Joseph Robinette "Joe" Biden, Jr. (born November 20, 1942) is the Vice President of the United States, a former senator from the state of Delaware, an obvious recipient of both hair plugs and dentures, and a dick.
Born and raised in Scranton, Pennsylvania, a town otherwise famous for its repeated mocking, Biden relocated to the similarly ridiculed state of Delaware. There, he became the fifth-youngest senator in U.S. history, though even back then he was still succumbing to male pattern baldness and gum rot. He has served on and chaired the Senate Judiciary Committee and the Foreign Relations Committee, working on resolutions concerning the Yugoslav and Iraq wars, both of which, nonetheless, remain unresolved.
Biden failed to gain the Democratic Party's nomination in 1988, when it came out that he was a serial plagiarizer, and then again in 2008, a race in which he never stood a chance. Silver lining: he did manage to beat Dennis Kucinich, and it would have been really embarrassing to have finished behind Dennis Kucinich.
On August 23, 2008, the Barack Obama campaign announced that Biden would be Obama's running mate for the 2008 Presidential election. He spent the following 24 hours in a Rogaine-induced haze.
Don't be surprised if it turns out that Hillary Clinton let the air out of his tires and/or keyed his car in the parking lot outside Invesco Field.