Glenn Beck is an odd duck. He acts so crazy that it's hard to tell if he's the world's weirdest showman or genuinely bonkers. Either way watching him is equally mesmerizing, embarrassing and infuriating. He likes to joke about wanting people to die, and none of his bosses seem to think that's a problem. But if one of his crazypants fans (even if Beck is just putting on a show his fans are decidedly not) one day decides to follow his advice, they will regret this strategy.
"I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out -- is this wrong?" (2005)
"Every night I get down on my knees and pray that Dennis Kucinich will burst into flames." (2003)
Who says stuff like this? Even if you have a feverish mind that lacks an edit button, would you ever go on television and strategize about killing people? We have to consider that he may have been a child who hurt puppies...or dressed them up like clowns...or both.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Glenn fancies himself a comedian and recently took his show on the road. (He also fancies himself an author, but we've been over that already.) The weird part is he is hilarious, but only when trying to be serious. His stand-up is terrible, but his thoughts on Obama have me in fearful stitches. Here are some of his best moments. If we left your "favorite" out, post it in the comments section!
1) Glenn Beck Talks About Taking A Gun To The Movies: I bring popcorn and sometimes a crossword puzzle to do during previews, but talking to South Dakota Senator John Thune (R) recently, Beck mocked gun control advocates saying "I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn't kill anybody!" That is actually a surprise.
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2) Glenn Pours "Gasoline" On A Guest: Beck feels "disenfranchised" by Barack Obama, which, to him, means the president is pouring gasoline on the average American. Although the average American would probably appreciate some gasoline, this is not a metaphor a sane person would indulge in. After emptying a container full of "gas" (aka water) on Red Eye's Bill Schulz he asked, "President Obama, why don't you just set us on fire?"
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3) Glenn Beck Throws Hissy Fit That Includes The Word "Pinhead": About 3:17 in to the video, Glenn starts screaming "GET OFF MY PHONE! GET OFF MY PHONE!" and uses a voice that I thought was reserved for evil characters in 70's children's TV shows.
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4) Glenn Beck Cries At You: He does this a lot, which adds to his air of general hysteria, but in this segment he cries many many times and in an act of extreme irony, blames the media for ruining the country. He also talks to Chuck Norris and says unrelated bonkers things and talks about 9/11 a lot. Stephen Colbert's response to this may be the funniest thing ever done.
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5) Glenn Back Plays With Dolls: Last month, Beck used dolls to illustrate why the government's probe of ACORN wasn't good enough. (You what's not good enough? Glenn Beck.) The dolls seemed oddly superfluous to the point he was making, but they did distract from his words, which is always good.
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