Colin Farrell On Rehab: I Was Dying (VIDEO)

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Colin Farrell told a BBC talk show how he "was dying" before he checked into rehab nearly three years ago and was "fairly drunk and high for 16 years." Farrell went to rehab for alcohol and substance abuse in December 2005 for five weeks.

On Jonathan Ross's talk show Farrell said of his emergence post-rehab:

"I came back into the world and everything was in a degree of focus that I hadn't experienced... Desperation will allow you to do incredible things in the name of survival.

"So much of the work that I did I was struggling so hard to keep my shit together. A lot of my energy was going into trying not to have a complete meltdown. By the end of Miami Vice I was just done.

"I had created an environment for myself, a way of living for myself which, on the outside, seemed incredibly gregarious and vivacious.

"I don't believe I have any chemical predisposition towards depression, but let's just say I was suffering from a spiritual malady for years and I indulged it.

"To be in pain, if it's self-perpetuated, can be very sweet at times. You can feel very alive when you're in pain, and I also know that from another perspective, like when somebody who I love in my life has passed away.

"There is something incredibly internally vivacious about feeling pain or mourning, even if it's something as egocentric or self-indulgent as mourning for yourself, or pitying yourself."

Farrell also talked about the release of a sex tape filmed with former girlfriend Nicole Narain in July 2005. The film went online - against his wishes - at dirtycolin.com after falling into the wrong hands. "An expensive 14 minutes, that one... It seemed like a good idea at the time.

"The man in charge said I hope you've learned your lesson Mr Farrell and I said 'absolutely, next time I'll take the tape with me'."

He added, "I think I was high."

Here is Colin talking sex tape: And here, about 3:30 minutes in, he talks about his substance abuse: