Patrick Swayze: "I'm Going Through Hell"

Patrick Swayze, who has been battling pancreatic cancer for a year, sat down with Barbara Walters for an exclusive interview that airs Wednesday night at 10 pm on ABC. Swayze has defied the tabloids that had him at death's door when his diagnosis became public.

Swayze stars in a new show "The Beast," which he filmed while fighting his cancer, which had already spread to his liver before he was even diagnosed.

"You can bet that I'm going through hell," Swayze says to Walters. "And I've only seen the beginning of it."

"There's a lot of fear here," he adds. "There's a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, I'm angry. Yeah, I'm [asking] why me. Yeah, I'm all this stuff."

As for how he figured out something was wrong, it was exactly one year ago while celebrating New Year's:

"I tried to have champagne, and it would be like pouring acid, you know, on an open wound."
Soon he found "my indigestion issues got gigantic and constant. And then I started thinking, I'm getting skinny. I dropped about 20 pounds in the blink of an eye. And then when you see it in the mirror, when all of a sudden, you pull your eyes down and the bottom of your eyes go yellow and jaundice sets in -- then you know something's wrong."

He started filming "The Beast" despite the cancer, and in 5 months of filming missed only a day and a half of work, and he never took medicine for his physical pain.

"When you're shooting, you can't do drugs," Swayze tells Walters. "I can't do Hydrocodone or Vicodin or these kinds of things that take the edge off of it, 'cause it takes the edge off of your brain."

Tune in Wednesday at 10 pm for more of the interview. "The Beast" premieres on A&E on January 15.

Here's the trailer:

Comments

[blastit]

I just love Patrick Swayze and hope and pray for him and wish him and his family well.

[maxfax]

God bless him and his family.

[PamelaH1227]

As a woman who has walked the journey Lisa is walking, I give you my prayers of strength.
A spouses strong love & sensce of Faith a couple shares has an amazing effect on his & her well
being.
No One who has not been in her shoes knows the strength she can give Patrick & her own heart.

May God Bless both of you & may you both share many many more great moments months & years
together.

I know you have millions of peoples prayers. Some times in the silence God whispers wonderful
words of comfort & wisdom to ease the journey.

sending Love & prayers...

[coopersmom]

He did this to HIMSELF. He smokes what, 2-3 packs a day? I love Patrick Swayze as an actor, but, come on, WHY ME? You ingested huge amounts of toxins voluntarily. He's the Yule Brenner of this generation. He should be doing anti-smoking commercials.

[TIMLHOWE]

why dont you go fug yourself you souless dwebe?

[TIMLHOWE]

oops - thought you were a guy - i change my request for you to question just what is wrong with your souless lack of empathy...

[Chaimirija]

wow

karma's just wating to bite you in the a.s.s.

you'll see

[Babele]

Personally, I think we should ban cigarettes. If it is true that Swayze chose cigarettes over his own life and the love of his life, then cigarettes are far too addictive for human consumption. Make them illegal.

[Verified]

coopersmom, Would you be so accusatory if it was your child who got cancer? Or even yourself? Not everyone who gets cancer does so due to toxin-consumption. You are guilty of believing a popular myth. Sometimes it's just a faulty gene that has nothing to do with cigarettes or alcohol or even bad manners, such as you exhibit. I hope you are able to let go of whatever demons you are carrying around - you may end up in the same boat one day with no one to help you bear your burden.

[TIMLHOWE]

In 1992. while I was staying at the lodge at the Grand Canyon during a campaign trip to organize native american leaders for Clinton I met Patrick Swayze. He and I spent a night together at the old lodge's bar drinking and smoking and swapping long and tall tales.

Eventually his lovely wife came to drag him away because they were running the river in the morn. (He said it was his first real vacation in years)

Like real cowboys, that night we two Texans got mighty seriously liquored up.

He was a wonderful guy to spend an evening with.

I wish him the very best of luck.

As the Navajo say - I wish him to walk with beauty.

[lisa12345]

What a great post

[TIMLHOWE]

A fun part was at the end of the night he told me "Tim,. youre a really cool guy"

When I told my girlfriend she swooned...

but in reality, he simply was a very fun and friendly guy and we had good fun together. I do remember talking about how stupid some people are about fame and how odd that is to live with. (he was obviously very nervous at first when he came in and worried that his presence was gonna cause a ruccus)

It was also very obvious that he and his wife are a very loving couple. I know she let him stay with me so he could have some "boys fun". He obviously has very true love in his life. For that, he is a very lucky man, cancer or no...

