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Scritti Politti: April 1, 2009

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Eat The Press Operative Karla sends us the awesome cover of the April edition of D Magazine, featuring George W. Bush cold-chillin' in some Photoshopped madras shorts while flashing a little Longhorn pride. Yep, Ol' Bush 43 is layin' up in the cut in Big D, straight up stimulating the local real estate market, making the locals comfortable with our future Chinese overlords, and freaking people the F out with his crack team of Secret Service agents, who all dress like they're doing background acting for a porn version of the Matrix. I ask you, will America's love affair with its forty-third President ever start?

Working the APRIL FOOL'S EQUATION: Ben Smith's spoofy April Fools Politico memo, making fun of the famously weird "WIN THE AFTERNOON OR DIE LIKE DOGS IN THE STREETS FOREVER" memos that AREN'T jokes, is a good start. "Win the dawn" is catchy and the part that read "You should try to carve out personal time, if you need it, in the mid-afternoon hours when Web traffic naturally tends to slow a bit," probably touched off some gallows humor in the newsroom. But next time, Ben, you need to pepper it with ALL-CAPS ENTHUSIASMS and weird terminology that looks like it was stripped out of a Scientology E-Meter instruction manual.

Fiorina For Senate: We'd be remiss if we didn't mention that Carly Fiorina -- who advised John McCain until she was made to go away for a long while -- is mulling a run for the U.S. Senate in California. Her platform will likely be to save California by merging it with Oregon, then sit back and helplessly watch all of the talent of both states decamp to Canada, or something. Early polls indicate that Barbara Boxer will beat her senselessly.

Black Steel In The Hour Of Rinse: RedState's Erick Erickson is SHINING UP HIS GUN and preparing to CAP SOME CLOWNS because it's time for a GODDAMN REVOLUTION and no one COMES HARDER IN THE BLOGOSPHERE. Oh, and why is he going to do this? Poor little guy is all aggrieved that someone changed an obscure regulation in laundry detergent. Anyway, that's This Day In Phony Bellicosity.

Professor Reilly Seems To Be Unclear On The Concept of "Liar": John Reilly, an MIT professor, would really, really, really, really like Representative John Boehner to stop misrepresenting his study on cap and trade:

It has come to my attention that an analysis we conducted examining proposals to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, Report No., 146, Assessment of U.S. Cap-and-Trade Proposals, has been misrepresented in recent press releases distributed by the National Republican Congressional Committee. The press release claims our report estimates an average cost per family of a carbon cap and trade program that would meet targets now being discussed in Congress to be over $3,000, but that is nearly 10 times the correct estimate which is approximately $340. [...] Our Report 160 shows that the costs on lower and middle income households can be completely offset by returning allowance revenue to these households.

Boehner probably won't stop doing so, for some reason!

Daily Dose Of Delight: Yes, watching Stephen Colbert take down Glenn Beck last night, for all his pretend crying and not-pretend total insanity was fun, but his "Better Know A Lobby" feature on the newspaper industry was pretty hilarious, as well.

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