POLITICS

Worst Media Moments of Obama's First 100 Days?

05/24/2009 05:12 am 05:12:01 | Updated May 25, 2011

Hey kids! Do you like listicles? And polls? And voting in polls? And reading listicles? And mashup videos of so-called media professionals, behaving as if they were idiot children or egomaniacal monsters from the dark side of the moon? Well, then, this recent initiative from Media Matters has all, or some, of the things you love!

Today, Media Matters is taking stock of the worst media moments of the first 100 days of the Obama Presidency. They're showing a strange faith that no one in the media will be capable of doing something epically boneheaded, I think. I mean, I'd personally recommend you save room for CNN's 100 Daypocalypse and Hologram Zombie Celebration that they've got planned, because I'm forecasting that one to be partly cloudy with a chance of BONKERS.

Still, this is a pretty good list. It includes such classics as:

--Glenn Beck's whimsical arsonist fetish!

--Rush Limbaugh indulges in his anal rape fantasia!

--Pat Buchanan. Wife beating. More or less self-explanatory!

--Rick Santelli rallies the least sympathetic people in America to rally!

--Glenn Beck makes some dude sit in an idling car, because of Al Gore!

--Jim Cramer yammers on about Bolshevism!

--Rush Limbaugh compares unions to Tony Soprano, but fails to explain whether those unions got capped in the last scene. I mean, let's face it, we all have opinions, but that quick fade to black was still pretty ambiguous. And really, Meadow, is parallel parking that hard?

--Glenn Beck mocks the infirm, because people without functioning legs are socialists, leaching off the ambulatory.

--Larry Cudlow sees gangsta gang signs and fist bumps and jive talk, everywhere, even in his dreams, because he is a cosseted tool.

--More Glenn Beck, saying Texas should secede, maybe launch itself into space and fight with Martians, who knows? Has it not sunk in that the guy has got more loose screws than the Ikea Returns Department?

--Dick Morris! What sort of low opinion must you have of yourself to even associate with Dick Morris? I mean, you see this toe-sucking perv coming down the sidewalk, you cross to the other side of the street! Am I right? Seriously!

--Fox Business Channel's longhaired hipster nimrod says something about fascism that's literally the first time anyone in America ever saw him on the teevee because no one watches the Fox Business Channel.

Anyway, here's a funny mashup video. This is America, circa the twenty-first century, and this is precisely why advanced races aren't visiting us, with their cures for cancer.

[WATCH.]

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