The Obama administration began a review this month that could mean the axe for the color-coded terrorism advisories we've come to know and love. Did I say love? I meant "use as fodder to mock everyone involved with homeland security and the Bush administration," but same thing. As we will all miss the green, blue and yellow parts of the spectrum, we will not miss the orange and red sections we've been living in since 2001. That's why Jimmy Kimmel has come up with a new Web-based system of alerts to appeal to a new generation and put the fun back in fundamentalist terror.
He suggests using viral videos from YouTube: a cute baby to signal safety, Howard Dean screaming in 2000 to signal elevated threats, the woman freaking out in the airport to represent high danger, and vagina-biting dog lady to warn us against severe attacks.