Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life: Study

Romantic comedies seem harmless...but could they actually be ruining your life?

Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love.

They found fans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner.

Keep reading.

Comments

[kalidescopemind]

I think others romance is personal. Its voyueristic. And attractive American women's expectations are generally off the charts in terms of reality. But, I think that if someone really cares about you, they can anticipate your desires, as you should also do in return. There's the problem, people don't really give a twinkie. I have treated several women this way, and one might as well hold one's breath if one expects reciprocity. It is best to live with the knowledge that you truly loved those you cared for, even if they knew not how to respond.

[TamysDMilo]

My hubby doesn't have to talk to me because I receive his feelings through the fillings in my teeth. At times, though, it becomes so overwhelming that I put on my tin hat.

[ManyColored]

I wonder about the reality view of the so called "relationship experts". There ARE such things as harmless entertainments. And in terms of expertise, the only way one can become knowledgeable about relationships is to go through enough crashes and burns with them and have the intellectual honesty to understand what you did wrong and then transfer the corrected behavior as examples to those who need help with relationships. Of course, they have to have developed enough humility and empathy themselves to be able to listen as well as you have learned (through undergoing much pain) to listen. So that doesn't sound too promising, does it?

[indy100]

Some of us don't watch romantic comedies precisely because they have absolutely nothing to do with reality.

[deepfreezevideo]

Why do rom coms ruin one's love life or have the potential to do so?
Simple, they place unrealistic expectations on one or both partners, and if those
partners have little or no foundation to their relationship to begin with then their
shallow attachment looks pale beside the heroics portrayed in the movies.

Of course maybe it doesn't matter that the relationship was shallow to begin with.
Let's just find something else to place the blame on instead, makes it easier to deal with
the failure to live deeply.

[Auburn022]

There is so much hate and violence in the world today. It's ashame that people are getting worked up over romantic comedies. If your stupid enough to get brainwashed by romantic films or any other type of movie then perhaps you shouldn't watch movies at all. If you are having communication problems in your relationship chances are romantic comedies aren't to blame.

[mpgarr]

I was thinking too after reading some of the posts----it does seem that far too many of the actors and actresses who play in these roles believe the fantasy----so many of them are "serial marryers"---and God how I hate it that each time they "fall in love"--the newbie is just the best guy or gal in the history of the universe---that their love is so profound and"real" (LOL) Of course--that is until this one goes south and they have a big Hollywood break up ----they make a bunch of money for the celeb mags, the papparazzi, the gossip tabs and the divorce lawyers!! We even have to read about their breakups on web sites like HuffPo!!!!!

[mpgarr]

I agree---these movies, TV shows and songs of this nature to my mind paint such an unrealistic portrayal of the ways that things really work---they are so romanticized--but I guess that reality would be boring for a flick, telly show or song---but all the BS that we are meant to have only one true love--that you aren't complete without finding "THE ONE" has lead to many unhappy lives---there was a great relationship book I read many years ago---like many of those self-help books--it had its sayings and sort--but the one operational one that I have followed from it: "Love is not finding the right person---love is BEING THE RIGHT PERSON!!"

You cannot expect another person to somehow magically make you whole---you have to find that for yourself--in YOURSELF!!!

[LiberalProfessor]

EXACTLY!

To quote Zizek on the matter:

"Cinema is the ultimate pervert art, because it does not give you what you desire, it teaches you HOW to desire."

[bioluminescence]

Movies contribute to dysfunctional relationships? We live in a consumer driven, disposable society where happiness is not what you have it's what you will have when you get the latest cell phone, running shoe, lipstick, golf club, laptop, etc. If things are disposable, why not people?

[ForObamaInDallas]

I am a 40 year old woman and I cannot stand these movies. I loathe them. While I do go to the movies for entertainment, more often than not see many women expecting men to act like the male stars of these movies and woo them with 100% romance all the time. It's pathetic. Those are usually the ones that break up over the first little relationship "hang nail" and then wonder why they can't find a man.

[F33bs]

Two words:

Annie Hall

[SharonWantsToTalk]

These movies are the adult version of the fantasy perpetuated by Disney with its Prince Charming coming to the rescue and the happily ever afters of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. What a horrible set up Disney gives girls at such a vulnerable age. Then Hollywood continues it into adolescence with this unrealistic dribble. Girls grow up thinking there must be something wrong with them because their boyfriends don't behave like the ones on the screen.

[kbella]

I totally agree! The worst one is Beauty and the Beast...which gives the message that women can actually CHANGE men from the proverbial "beast" into "prince charming". It is so unrealistic!

[enna]

As a woman who LOATHES romantic comedies I'm thrilled to see that I'm not alone. The concept behind Pretty Woman was the most heinous and unspeakably stoopid.....I like films like Dolores Clayborne where the child-molesting, wife-beating husband finally gets murdered by his wife. Succulent!

[skuffer]

then you should definitely check out Death Proof. You will love the ending i promise

[missyfoosy]

TOTALLY AGREE with Skuffer.. great movie to disenchant those rom coms fanatics

[mckinley]

"Pretty Woman" is nothing more than an infomercial galmorizing prost itution.

SNL did a "trailer" of a Pretty Woman spoof, when it first came out -- the thing was, their movie was realistic!

A self-important millionaire who didn't realize his wallet gave him any attractiveness he had...

And a w.h.ore who was skinny, unkempt hair, way too much rouge, teeth missing, laughing at the wrong moments, swiping cash, shooting up...

Hilarious but 'true'.

[KOisGod]

Please show the level of romance evident in a 20 year marriage. That would be real life, not the delusional puppy love, falling all over themselves in order to show how MUCH they love each other after knowing each other for 3 weeks.

Lets see them deal with a teenager who'd rather be with their druggy friends, not go to college, rather live on the street then get help. Show me the lovey dovey romance happening between them then.