Ayatollah Khamenei: Dickipedia

Dickipedia/HuffPost Comedy:

Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Hoseyni Khamene'i (born July 17, 1939) is an Iranian politician, brutal dictator in religious leader's clothing, and a dick. He is not to be confused with Ayatollah Khomeini, although good luck---that whole Khomeini/Khamenei thing is really confusing.

Ayatollah Khamenei has been described as one of the three biggest influences on the Islamic Republic, the others being Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, leader of the revolution, and the tag-team of The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkov, whose victory over Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda in WrestleMania 1 remains one of the proudest moments in Iranian history.

President from 1981 to 1989, Ayatollah Khamenei succeeded Ayatollah Khomeini as Supreme Leader of Iran. Anyone who takes the title "Supreme Leader" is also, by definition, a supreme dick. Well, maybe except for Diana Ross, but even she's kind of being a c-u-next Tuesday about Michael Jackson's will.

Khamenei is a Shia Muslim, as opposed to a Sunni Muslim, two sects of Islam who hate each other both despite and because of their extreme underlying similarity, sort of like Sean Hannity and Keith Olbermann.

For most of his tenure, Khamenei has been more of a behind-the-scenes dick, a Puff Daddy to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Notorious B.I.G., so to speak (and we all know how that ends, with Ahmadinejad gunned down on his way home from the Soul Train Music Awards).

During the presidential elections and subsequent protests of June 2009, however, Khamenei whipped out his dickishness for the whole world to see. Good luck getting him to zip it up, now. Silver lining: it just might be worth dredging up those old "Ayatollah Ass-a-hollah" T-shirts you've had in your basement since 1989.

Don't let the dastar fool you. Once he gets a couple of dooghs in him, Ayatollah Khamenei can Baba karam with the best of them.

Read the whole story: Dickipedia/HuffPost Comedy

Comments

[AbrahamSadegh]

Sayyid Ali Khamene'i is not a Grand Ayatollah. Becoming even an "Ayatollah" requires having a large number of Shiites who have come to personally recognize one as a person to be emulated as a perfect model representing Islam. It is a kind of natural development. Becoming an Ayatollah has nothing to do either a political or administrative appointment.

Khamene'i is not in reality even an Ayatollah. His rise to his present position has been primarily due to his support by Ayatollah Khomeini and has had nothing to do with the normal process of becoming an Ayatollah - nevermind a Grand one.

Dickipedia should check is sources more carefully.

[Neidi]

LOL! I think the comment about "baba Karam" is lost on A LOT of people.

[Jyoti Naik]

I don't know which Khomeini this (They are all the same ) is but his teachings are horrifying. Check it out http://www.homa.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=74&Itemid=58

[LeftWingX10]

Brutal Dictator, Yo! that's Barak's kinda guy . . let's talk . I mean I talk you listen . I just can't Stop!

[Mike Barden]

Are dooghs Puff Pasteries?

[bigrob in austin]

D*ckipedia used to be a whole lot funnier before HuffPo started managing it.

[rmoret]

This is probably the funnies of these entries I’ve seen...The bits about Diana Ross, Biggie, Hannity and K.O. are hilarious. BTW, “He is not to be confused with Ayatollah Khomeini, although good luck—-that whole Khomeini/Khamenei thing is really confusing” is SO TRUE!

[turfkiller]

This is why I don't want any religious leader in charge of our society. Islam, Christian or the priests of the thousands of other gods have destroyed the lives of so many through out the world and across the millennia.

America is not a Christian nation, but a nation where you can be Christian or any other religion.

[rizvisa1]

Our friends from right will not be pleased to read your statement that "America is not a Christian nation".

[Iamcaptainamerica]

Silly Iranians! How can you celebrate the Iron Sheik & Volkoff's tag team title and overlook the sheik's World Title victory over Bob Backlund in December of 1983?

[forpeace]

Iamcaptainamerica
-------------
Why would you call Iranians si.lly?!

[Iamcaptainamerica]

I was extending the joke started in the dickipedia entry that stated that two of the most influential people in Iran are professional wrestlers Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff.

You can call me silly if it makes you feel better.

[Yves Papa]

Are there documented cases of child abuse about these guys?

[CraziesAreRunningTheShow]

The supreme DICK...

Iranians want freedom from this medieval religion, they will win but not without major bloodshed... something Islam is very good at providing. Cretins.

Islam...religion of peace my arse.

[turfkiller]

and you 'peaceful' Christians keep invading them. Always for religious reasons be it for the Gods of Jesus or Democracy.

[protagonia]

They are the exact opposite of Jesus in virtually every way.

[CitizenJ]

And the Crusades were the epitome of a peace rally.

Less propaganda consumption, more intellectual curiosity.

[ThomHartmannFan]

While they Iranians are in need of reforms, in Islam, the church IS the state... they've been that way for 1500 years. Someone born yesterday should not be expected to know that.
Just remember that the Church/Popes used to run the show in Western societies. Islam isn't really set up for the fundamental changes that Christianity went through in search of freedoms.

Besides, not everyone in the world desires democracy...
( Transparency perhaps :) )

[discourse jockey]

Unfunny as always. HP should cut 23/6 loose and contract a truly funny site like cracked.com.

[kappa08]

true

[CitizenJ]

I find it pretty funny.

Imagine that: Two people with differing comedic tastes.

[discourse jockey]

No. We are one person with taste and one person with bad taste.

[Pablo Manriquez - Huffpost Blogger]

Dikipedia is a resource I'd not yet heard of, but look forward to using often. Cheers.

[only1Demvoter]

Pablo : At the rate the right is going, that is going to look more like an unavoidable ' collsiion course ' !


-ralph