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Fox News Host: Americans "Keep Marrying Other Species" (VIDEO)

First Posted: 08/08/09 06:12 AM ET Updated: 05/25/11 02:35 PM ET

OH NOES! What happened on Fox and Friends today, people? According to Gawker, the bright and shiny lights have once again dazzled Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade (the Brown-Haired Guy) into pure befuddlement, and this subsequently caused a series of idiot words to pour forth from his cakehole. And no one thought to stop him or force his head into a bucket of water because this is exactly how Roger Ailes drew it up on the whiteboard! I suppose it must be said: Maybe Morning Joe's Starbucks sponsorship should be accepted as a reward for having some sort of social conscience.

Jesus, this Brown-Haired Guy. He is like a murder of idiot crows, stuffed into an anthropomorphic flesh bag, that somehow successfully filled out a W-4 form and wandered onto a soundstage where he was adopted as a pet. From time to time, he produces words, and today, as his colleagues attempted to discuss a study that suggested that couples who enjoy long marriages showed a reduced tendency to develop Alzheimer's disease, he came up with these insane, vaguely racial ramblings:

BROWN HAIRED GUY: We keep marrying other species and other ethnics--


GRETCHEN CARLSON: Are you sure you are not suffering from some of the causes of dementia right now?

BROWN HAIRED GUY: The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that's the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish.

DAVE BRIGGS: This study does not apply?

BROWN HAIRED GUY: Does not apply to us.

[pause]

DAVE BRIGGS: Huh.

[WATCH, via Salon.com]

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Filed by Jason Linkins  |