Jim Cramer Opens NYSE

OH NOES! In celebration of CNBC's Mad Money, which has been straight up parting fools from their money for 1,000 episodes as of today, someone decided that it would be a good idea to invite that MacGruber of financial news, Jim Cramer, to ring in the day at the New York Stock Exchange. I guess War and Pestilence were too busy, shoeing their horses, to do the honors themselves.

Later, Cramer was interviewed by Erin Burnett and Mark Haines, to promote synergy. Cramer discussed being called a buffoon by Nouriel Roubini, describing the insult as a "badge of honor." This is how some men become bulletproof, you know -- they wear a thousand tiny badges of honor.

Here is an image of today's event. You'll note that Cramer is surrounded by twelve disciples. Which one shall betray him? God willing, all of them.

Anyway, the Dow is actually up slightly today, but seriously, y'all should tread very carefully today, with all this godless fate-tempting you're doing.

PREVIOUSLY, on the HUFFINGTON POST:
Final Thoughts On Cramer Vs. Stewart

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