Lou Dobbs Complains About 'Ethnic Holidays' Like St. Patrick's Day (VIDEO)

Lou Dobbs has a lot of time to fill on his radio show, and no one much wants to talk about NAFTA Highways or the coming Invasion of the Mexican Lepers anymore, so this presents difficulties. Luckily, yesterday was Saint Patrick's Day -- or, as it is also known, "Amateur Night (Observed)" -- the one day a year where we celebrate Irish stuff. Anyway, Dobbs is against "ethnic holidays," but that's not all -- he is evidently powerfully confused by them. For the clearest sign yet that this man is five years away from yelling at scary clouds and loud noises made by the teevee, give a listen:

[LISTEN.]

"And by the way, I've got to wish to you, each and every one, Happy Saint Patrick's Day! I do that, and I have to be honest with you, despite my fervent anti-ethnic holiday position. That's right! I'm against St. Patrick's Day. I'm against St. Columbus Day. Saint Joseph's Day. I'm against all of those things. Is there, by the way, is there a Jewish, a Jewish ethnic holiday? Is there one? No? Okay. The Jews have disappointed me. I mean, is there a St. Mauritius? No? A Belize? I don't know. We gotta have -- there's gotta be something else going on here! How about an Asian ethnic holiday? Is there one? You know, a Saint Jin Tao Wow? Chinese New Year? All right, we can do that ... I mean, what is with all of these ethnic holidays? I mean how about an American Day? How about were all the same kind of day?"

Yeah, it's been getting harder and harder out here for AMERICANS, who've only got the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Veterans' Day, Flag Day, President's Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, The Day After Thanksgiving, V-E Day, V-J Day, and the playing of the National Anthem before every single sporting event, ever to celebrate our wondrous amalgam of ethnicity.

Meanwhile: do Jews have an ethnic holiday? I imagine that Dobbs is splitting the difference between "religious holidays" and Saint Patrick's Day-like celebrations of Judaism. I took up the issue with Spencer Ackerman:

JASON: So, besides NOFX concerts, do y'all Jews have a holiday that's like Saint Patrick's Day?

SPENCER: There's Jewish Christmas! Whereby you eat Chinese food and go see a movie, and then get f**ked up.

JASON: Ahh! OF COURSE.

SPENCER: It's the original War on Christmas.

Anyway, next year in Kilkenny!

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Comments

[DoctorWhoDat]

11:54 PM on 03/19/2009

Let's have more Ethnic holidays and make them paid days off. I can party with anyone.

[Obamagirl214]

10:43 PM on 03/19/2009

OG KCUF FLESRUOY, Lou!!!

[dimplesmile7]

09:05 PM on 03/19/2009

This man is anti everything­. This is why I never watch his show.

[tommyboy41588]

08:23 PM on 03/19/2009

I mean how about an American Day?... It's called July 4th

[Bitsko]

07:36 PM on 03/19/2009

He resembles Kent Brockman more and more every day. Nay, every hour.

[carrieanna]

11:52 PM on 03/19/2009

...and wasn't Kent pretty quick to bow down to our new alien overlords?­??

[Dana D]

04:04 PM on 03/19/2009

Many years ago, I used to like this man. Saw him speak and he made sense. Then.

But what in h*e*ll has happened to him? He's become a crochety old man. Irritating is too mild a word for him. Can't suffer that doom and gloom of his for one more minute.

I really think it's time for him to hang it up.

[King Texas]

03:44 PM on 03/19/2009

"Anyway, next year in Kilkenny!"

Yeah.. Allison Kilkenny..­. i think she's hot. ;)

[katlade]

03:41 PM on 03/19/2009

What a crabby old man. Him, McCain and Cheney need to start a club.

[harriettubman]

02:31 PM on 03/19/2009

Lou must be a miserable man inside. I'm not Irish but I love celebratin­g St. Patty's Day. I celebrate along with my Irish brethen. I try to hit most ethnic festivals in my area too--Itali­an, Greek, African, etc.,,

[pons1595]

03:56 PM on 03/19/2009

So you find the alcoholic obscenity that is St Patrick's Day agreeable? Lou is right, we are a nation of morons and alcoholics­.

More than 100,000 U.S. deaths are caused by excessive alcohol consumptio­n each year.

At least once a year, the guidelines for low risk drinking are exceeded by an estimated 74% of male drinkers and 72% of female drinkers aged 21 and older.

65% of youth surveyed said that they got the alcohol they drink from family and friends.

Youth who drink alcohol are 50 times more likely to use cocaine than those who never drink alcohol.3

Across people of all ages, males are four times as likely as females to be heavy drinkers.

More than 18% of Americans experience alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence at some time in their lives.

Traffic crashes are the greatest single cause of death for persons aged 6–33. About 45% of these fatalities are in alcohol-re­lated crashes.

Underage drinking costs the United States more than $58 billion every year.

Alcohol is the most commonly used drug among young people.

Problem drinkers average four times as many days in the hospital as nondrinker­s — mostly because of drinking-r­elated injuries.

Alcohol kills 6½ times more youth than all other illicit drugs combined.

Concerning the past 30 days, 50% of high school seniors report drinking, with 32% report being drunk at least once.

[DawnK]

04:38 PM on 03/19/2009

Sounds like you're in a 12 step program. People need to be responsibl­e for themselves­, sour grapes. Yeah, I called you sour grapes.

[ccossey]

05:09 PM on 03/19/2009

As an Irish-Amer­ican, may I be the one to tell you that your post reflects you to be an arrogant, ignorant jerk. Since when does St. Patrick's Day have to be all about "boozing"? While I do enjoy drinking Guinness (or two) on St. Patrick's Day, this holiday should be about rememberin­g the history and traditions of Ireland. Here in America we would be smart to remember all of the blood and sweat of the Irish that went into making our country what it is today.

If you want a forum to complain about the American affinity for alcohol, that is fine.
But do not use this as a reason to encourage your ethnic biases.

[2008CaliforniaFan]

02:17 PM on 03/19/2009

Lou Dobbs.... the self-appoi­nted Chairman of the N.R.A

And the defender of the right of the 'good ole white boys '. Brain stuck in the 60's though.

[teepeeyoyo]

02:12 PM on 03/19/2009

It's no wonder I can't find his radio show.....w­ho pays to advertise with this guy?

[strangelet]

01:27 PM on 03/19/2009

St. Columbus? Oy.

[katlade]

03:42 PM on 03/19/2009

Cinco de Mayo - that is really his problem. And while we are at it let's not have holidays for religous groups either. What a dink.

[lapdogs]

01:15 PM on 03/19/2009

Hey Lou - I hear they're going to be putting on a play in New York next winter called "A Christmas Carol".

They're still looking for somebody to fill the role of Ebenezer Scrooge.

You would be a slam dunk for the spot!!!

And you don't even have to remember too many lines - - - "Bah! Humbug!!"

[faithnj]

01:29 PM on 03/19/2009

roflol. thanks for that, lapdogs!

[tailgateshirts]

01:06 PM on 03/19/2009

Such a war on christmas to not celebrate it and do it with the things that are available to do while the country shuts down for a night.

I will take my Chinese Food, Matzah Ball Parties at the Club and Liquor and have better sex than any of these idiots on X-Mas eve and be more than happy about doing it in the process. Not as a war on x-mas, but as a this is the only thing to do, and its kinda fun so why not instead of sitting in my room sad im not Christian?

Maybe thats what they want, jews to repent and decide hey, life sucks on xmas eve being a jew, maybe i should convert to be cool.

[lapdogs]

12:58 PM on 03/19/2009

Hey Dobbs - GET A LIFE!!!!!!