Dickipedia: Rupert Murdoch

Keith Rupert Murdoch, AC, KCSG (born March 11, 1931) is an Australian-born media mogul, wrinkled-up sourpuss, and a dick. As the owner of several media outlets, as well as the majority shareholder, chairman, and managing director of News Corporation, Murdoch is single-handedly responsible for the tabloidification of mainstream news across the globe, in all formats. As such, he can officially be credited with ruining Michael Jackson's life.

While Rupert Murdoch does, in fact, come from the Land Down Under, should you ask him if he "speaks-a your language," he probably won't just smile and hand you a Vegemite sandwich.

With a net worth of $4 billion, Murdoch ranks as the 132nd-wealthiest person on earth. Of course he's still getting his ass waxed by Bill Gates, the entire Walton family, and the Sultan of Brunei. At least he's still beating Oprah.

Ted Turner wants to tear Rupert Murdoch a new one so bad, he'd sell all his rights to the Oglalla Acquifer--and throw in a used pair of Jane Fonda's panties--just to get him in the Octagon for one round.

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