[Good Lord, this has become a full-blown "thing" now. Please see utterly deranged updates, below.]
Oh hi, everyone! Are we still doing that election year thing, where if a politician consumes anything other than box wine, Busch, and self-killed moose meat, it means they are elitist? Apparently, this is the case, and so, the national nightmare for arugula -- which would probably be better off if it were referred to as "rocket" like the Brits do -- continues.
As you know, President Obama and Vice President Biden made a historic trip to an Arlington, VA hamburger joint, to celebrate the "stress tests" or something, bringing the entire press corps in tow. Well, it took all of Sean Hannity's brain power to come up with a joke about it, but he finally decided to make fun of the fact that Obama wanted a "spicy" or "Dijon" mustard on his cheeseburger, just like the undead Nikita Khruschev prefers.
Of course, I could harp on the fact that Grey Poupon is actually a pretty inexpensive condiment, a bottle of which I have right now in my palatial 800-square-foot apartment manor, but that's really beside the point. If you really want to dig down into the elitism of the outing, consider this - as Washingtonian points out, at Ray's Hell Burgers, "You can order the patties simply grilled, with a chipotle-spiked 'diablo' marinade, blackened Cajun-style, or au poivre with a black-peppercorn crust." Fancy! And if Obama had really wanted to strut his elite tastes, he could have opted to add any number of artisanal cheeses, like Dutch mustard seed Gouda, Queen Anne Stilton, or a cave-aged Amish cheddar. See! If Hannity had done some research, he could have really unleashed an epic, idiot barrage over fancy foodstuffs.
Of course, the burgers start at $7, because restauranteur Michael Landrum seems to think that quality food should be made affordable. Enjoying the burgers are well within reach of multimillionaire infotainer toffs like Sean Hannity. Anyway, Dijon mustard: normal people eat it, you can get it at fracking Au Bon Pain, for Pete's sake, so, enough. Okay? Enough. And thus endeth Eat The Press' brief foray into Zagats' territory.
Here's Mark Steyn, subbing for Rush Limbaugh, saying, "John Kerry couldn't get away with that stuff but he makes it seem like just like a regular thing to do." Awesome, Mark! A John Kerry joke! Wow. Tell us more about your exciting trip back in time to the magical world of 2004!
And here's Laura Ingraham, wondering, "What kind of man orders a cheeseburger without ketchup, but Dijon mustard?"
What kind of man orders a cheeseburger without ketchup? Uhm, how about a FULL GROWN ONE? Ketchup, and it's cousin "catsup," doesn't come near my food, because I am no longer a small child. And Media Monitor Phillip G. adds the following insight into ketchup:
It's a Chicago thing. Ketchup (in particular on hot dogs) is a serious faux pas.
Philip points out this admonition from the good people at the Vienna Beef hotdog company, who warn: "If you ask for ketchup, you'd better be under the age of twelve." (I sort of think this coddles eleven year-olds.)
How will Donald Trump’s first 100 days impact YOU? Subscribe, choose the community that you most identify with or want to learn more about and we’ll send you the news that matters most once a week throughout Trump’s first 100 days in office. Learn more