Sarah Palin's Resignation In A Minute...And A Half (VIDEO)

Watching Sarah Palin's press conference on Friday was like watching a drunk seal trying to land a plane, or in basketball terms (which Sarah prefers) like watching a grade-schooler try to score on Kobe while jabbering inanely. As Gail Collins put it:

"When she ran for vice president, she frequently became disjointed and garbled when she departed from her prepared remarks. Now the prepared remarks are incoherent, too."

There was something about a fish and sports and a lot about politics and not quitting but then quitting. It ended and I felt more confused than when it started. I felt down right mavericky...or something. So I knew we had to boil this down for you, our lovely fans, to its key moments.


WATCH:

Get HuffPost Comedy On Facebook and Twitter!

Comments

[GayGrandpa]

IS SHE GONE YET?

[mlaiuppa]

Well, that made as much sense as the full length version.

Which says all you need to say about Sarah Palin.

[horsedoc]

Idiocracy (are we there already?)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy

[NWNHNM]

She sounds like the 20 year old beauty pageant contestant, twenty years past her prime.

[issa09]

She kind of reminds me of a student in 5th grade . The kids had to read 100 books to win a reading competition. She won by reading 100 Dr. Seus books.

[fumes]

how does she order takeout at the drive-thru?

[Goliadkin]

They just put one of everything in a blender, divide it into seven 32-oz. cups, and bill the State.

[BillLaimbeer]

Perfect!

[imfedup]

I'm not digging this centered post thing . . .

[poaster]

Favorite Palin video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAC05nrYCdg

[liviapeacock]

She's the gift that keeps on giving and even though I despise the creature, I can't turn away....

[Carpool Kathleen]

Not "Politics As Usual", indeed! Politicians don't usually dump their job.

[Jyoti Naik]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/palin-skewered-on-fox

[imfedup]

WOW. Brave woman. She won't be asked back, that's for sure!

[troika]

I want a lot of material for SNL. I miss Tina Fey. Perhaps Palin could run, provide material and get kicked around in the elections.

[FZliveson]

She's standing by a lake apparently on her way to go kill fish
and she's saying; "Only dead fish go with the flow!" Where's the flow in a lake?
Her metaphors are as well mixed and well placed as the "diced carrots" in Billy Connolly's "When in Rome" skit about Creme de Menth.
http://www.ibras.dk/comedy/when_in_rome.htm

[Whitley2009]

She's not only good at metaphors, she's also a great inventor. Yesterday, she invented the "Department of Law," a totally new and heretofore unknown branch of our federal judiciary. She just keeps on giving.

[DashRIPRockIII]

I don't do this very often, but I feel I must call your remark stupid. Does one have to be standing next to a river to use a metaphor about a river? That has to be one of the dumbest observations I've read on Huffpo. Considering the number of liberals here, that is saying something.

I suppose if she had used the well-known metaphor "Time is Money" you'd be complaining that there were no clocks or currency in the picture. If she had made a remark about a bear defecating in the woods, you'd have really been confused. If that's the best you can come up to criticize Palin, give it up. You're not very good at it.

[crablover]

Wasn't she wearing one of the jackets that the RNC bought for her during the campaign?
What ever happened to her campaign wardrobe?

[DashRIPRockIII]

THe RNC can do whatever it wants to do with its money. When is the last time you questioned a male politician's wardrobe or Mrs. Obama's or Hillary Clinton's wardrobe?

She didn't even pick out those clothes. Those who did buy them weren't certain of her size and bought several sizes of each outfit. Surely you know that her clothes were no more expensive than Mrs. Obama's or HIllary Clinton's?

[mlaiuppa]

They are a lot more expensive than Mrs. Obama's.

And I'll assume she kept everything in her size and just returned what didn't fit.

And I hope she declared them to the IRS as "income".

[DEJM]

Reading the previous comments reminds me of just how mean people can be to those in politics and public service.

It has been said that if Abraham Lincoln had lived during contemporary times and gone on television he never would have been elected to office. He was awkward-looking, tall and gangly and was a terrible, rambling public speaker.

And you would have had a field day with him.

[YellerDawg]

Sarah is a product of the culture of celebrity in this era. She looks great, says nothing. I also take issue with the comment about Lincoln's speeches being terrible and rambling. His speeches and repartee are famous for their brilliance and wit. I've read that he had a high-pitched voice which wouldn't have been very telegenic, I suppose. Notwithstanding all that, comparing Lincoln and Palin? Are you serious?

[DashRIPRockIII]

Some of the articles written by liberals about Palin's press conference have been much more rambling in nature than the press conference itself.

[swe123]

This isn't the 1800's. We expect more.

[gocougs]

Have you read one of Lincoln's speeches. The man was a poet... a brilliant speechwriter, but really ... who knows about his delivery.

[Johnagain]

The Gettysburg address is considered by many historians to be the greatest speech ever written in the English language. Comparing Palin's speeches to Lincoln's sounds like something Palin would do.

[thucy3]

Oh please! Lincoln first made his reputation as a brilliant attorney. His speeches are well crafted, succinct, eloquent. His speech at the Cooper Institute in New York in 1860, for example, is a stunning exercise in seamless logic as he dismantles the position of those claiming that slavery was a just and necessary institution. It was this speech that launched his bid for the 1860 Republican nomination.

What's more, Lincoln was a brilliant debater. Go read the Lincoln-Douglas debates. Then ask yourself, can you imagine Sarah Palin being forced to think on her feet for a full two to three hours, debating one on one with her opponent, without notes, without handlers?

Read Lincoln's Second Inaugural, one of the gems of American political literature. His First Inaugural is almost as good. Read the Gettysburg Address. Even his telegrams to Grant, jotted down on the spot while Lincoln read the latest dispatches at the War Department, shine with an intelligence Palin (and most contemporary politicians) can't even approach!

Comparing Palin to Lincoln! Now I've heard everything.

[aquarius2001]

Wow!! Very well said!! (You really know you're stuff!)

[awaitingmd]

i just got schooled. thank you

[blaqntelligence]

I learn something new every day. I've heard of each of these events you referenced......Now I can't wait to hit the library and read them for myself. Thank you.

[JFaye]

Many of Ms. Palin's supporters are having a difficult time accepting her bailout and perhaps because it suggest they miscalculated her on some level.

Ms. Palin's overstated physical beauty and flirtatious mannerisms got her through and she made it to not only a governorship, but a contender for VP of the US. It defies imagination except she obviously had supporters who carried a lot of weight in Alaska and for whatever reason worked to have her elected as the state's top executive.

She was used by men, but allowed them to use her as she benefitted financially. I can't say she enjoyed the power because it seemed to escape her how to embrace the power of her office, evidenced by the endless ethics investigations. Yes, she lacked political savvy or better yet her insufficient knowledge and grasp of national politics and world affairs became her undoing. A testament to John McCain's poor judgement is he set her prematurely on a national stage with little to no preparation.

Personally, the likelihood of her running for the Republican nominee for President is not all that great. You can't learn passion ... You either have it or you do not and it became increasingly clear as much as she is a natural competitor, Ms. Palin is not substantive on a national political stage.