[TIMLHOWE]

the best part of the evening was that when his wife came to get him - she looked at us both with a very lovely wry smile. She was quite amused by our...condition.

You see, Patrick had come over to smoke at the Lodge's very rustic lodge bar. (I do remember him telling me that his wife didnt like him smoking and wouldnt let him smoke at the table) At first he was very nervous because he was worried someone was going to start a ruckus. You see, I didnt recognize him, but then someone came over for an autograph and after that we both started to talk about what a very odd custom that was. (I had gone to college in NYC where you learned never to do that) Then we started talking about the things bar people would talk about in an ancient and historic bar overlooking the Grand Canyon. Life, love, adventure....riding burros, the Colorado river....

to be cont below.

[TIMLHOWE]

I expected him to stay for just one smoke, but he stayed at the bar with me for 2-3 hours while his wife stayed in the dining room at a table with friends During the evening, I saw his wife check him out - once or twice - to make sure he was OK -but it was obvious to me that she had let him stay there with me because she thought he deserved some boy play time. Later, when his wife joined us, she seemed fond of me because it was obvious her husband was. (I was young smiley guy back then) As they were leaving, Patrick grabbed my hand and told me that I was a - quote - "very cool guy".

When I later told my girlfriend this - she swooned.

I tell this tale because I want you to understand that it was very obvious that he is very loved by someone. His wife obviously enjoys him, his happiness and his sense of fun.

He has someone that really loves and cares for him.

Cancer or no, Patrick is a very lucky guy

Very, very lucky.

[TIMLHOWE]

oops sorry lisa - i thought this disappeared so i wrote it again...now its here twice!

btw 2 people very close to me licked the big C with Chemo. Im bet on and not against him doing the same.

[starrianna]

I love Patrick Swayze.

He was fierce as a she in "To Wong Foo."

[blackhole2008]

He is as tough as some of the characters he's played.

[Marmann]

I have chronic pancreatitis (8 hospitalizations in less than 3 years) from adult-diagnosed cystic fibrosis, and I can't begin to imagine NOT being able to take any painkillers, as the pain is excruciating. (And I'm just talking about pancreatitis -- not CANCER.) As it is, I am on a Duragesic patch 24/7 (75 mcg) AND hydrocodone ES up to three times a day for breakthrough pain. It has helped tremendously and has kept my hospitalizations to a minimum this year.

My prayers are with you, Patrick. You're an incredibly strong person. Just keep fighting!

[TIMLHOWE]

may you walk with beauty

[StopGlobalWarmingBeVegan]

Patrick, you need to eat more raw fruits and veggies. It'll help a lot.

[lis60]

Pancreatic cancer is terrible. I have been through it with a family member. I wish him the very best.

[gr8abz]

Brave guy. God bless him.

[Monrocsol]

Ditto!

But God did not bless him. This God thing is a fantasy!

[Maezeppa]

It's a way of expressing best wishes and sympathy. I'm an atheist and I say "God bless" from time to time to convey exactly that.

[schatsie]

I just hope he is getting plenty of sleep and rest...He is such a vibrant person.

[LeeVing]

I really liked his work in Donnie Darko.

[brooksidebeast]

Donny Darko rocks!!! One of the best movies EVER!

[TXFF5000]

May God Bless Patrick Swayze.

He will be in my prayers. Its such a shame that a good down to earth guy like him has to go through this suffering.

:( :( :(

But I think there is a fighting chance he can pull through this.

If I was Patrick Swayze I would try everything conventional as well as non conventional (tons of Coral Calcium) and maybe even check out that doctor in Texas who the FDA has criticized but who many people who got cured by him would swear by. I forgot his name, but I think its "Kurzynski" or "Burzinsky" or something like that.

[Maezeppa]

There is no fighting chance with this -- maybe someday but not today.

[psbintl]

I would not say that at all. He does have a fighting chance. He has outlived most who are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Most die within three to six months from diagnosis. My father died of pancreatic cancer just four months after being diagnosed, and unlike Patrick Swayze, it had not even spread to his liver. So Mr. Swayze has really done very well.

I give him so much credit for going through very difficult treatment and trying as hard as he can to fight this disease, it is not easy.

[TIMLHOWE]

oh jeeze - just shut up!

[SmolderingRuin]

Pancreatic CA really sucks.

[xxnounxx]

get well patrick,,this is one actor i adore,wonderfull man and so down to earth i met him and his lovely wife in the opening of planet hollywood in dubai 1997.