Dead Magazines Song Remembers The Folded (VIDEO)

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Huffington Post   |  Danny Shea   |   December 16, 2008 05:45 PM

I Like ItI Don’t Like It

Author/entertainer Bill Dyszel has written and performed a tribute to folded magazines called "Morbid Major Magazine Song," which chronicles the many magazines that have fallen by the wayside in recent years. As AdAge's Ann Marie Kerwin notes, the lyrics were written in October, which means Dyszel missed major foldings like Radar, Playgirl, O At Home, and others...but you'll still see and hear many familiar titles in the video below:


Lyrics:
(To the tune of I Am a Very Model of A Modern Major General by Gilbert & Sullivan)
By Bill Dyszel

The many paper publications writers once were writing for
Have mostly disappeared and left a handful all are fighting for
They went by names like Mirabella, Cosmo Girl, and Living Well
Amazing Stories, Omni, and Organic Style and Mademoiselle
And Spirit of Aloha, which you may perchance have read in flight
And also Windows Sources, HomePC, Musician, Cue and Byte
And 7 Days and Audio, and Quick and Simple and Cachet
And, PC Magazine, but no understood that anyway.
When Budget Living says they're broke, you know conditions aren't so nice.
And don't forget Success, whose claim to fame is that they failed twice.
McCalls, Industry Standard, House & Garden all have gone away
And Rosie sank as fast and deep as Underwater USA.

When Country Journal, Harper's, Jewish Woman, Coronet and Mode
Have followed New Age Journal as they all were flushed down some commode
When Blueprints future plans have all been relegated to the past
And National Lampoon will surely not be who is laughing last.
When Women's Sports and Fitness, Golf for Women, Gusto, Sync and Spy
Are only sold along with Lifetime at that newsstand in the sky
All writers start to fear that their careers are headed for the drain
A lot like Talk and Child and Life and Look and Lear's and George and Jane.
The experts all are telling us that in our brave new century
There'll be new opportunities exciting and adventur-y
But to a freelance writer none of this may seem too funny,
Cause you know the next to go will close up shop and owe you money.

(Created for the 60 Anniversary of the American Society of Journalists and Authors)

Author/entertainer Bill Dyszel has written and performed a tribute to folded magazines called "Morbid Major Magazine Song," which chronicles the many magazines that have fallen by the wayside in recen...
Author/entertainer Bill Dyszel has written and performed a tribute to folded magazines called "Morbid Major Magazine Song," which chronicles the many magazines that have fallen by the wayside in recen...
 
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A sequel to this one for Ikea shoppers is now at www.youtube.com/cinemasolo.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:24 AM on 12/28/2008

The Blagojevich Polka is now online. www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMhLnIjprBU

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:12 PM on 01/04/2009

Or what about Brill's CONTENT magazine. I loved it. :(

We needed a voice analyzing the terrible media coverage this last 8 years of the Bush Adminstration!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:39 PM on 12/17/2008

I cancelled all of my news magazines years ago and subscribed to just "The Week". It's the best weekly mag out there, and it's not available on most (any?) newsstands. It's a print version of an internet news aggregator, quoting hundreds of different periodicals from around the world, plus it includes book, music, theater, art and movie reviews, global commentary, and more in a nice, slim package.

Get "The Week" - you won't regret it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:50 PM on 12/17/2008

So there actually was a Mode, not just the fake one on Ugly Betty eh?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:36 AM on 12/17/2008

Thanks so much for running this! I'm flattered!

And thanks to everyone who found mistakes. I just put them in to see if anyone noticed (yeah, sure).

And yes, sadly, there's enough source material to make this song several verses longer, with more to come.

Thanks to G&S for an excellent tune.

I'll be posting the "Freelance Writers' National Anthem" on Monday.
-bd

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:35 AM on 12/17/2008

Harper's is still alive and still fighting for truth n' justice.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:49 AM on 12/17/2008
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Brilliantly.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:56 AM on 12/17/2008

PC Magazine is still publishing: www.pcmag.com. The December 1, 2008 "Best Tech" issue is on newsstands now.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:40 PM on 12/16/2008
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Alas, the print version of PC Mag is short-lived. As of Feb '09, it will be a digital-only publication.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/business/media/20mag.html?em

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:33 AM on 12/17/2008

I really like People but I had to cancel my subscription. I can no longer "throw away" $200.00 for a subscription. They sent me threatening letters too. WTH? I had a membership over 20+ yrs.

Why the hell are they so expensive anyway? Us isn't any where near that expensive nor is O magazine either. They must be shelling out too many millions for baby pictures. However, this subscriber can't afford to subsidize any more celeb baby photos.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:07 PM on 12/16/2008

They forgot InQuest

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:57 PM on 12/16/2008

I still miss Country Journal. I have a few issues carefully preserved - wish I could get 'em all. Articles and editorials by Richard Ketchum, Richard W. Brown's evocative photography... commonsense articles on small-scale farming, gardening, nature and ecology without the smarmy, saccharine, just-too-precious and syrupy religiosity of rags like "Country". Thank the gods that The Mother Earth News came back from near death a few years ago.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:40 PM on 12/16/2008

McCalls, the promoter of togetherness in the 1950's & home of turgid pius pornography, deserved death long ago. How did it survive the sexual revolution & feminism? Let it rot with the remains of Cosmo & Playgirl. We must hail the www it it killed McCalls. Let's hope that no one tries to revive it as Time-Warner does with Life. A bad idea never improves in the grave.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:01 PM on 12/16/2008
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NIce. I remember half those mags. too.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:37 PM on 12/16/2008
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Aaah!! PC Magazine....feeling faint...

I'll survive as long as they don't get rid of Wired Magazine.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:58 PM on 12/16/2008

Don't call that writing a song. Composers write songs. He's written parody lyrics for to someone else's song.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:35 PM on 12/16/2008
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Meow.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:04 PM on 12/16/2008
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robcat2075

A lot more clever than what you could muttered up to be 'in print' .. besides, it said "wrote and performed a tribute" ... not a 'song'

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:35 PM on 12/16/2008
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