Colbert Hates Yoo: Takes On Philadelphia Inquirer For Hiring Torture Defender, Mocks Liberal Media For Terrible Puns (VIDEO)

Yes, yes, I know, I did it again. In the grand tradition of using John Yoo's name to create dad-jokesque headlines, I too am to blame. But I never tortured anyone physically, so hopefully you'll let me off the hook.

When the news broke that torture memo author John Yoo was hired by the "Philadelphia Inquirer" to write a monthly column, readers were none too happy.

Harold Jackson, the paper's editorial page editor defended the decision saying, "There was a conscious effort on our part to counter some of the criticism of 'The Inquirer' as being a knee-jerk liberal publication. We made a conscious effort to add some conservative voices to our mix." As Colbert explains the only two conservatives available were Yoo and a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

Jackson also pointed out that the paper had a spotless record on torture, but as our own Jason Linkins likes to say, "If you take a steaming dump on a perfectly made bed with clean sheets, no one in their right mind will want to sleep in it."

Colbert addressed this topic in detail last night, discussing the decision to hire Yoo and predicting the titles of his upcoming columns.


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Comments

[Gatormouth]

I have a problem with calling Yoo just a "Torture Defender". Some Right Wing talk show hosts & U.S. Senators may be "Torture Defenders", but Yoo is more. I am sure it was not a case where Yoo had his ear to the ground and, discovering of what the Cheney A team was about, approved of their logic and volunteered to support them. I am sure it was more "This is what I want to do, tell me how to justify it legally". This is not mere support, he was a facilitator as well. It could not have happened unless Yoo, or some creature like him, showed the cabal the way. He couldn't be called an innocent dupe in court, he is a full blown war crimes co-conspirator.

[Tom Kenneally]

I agree. What he really was was a torture enabler.

[ladycubsfan]

I LOVE all of these Yooser comments. Fantastic puns, people! You make me proud. Yoo, on the other hand, doesn't make anyone proud. I agree with an earlier post...I wish I had a subscription to this stupid paper so I could have the pleasure of canceling it. Let's just pretend I did, eh?

[Truelee]

Enhanced interrogation is a yoophemism for torture.

[liberalbug]

Never been to philly, never read the paper, but it seems a bit silly to hire someone so lacking in intellect to be the new conservative voice of the paper. Seriously, YU's torture logic would earn him a C- in first year law school at best. Everyone knows you don't write "results oriented" memos. That's how you lose cases. There have to be many more bright conservatives the paper could have found. Well, maybe not.

[SusanFromTX]

I wish I lived in Philly, so I could cancel my subscription.

[duckfan00]

Come on Berkeley...Stand by your great legal reputation and fire Yoo immediately!!! Send a message to all future lawyers that to provide legal rationale for criminal behavior will never be tolerated again...

[drricklippin]

I am very proud to announce that after years of routinely getting Letters-to-Ed in The Phila Inquirer published I seems to have been banned from its pages by the likes of Brian Tierney and Kevin Ferris (both admittedly from the right politically)

Considering who the Inquirer has hired recently (Santorum/Yoo) I must admit I am empowered by my banning


Dr. Rick Lippin
Southampton,Pa

[eden4barack08]

So the Inquirer's record on torture was so spotless, that it was just crying out for its first stain? Well, Mission Accomplished! And what a gigantic first STAIN they went for!

[thromulese]

F**k Yoo and the horse Yoo rode in on.

[naschkatze]

LOL

[lentinelia]

What's the new columnist's name at the Inquirer?
Yoo.
Me?
No. Yoo.
Who?
No, he's the President of China.
Who is the President of China?
Yes.
Is he writing a new column?
Hu?
Yoo.
Me?

[wadenelson1]

that's a good start.

[naschkatze]

That's pretty damn clever.

[MacDaffy]

Bravo, Lentilia!!! If you'll allow me...
What's the new columnist's name at the Inquirer?
Yoo.
Me?
No. Yoo.
Who?
No, he's the President of China.
Who is the President of China?
Yes.
Is he writing a new column?
Hu?
Yes. Hu.
No. It's Yoo.
Me?
Not you! Yoo!
How am I supposed to write a column if I don't know who is writing it?
But you know Hu's not writing it: The writer is Yoo!
OK. Let's say I write the column. Who do I give it to?
You don't write the column! Yoo writes the column and Hu has nothing to do with it!
This is who's idea?
No! I told you Hu has nothing to do with it. Some lamebrain named Jackson hired Yoo.
Me?
No, Yoo!
Oh, screw it!
Hey! That's the title of Yoo's first column!

[H I McDonough]

Something very telling about sychos like yoo, bush et al that still comb their hair the way mom used to do it for them.

[StephBr]

Ever noticed Colbert does too?
It's just an American thing

[barksalot]

Amazing how terrified libs are of someone with views not their own. This is a trademark sign of a group who cannot formulate an intelligient argument so what's left but to stifle the one with an opposing view.

[jmpurser]

You mean like ad hominem attacks on a straw man? That kind of trademark?

[JazzyJim]

I'm actually surprised the NeoCons haven't noticed Mr. Yoo's obvious ties to China and therefore demanding a wall (to) be built around our borders to keep the Chinese threat out! Of course, I could be wrong about Mr. Yoo's ethnicity (he could have been born American, but the people that watch Fox would NEVER buy it - "Hey, he's not American! Just look at 'em") and I am oh so surprised anyone from the right would use "intelligent" in a sentence, due to the fact that their arguments always lack "truth, science, detail or fact". Helluva whole lot of blind ignorant faith though. Good followers.

[eden4barack08]

You mean as terrified as Cheney finally coming out of his bunker, because this administration doesn't "share his views"?

[thromulese]

Torture is not an “opposing view” it’s a war crime.

[wadenelson1]

/co-sign

[naschkatze]

We're terrified of him? I'm ready to at him tooth and claw.

[naschkatze]

Left out a word, go, charge, lunge, something.

[IDIOTA]

Yoo did not break the law, probably. But he hurt the country in any case.

[Cyberoptic]

Put him on trial.

Put him on trial.

Put him on trial.

Put him on trial.

[H I McDonough]

So what you're saying is to put him on trial?

[BFare]

That, or put him on trial. Either way.

[AbbieHoffman2]

Remember the name people: John Yoo. T.orturer