COMEDY
08/24/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Is This The Stupidest Person Ever? (VIDEO)

We're praying, really really hard, that this is a joke, because if it's not and this person has survived as long as she has it means that we've reversed the course of evolution and have no hope as a species.

At a 2008 city council meeting the politicians and citizens of Santa Cruz were treated to testimony from a young woman who may, in fact, be the stupidest person alive. She began by explaining that food is good:

I think that we should make a perfect pesticide for the crops but it's good for people and healthy and keeps the crops preserved too because we need the food because it's food and stuff.

That, while expressed poorly, is the smartest thing she says in the video. She goes on to say:

We can be rich in cotton and mining metals and silkworms and we can makes things, we can make things cars, the machine can make it for us...on the East Coast they have slaves and they believe in slavery and made in China, but on the West Coast, the new West Coast, we don't believe in that. We believe in the union and that's what we are.

Not knowing where to begin, I'm going to start with the whole slavery thing. It's hard to know whether she is talking about Antebellum America (is the union she refers to the Union?) and actually thinks we have slaves in New York City or does she mean unions that protect workers and thinks we believe in slavery because of outsourcing? Either way, she's crazypants, but I still hope she means the latter. Also, what is the "new West Coast"?

She goes on to state her support for the Bush administration (not surprising) and talk about vegetable trees, which she may see after the hefty doses of pro-psychotics she must be on.

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