Mark Penn Given Column By Wall Street Journal, For Some Reason

"Microtrend"-enthusiast and Devourer Of Hilary Clinton's Hopes Mark Penn had a column in the Wall Street Journal yesterday, for some reason, about how the economic downturn has bred a new cohort of "people who have lost their trust in the financial world, and are preparing for the next meltdown." Penn calls these people "the New Mattress Stuffers."

Anyway, Penn believes the recession will bring about a boom in the area of "personal financial security" in the same way September 11 brought about "a vast industry in building security." "As a result," Penn says, "firms which can offer ironclad guarantees of safety will appeal to this new group." But ha ha! What is an "ironclad guarantee of financial safety," anyway? Anyone got a favorite post-9/11 security firm they want to cite that fills your heart with confidence? Will the financial security agents of the future make sure all our nickels take their shoes off before they're allowed in our mattresses? Who knows?

Penn cites many ways that the New Mattress Stuffers can "calm themselves" during these bleak financial times. Buy gold coins, for instance! Purchases of guns, safes, and home vaults are in the increase, so get in on some of that action, Laid-Off Middle Class America! Oh, and listen to your jeweler, Joe Sixpack, because Penn reckons they "may start to tell you to 'don't forget to stash away a diamond or two.'" Personally, the solutions all look like the sorts of things that are only within the reach of those for whom the times won't be so bleak, but Penn broadly compares the New Mattress Stuffers to people who, in times past, hid "tin cans of cash in [their] walls."

Penn asserts that New Mattress Stuffers "don't care about the 10% interest rate on GE preferred stock that Warren Buffett snapped up; they care about making it through if hard times get even worse." That's too bad! You know, in time's past the Wall Street Journal might have run a column to help people understand why Warren Buffet loads up on preferred stock in General Electric, and, more importantly, Goldman Sachs. It might be the sort of news a Mattress Stuffer could use, to ensure they're asking their elected representatives the right questions before their Mattress Stuffing is offset by any fanciful government bailout programs.

Anyway, I guess a few enterprising Americans can bail themselves out during Inauguration weekend by going to Mark Penn's home and excavating his front lawn to find where he's stashed all of his gold doubloons and blood diamonds.

Comments

[colleen2]

I can think of three prominent members of Mrs Clinton's appallingly bad presidential campaign who now work for Rupert Murdoch just off the top of my head. It would be interesting to research thie question of how many of Bill and Hillary's former staffers have selected Murdoch as their employer

[texastrixie]

Mark Penn influenced Hillary and Bill Clinton to trash Obama. This would have been a cleaner primary without Penn. Hopefully the Democrats have learned that even if you want to be President, you don't go around saying the other contenders are not ready to take on the job, etc. The watchword for 2016 has to be, "Mr./Ms X would be fine as President, but here's why I would be better . . . "

[sueno]

Penn was wrong about a lot of things-
Just because he wrote a book doesn't mean that he knows what he's talking about-
His book was proven wrong, Clinton lost due to him, and now
we're supposed to bank money on his word? NOT!

[FalconerHK]

Yet another reason why newspapers are falling on their faces and can't figure out why. Apparently the WSJ is like a retirement community for failed strategists and pundits. Wrong then, wrong now and still given a place to proclaim their public wrongness.

If Milton Friedman was still alive he'd probably be the editor-in-chief.

[08politicaljunkie]

I wonder what they see in him. I mean, I don't see him increasing circulation/sales -- he's not that interesting.

[XME]

Seems like a fitting place for him!

[Pyfagorus]

"Hey, ya know that guy at the Times, Kristol, who's always WRONG about EVERYTHING? Do ya think we find a guy like that to work for US?"

[Tropiholic]

No wonder all of you are going out of business, all you do is hire failed washed up losers

[SCHenrich]

This is a good example of why standard media is dying. What's the value of having a hired gun/lobbyist write columns and give him a platform from which to influence public opinion? The obvious question: What's his agenda, who's paying him? Lobby all you want Mark, but nobody will believe that you have a pure agenda in anything you write. More analysis on this here:

http://thedailyoracle.com/index.php/media-watch-mark-penn-and-the-wall-street-journal

[SCHenrich]

This is a good example of why standard media is dying. What's the value of having a hired gun/lobbyist write columns and give him a platform from which to influence public opinion? The obvious question: What's his agenda, who's paying him? Lobby all you want Mark, but nobody will believe that you have a pure agenda in anything you write. More analysis on this here:

[jeffp26]

I cancelled my subscription to the WSJ when murdoch bought it. Now I'm twice as happy.

[SCG]

It's all in the family, business-lobbyists-media-government.

[ignorantwillyharper]

Mark doesn't seem like a likeable guy, but there's got to be something good about him, after all he sunk old Hillary's A$$!

[blueskybigstar]

If you understand Penn, then you understand everything wrong in American politics. He is such an insider, up there with Matalin and Carville for collusion between the parties and a member of the upper e c h e l o n of the corporatocracy which has everything to do with money and not party. Don't be fooled by their good cop bad cop routine.

[pir anha]

jason, that headline is priceless. :)

incompetents like mark penn never seem to fall butter-side down, do they.