The Mark Sanford Affair Commemorated In Poetry

08/02/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Republican legislators are wondering whether Mark Sanford has gone crazy.

"That's a troubled man," said Sen. Harvey Peeler, R-Cherokee, a longtime Sanford ally who this year became frustrated at Sanford's refusal to take federal stimulus money. "You can see it in his eyes and his body language. I'm concerned about his mental well-being."

John Crangle, executive director of Common Cause South Carolina, called Sanford "delusional" and said it was obvious the governor has "serious mental problems."[...]

The state Constitution has measures for removing a mentally unstable governor, but that's not likely to happen in this case, observers said.

As many regular readers of our Sunday Morning Liveblog know, I'm not averse to turning these here Eat The Press pages over to the poets who walk among us and bravely pen verse about the world in which we live. I do this for many reasons. First, I think it can be helpful, from time to time, to the slip the earthbound shackles of the rote in order to touch the face of the Sublime. Second, I like to think that if Alexander Pope -- inventor of the "dope rhyme" -- was alive today and watching the same news that I'm watching, he'd be straight up wrecking fools.

So when we received this wonderful bit of poesy from Gershon Hepner in our inboxes, so clearly written in the throes of contemplating Sanford's covert polyamory, I wanted to share its excellence with you.

From Mr. Hepner's biography on Poemhunter:

I am a physician, educated in England and living in LA. I am married to a brilliant poet, Linda, and a father of four children who are all above average, In addition I am a scholar of the Hebrew Bible, and have written a book due to be published in the summer of 2009, called Legal Friction: Interplay between Biblical Laws and Narratives. I am collecting a selection of my biblical poems that I hope to publish at the end of 2009 if I can find the time.

Without further ado, here is "Appalachian Tale:"

On the Appalachian trail

hangs an Argentinian tale.

a trail-rhyme romance of which Chaucer

might well have been a rude endorser.

Alibis in Appalachia,

more consistent with males' nature

than the nature you may find

on the nature trail remind

the people who're in Carolina

that their Governor's a finer

lover than they thought when they

elected him. Now let us pray

for him, and nature of the male,

trailing in pursuit of tail,

and all the best of Argentina's

Ninas friendly to the penis.

All praise and gratitude to Mr. Hepner. For more of his poetry, click here!

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