CHICAGO - The members of Korn are about to get a big apology from one of their own -- and you can read it along with them.
Bassist Fieldy has released a book, "Got the Life: My Journey of Addiction, Faith, Recovery and Korn," this week. The book includes letters Fieldy (born Reginald Arvizu) wrote to each band member apologizing for his past bad behavior.
Fieldy said he gave an advance copy to guitarist James "Munky" Shaffer but he has yet to hear his reaction. He said he expects frontman Jonathan Davis to read it as well. He didn't give them the letters privately because he wanted to be open about his sobriety.
Fieldy, 39, struggled with alcohol, drugs and overeating. He would even eat food off other people's used room-service trays -- even trash cans. He also was a womanizer and liked to intimidate anyone, male or female, who disagreed with what he calls "Fieldy's rules."
He quit cold turkey when his father, a born-again Christian, told him his dying wish was for his son to find God. Now he's married with three children and working on a new album with Korn and his side project, Stillwell.
AP: You were kind of a jerk when you were on drugs.
Fieldy: I was as bad as it gets. What I wrote in the book, I was probably worse than that. I couldn't really explain how bad it was. Me trying to kill people wasn't as bad as me tearing people down and making people cry and ripping them apart, because words never heal. That's what I've learned. I'd rather raise my son and tell him, "If you get in a fight with your friend, just punch him. Don't say anything, because the next day he doesn't get over that.'"
AP: How old were you when you became an alcoholic?
Fieldy: About 13 or 14. I was full-blown. Every day we would hide the alcohol, stealing from stores or stealing it from our parents and hiding out in dirt fields and drinking it before school and after school.
AP: What could someone have said to you then to make you stop?
Fieldy: If somebody told me, "Not a good idea," I would've said, "No, it's probably a good idea if you get drunk with me." I would've flipped it around on them. There was no way you could tell me anything. I wasn't listening to any type of reason.
AP: You mention in your book you got your pills from "rock doctors." How did that work?
Fieldy: In the rock 'n roll slang world, they're called rock doctors, or rock docs. They would come out to shows and like to hang backstage. You could get a prescription for anything you want from them. They just want to hang out and party. It's crazy because you can get a prescription to anything. It doesn't even matter what kind of doctor they are
AP: You quit cold turkey -- no rehab, no Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. How did you pull that off?
Fieldy: I talk to people who go to rehab, and they get this AA book that they've got to read everyday -- really thick book. They go through all these 12 steps and do all this and that. It's crazy how everybody can sit and talk about rehab but if I come to say Christ was my rehab, it's not cool to say that. ... For me that's my rehab. That's what happened with me and it's an amazing and powerful thing.
AP: Your former bandmate, Brian "Head" Welch, faced criticism when he decided to follow God and quit drugs. Do you think you will too?
Fieldy: I didn't go and quit anything. I remained who I am, so I don't know if anybody wants to criticize. I'm still me. I made some changes, I didn't go around telling everybody I was ready to make changes, I just remained me. I may get more criticism today in putting this book out than I have. You know, maybe this is my time, but I'm ready to take the criticism and answer anybody's questions.
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