtis Smith.

"If she could be in two places, she would," he said.

Palin's running mate, Sean Parnell, had offered to attend, but Knowles and Halcro refused, saying they believe the debate should be among candidates.

Knowles isn't running against Parnell, said his spokeswoman Patty Ginsburg.

"It's not that Sarah has to show, it's that she cannot have a stand-in," Ginsburg said.

Wonkette goes on to remark that Biden's training may be all "in vain," because "when the debate happens, as soon as he utters the first word of his opening statement -- probably 'I' -- Tucker Bounds will immediate send out an oppo email "saying, 'JOE BIDEN IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF AND THAT'S BECAUSE HE HATES VAGINAS.'" That's why, in addition to Granholm, Biden should get Rahm Emanuel to play Tucker Bounds and provide yelly McCain counterattacks during the practice.

Actually, given his proclivity for effortlessly delivered snidery-with-a-smile, Biden would be better off having Emanuel play Palin, and the McCain counteroffensive can be simulated by turning a half-dozen incontinent chimpanzees loose in the room.

Comments

[Tunghoy]

04:36 PM on 09/23/2008

"...the McCain counteroffensive can be simulated by turning a half-dozen incontinent chimpanzees loose in the room."

LMAO!

Reminds me of what we used to call a "seagull manager" -- he flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over the place, then flies out again.

[Politico73]

03:41 PM on 09/23/2008

I wonder who Biden will plagiarize for his debate this time. Lincoln or Douglas??

[mezz1962a]

06:38 AM on 09/20/2008

whooo whooo cant wait till his next Joe Biden Insert foot into mouth comment in front of a national audience

Maybe he will ask a cripple person to Stand Up or maybe he will tell a person who cant see "What are you Blind or something...can't you see what Palin is doing?"

[ully]

01:10 AM on 09/17/2008

maybe Obama has to replace you with Hillary ??? because Obama need such a strong person to help himself,otherwise Palin will win !! and by a lot attack by media...Palin already win !!

[ully]

01:07 AM on 09/17/2008

some preparing you make for Obama?? and you will loose Joe !!!

[ElizabethMN]

10:53 AM on 09/15/2008

I love that line when he says "I" they'll accuse him of hating Vaginas. LOL!

For those commenters it IS important to practice debating a wicked sharp tongued, snarky, no-meat-to-her-words woman! Otherwise he'll come across as the stupid one while her non-answers verbally give him a tongue lashing. Democrats do not want that. Or he'll come across as condescending and it won't matter if he wins the debate.

[mergina]

02:17 PM on 09/14/2008

He has to PREPARE to debate that nutcase? Why? Does he have to learn how to avoid obscenities?

[Jacob77030]

05:36 AM on 09/13/2008

This will be a classic debate much like the one with the old dude and that kid that wanted to grow up to be JFK. Biden is who he is. He doesn't try to force a smile. He shoots from the hip like some kind of maverick :p. Palin was a real unpleasant person with Charlie Gibson. I expect her to lose her composure at the debate. She may start yelling and the louder she gets the more annoying and aggravating her voice gets.

[Tunghoy]

04:38 PM on 09/23/2008

Caribou Barbie is like fingernails on a chalkboard. And she's no Jack Kennedy.

[Greg27]

06:45 PM on 09/12/2008

who's Joe Biden?

:)

[mergina]

02:18 PM on 09/14/2008

Really? Where the hell has he been? Is it too late to change a running mate?

[grata2ude]

12:57 AM on 09/17/2008

you can't be serious. he just isn't getting any press. He's been out stumping on the campaign trail in Pa Ohio Virginia. The press is just infatuated with Paininthearse

[Tommygun264]

05:52 PM on 09/12/2008

The most difficult obstacle Biden will face will not laughing out loud while his opponent is talking.

[Tunghoy]

04:41 PM on 09/23/2008

JUST LEAKED!! EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF CARIBOU BARBIE'S DEBATE PREP:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

[Tambulei]

04:02 PM on 09/12/2008

Biden better hurry up and prepare. The debates are only what, a month away? He needs to take the VPAT test.

[redsongia]

12:10 AM on 09/17/2008

LOL! The VPAT test. Those are so sexist! :)

[Nia1999]

02:26 PM on 09/12/2008

I live in Michigan and Gov. Jennifer Granholm is the perfect sparring partner for Joe Biden. My son actually thought (and still does) she would have been a perfect running mate for Barack Obama. She's tough and seems innocent and nicey nicey when you first meet her, but after about a year, her true colors started showing and it shocked a lot of us. She also knows how to play the victim and how to play the "girlie" game when it suits her purpose. She came in through the "McNamara machine". Ed McNamara, former Wayne County Executive and powerful influencial polical click here in Michigan and in Detroit. She's originally from Canada (cold state) and is Catholic (pro-choice) and is very smart. So I think Joe Biden made the right choice.

[klimtone]

01:10 PM on 09/12/2008

Joe
Just remember to finish your sentences before you leap to another topic and that you're dealing with people who think its cool to shoot wolves from helicopters.

I'm glad that my Governor Granholm is helping!

[wayoutleft]

12:37 PM on 09/12/2008

palin is preparing to debate joe biden as the fake joe biden

[Tambulei]

04:04 PM on 09/12/2008

Joe Biden is preparing to debate Joe Biden. He needs 6 weeks of hard study.

[trishl127]

11:22 AM on 09/12/2008

I think he should hire Tina Fey to do the prep with him. C a you think of someone else more biting, or someone else who would be prepared to deliver a snide, sarcastic personal attack? Or anyone tougher or smarter?