Scritti Politti: April 1, 2009

Eat The Press Operative Karla sends us the awesome cover of the April edition of D Magazine, featuring George W. Bush cold-chillin' in some Photoshopped madras shorts while flashing a little Longhorn pride. Yep, Ol' Bush 43 is layin' up in the cut in Big D, straight up stimulating the local real estate market, making the locals comfortable with our future Chinese overlords, and freaking people the F out with his crack team of Secret Service agents, who all dress like they're doing background acting for a porn version of the Matrix. I ask you, will America's love affair with its forty-third President ever start?

Working the APRIL FOOL'S EQUATION: Ben Smith's spoofy April Fools Politico memo, making fun of the famously weird "WIN THE AFTERNOON OR DIE LIKE DOGS IN THE STREETS FOREVER" memos that AREN'T jokes, is a good start. "Win the dawn" is catchy and the part that read "You should try to carve out personal time, if you need it, in the mid-afternoon hours when Web traffic naturally tends to slow a bit," probably touched off some gallows humor in the newsroom. But next time, Ben, you need to pepper it with ALL-CAPS ENTHUSIASMS and weird terminology that looks like it was stripped out of a Scientology E-Meter instruction manual.

Fiorina For Senate: We'd be remiss if we didn't mention that Carly Fiorina -- who advised John McCain until she was made to go away for a long while -- is mulling a run for the U.S. Senate in California. Her platform will likely be to save California by merging it with Oregon, then sit back and helplessly watch all of the talent of both states decamp to Canada, or something. Early polls indicate that Barbara Boxer will beat her senselessly.

Black Steel In The Hour Of Rinse: RedState's Erick Erickson is SHINING UP HIS GUN and preparing to CAP SOME CLOWNS because it's time for a GODDAMN REVOLUTION and no one COMES HARDER IN THE BLOGOSPHERE. Oh, and why is he going to do this? Poor little guy is all aggrieved that someone changed an obscure regulation in laundry detergent. Anyway, that's This Day In Phony Bellicosity.

Professor Reilly Seems To Be Unclear On The Concept of "Liar": John Reilly, an MIT professor, would really, really, really, really like Representative John Boehner to stop misrepresenting his study on cap and trade:

It has come to my attention that an analysis we conducted examining proposals to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, Report No., 146, Assessment of U.S. Cap-and-Trade Proposals, has been misrepresented in recent press releases distributed by the National Republican Congressional Committee. The press release claims our report estimates an average cost per family of a carbon cap and trade program that would meet targets now being discussed in Congress to be over $3,000, but that is nearly 10 times the correct estimate which is approximately $340. [...] Our Report 160 shows that the costs on lower and middle income households can be completely offset by returning allowance revenue to these households.

Boehner probably won't stop doing so, for some reason!

Daily Dose Of Delight: Yes, watching Stephen Colbert take down Glenn Beck last night, for all his pretend crying and not-pretend total insanity was fun, but his "Better Know A Lobby" feature on the newspaper industry was pretty hilarious, as well.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Lobby
comedycentral.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

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Comments

[Rule Of Law]

With her past experience at HP illegally spying on board members, she's ready to step right into another great republican's shoes--Nixon's!

[mcamp52]

Well her ego is big enough and her skills are small enough.

[JeanPaulSatire]

I hope Fiorina runs.

Given her stellar success at running HP/Compaq, her respect for the privacy of others, her mastery of political strategery as evidenced by her advice to Mc Ancient, and her very warm personality, she would be a perfect springboard for Barbara Boxer's third Senate term.

[tailgateshirts]

oh so is she going to outsource the government to India too?

[ena]

She is a failed corporate honcho, she lisps and manages to put foot in mouth frequently a combination that I could not vote for.

[chasmader]

I really cannot understand why people like her. She was run out of H/P due to her lack of administrative skills and we all saw in the campaign last year that she is prone to talking before thinking.

So, let her spend her money on running for office. She will never win and it will be fun to watch her fail, again.

[soonerdru]

From that photo it appears as though she should 'seriously consider' eating some food.

[Lemmy]

Waste of time and money. Dims in CA would vote for Bin Laden over any conservative candidate.­.

[markscoular]

Please say it is true...Fio­rina has more baggage than Palin and will make for great entertainment. Her ego is legendary in the business world. However, she will be able to complete a sentence and does have a valid passport.

[ayisha]

in the current political climate - where CEO has become the dirtiest word in the English language - the person who is the poster child for all the failed policies and self-rewarding that's led us to this predicamen­t...is "seriously considering" a Senate run? i cannot believe that there is anyone who would provide financial or political support to this lunatic...­even among the Republicans.

[imusintheevening]

Great idea, a failed CEO bringing more corporatocracy to government.

CF was the worst thing to ever happen to a once great Silicon Valley company. Her shallow marketing destroyed one of the most highly respected and innovative companies by trading unparalleled instrumentation expertise to brand mediocre consumer computer products.

[robeson]

Carly Fiorina 'Seriously Considering' Senate Run, Will Give Up Post Of Palin's Hand Maiden.

[paleoimage]

Stockholder's paid tens of millions of dollars for Carly to tank the once mighty Hewlett-Packard. Now, taxpayer's may have the opportunity to pay far less in order to give this elitist a shot at advancing the Republican plan to make the USA a feudal state.
Carly, of course, is oblivious to the fact that Sen. Boxer would destroy her in an election. She'll have no problem raising and wasting millions in a futile attempt.

[WyomingJack]

Between Meg Whitman running for Governor and Carly Fiorina For Senate, it is a race to see who generates the most fodder for late night comedians. Both of them say such idiotic things it makes Sarah Palin look like she has some common sense. Well, maybe that is stretching it too far.

[crayola 08]

it's amazing the things one can accomplish by being a failed CEO

[NewYorkMike]

She did such a great job at HP - NOT!

[Georgia1992]

I remember her when she was at Lucent Technologies, Inc. before HP. She tried to play the cheerleader having weekly company conference (feel good) calls. Trying to pump up the troops because the stock went up or we won many multi-million $ contracts. No one in my organization was interested as well as thrilled about her.