Parenting With Grandparents: The Michelle Obama Way

New York Magazine:

One of the most appealing things about Michelle Obama is her closeness to her mother. Some people might think it is strange or even pathological to bring your mother with you to the White House. Certainly, no one has done it since the Trumans, and no one at all seems to have done it as joyfully and naturally as the Obamas.

While many modern women have prickly or distant relations with their mothers, Michelle reportedly begged her mother to come with the family to Washington. Then she fielded out the manipulation to the most skillful and powerful manipulators, the 10-and-unders, saying, "All they have to do is look at her with sad eyes and she's done for." Mrs. Robinson responded the way any self-respecting American grandmother would: I don't want to intrude. But isn't it a sign of an extremely healthy mother-daughter relationship that she did anyway?

Read the whole story: New York Magazine

Comments

[2garen]

When it works out this way what a blessing! Another wonderful role model for Americans.

[MsIrisMG]

Mine was prickly, wishing I was distant...and finally getting my wish. Michelle's so lucky to be close to her mom. And she's an older mom like mine was. I hope they have her a long time.

[hollybork]

Lucky MIchelle, lucky girls! I would have loved to have my angel of a mother live with me while I was working as a professional lawyer, raising two children. The thought of having that maternal warmth, the constant amiable support, companionship, and practical down to earth advice is very appealing. No one is as trustworthy to a mother as her own mother. For me, that was not - alas! - possible. I am very pleased to see Michelle is able to have this option in the most beautiful of homes - the White House. It just tickles me to think of Mrs. Robinson, perhaps wandering into the Lincoln bedroom to help Malia work on her writing assignment. Good luck and God bless them all.

[iheartsmartpeople]

My family is very close and my husband's family as well. So grandparents not being a big part of our kids lives is just such an 'out there' concept for us. I hope to be able to do the same for my grandkids someday. I think it's great to see a family in the public eye who are similar to us in that regard!

[brooklyncitizen]

It is really cultural. Americans pride themselves on their independence and separateness...grandparents are supposed to have a life ,everyone is supposed to have a life.

There are cultures where living so separately and far apart is odd. In India family is so important that households are often made up of extended families- grandparents , widowed aunties, children, parents etc. This set up also teaches people tolerance for differences as well as value for community.

Latino culture is also very similar. In my family we were so clannish that my parents bought a house next to my Grandmother who shared her house with divorced/ widowed sons and daughters. It was the gathering place for the entire family and a halfway house of sorts when people were newly arrived to the US my grandmother's house is where they stayed.I still miss all that busyness and people dropping in and the gossip....Nana was great.

[quindy]

If grandparents and parents have the same parenting style and like each other there is nothing to object.

[fcsakes]

There's a whole bunch of difference between having your mother (or mother-in-law) living with you in a mansion and having one who is living with you in a small home where you must constantly rub elbows and where no one has very little, if any, privacy.

If there is room for everyone to stretch out and have their own space, then it is the best possible solution for so many different reasons.

[CR46]

I babysit my grandkids and spend quite a bit of time trying to help out my wonderful daughter-in-law especially now when my son is deployed. She is very appreciative(as is my son) though I try to stick to her rules as much as possible, but that doesn't have to mean everyone has to live in the same house.