06/20/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Jon Stewart Mocks The Nonsensical Aversion To Closing Guantanamo Bay (VIDEO)

Previously, on Eat The Press, I had taken great pains to mock many of the inane arguments for why it is nonsensical to be told by the grown-ups who preside in the House and Senate, as well as those who pundit for a living on the teevee that American prisons -- sufficient to house all manner of depraved criminals -- were not up to the task of also housing the terrorists currently at Gitmo. Apparently, these grown-ups are unaware of America's awesome and terrifying ability to incarcerate people while simultaneously possessed by the belief that these detainees have MAGIC POWERS. Last week, the House GOP crafted a dumb bill called the Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act, sculpted from pure angel feces. And this week, the Senate Democrats caved in to the nonsense, removing the funding that President Barack Obama requested in the war spending bill to close the prison.

Jon Stewart took up the matter last night, and in just six minutes time, delivered what should be considered the most comprehensive mocking of this cavalcade of poor reasoning, bad decisions and unadulterated stupidity. You get the weird fears over the detainees, the illogic of NOT housing them in the middle of a prison in the middle of an Army base and the shrugging irresponsibility of Republicans and Democrats alike. And just for good measure, he adds to the mix a guy named Joseph Garner, who pulled someone's brain out of a person, ATE it, and is TERRIFYINGLY INDIFFERENT about it.

By the way, I'm guessing that the plucked brain was the one that used to belong to New York Representative Peter King.


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