Allen Stanford Dickipedia

Dickipedia/HuffPost Comedy:

Sir Robert Allen Stanford, KCN (born March 24, 1950) is a dick financier, dick philanthropist (or, as it is sometimes referred to, "philanthrodick"), and dick sponsor of professional sports, who, throughout his illustrious career, has dicked investors out of $8 billion. Dick.

Allen Stanford is the founder, chairman, CEO, and whole owner of Stanford Financial Group, which consists of Stanford Capital Management, Stanford International Bank, Stanford Group, Stanford Trust, and Stanford Coins and Bullion. He also plays synth for new wave pop trio Stanford!

In early 2009, Allen Stanford became the subject of several financial malfeasance investigations, eventually facing civil and criminal charges in both the United States and Antigua. When a country like Antigua charges you with bank fraud and money laundering, you know you've been up to some real sketch.

On top of everything else, Allen Stanford is one of those Americans who likes to pretend to be British, like those total meat-wipes who come back from a semester in London dipping their "chips" in vinegar and listening to Radiohead. Not only is Stanford a noted cricket fan, he also holds a dual citizenship with Antigua, a country that knighted him for some reason. One imagines that reason to be a sizable cash donation to the Governor-General.

When the light hits his moustache in a certain way, Allen Stanford bears a striking resemblance to Adolph Hitler, if Hitler wore bright pink golf shirts and a $25,000 watch.

Say what you will about Allen Stanford, at least he was defrauding drug kingpins and international weapons dealers, as opposed to Nobel Peace Prize laureates, say, or Stephen Spielberg.

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Comments

[Ron Wood]

'A sizeable cash donation to the Governor-General' come on are you even a real reporter or a 'google and poster'??? Governor generals do not and cannot 'knight' people outside of the wishes of the government and/or her majesty's opposition. And before you look down your British nose on Antigua's judiciary system remember it took a amateur financial analyst Alex Dalmady half an hour to figure out what took the SEC and the US media some 7 years. How about doing some real reporting on corruption in the SEC where a 7 page report by one Markopolos sent to the SEC since 2000 exposing Madoff 's ponzi scheme was buried by the 'old boys club'. Can you say hypocrisy?

[William Young]

Standford should get a long ride just like Madoff. They lied to the people that trusted them and in a sense, their crimes deserve a stiff sentence.

[Josie Gates]

wonder what happend to teh wonder chick who was his youthful, good looking CFO...who wasnt going to talk, but then did a deal with teh feds....

corporate robbers. deserving of orange

elderly women, waiting for their green cards, not so much..

http://www.immigrationdetaineestories.wordpress.com
sorry but its all true.

http://www.josieg6.wordpress.com

[mommyatty]

Fair enough. But the next Dickipedia should be Ralph Janvey, the Receiver for Stanford's various holdings, who refuses to pay employees even of the companies not involved in the fraud but who requested 22 million in legal fees for four months work as Receiver (obviously, it is necessary to capitalize "receiver.­")

[hollyhund]

Stanford Financial Group, which consists of Stanford Capital Management, Stanford International Bank, Stanford Group, Stanford Trust, and Stanford Coins and Bullion are all here in Houston, Texas
Home to Halliburton and KBR and all other crooks!!!

[RevBookburn]

Stanford, Madoff, the worst of Wall Street, and Bush should share a cell. It would be interesting to see which role-plays being the sub first.

[Skiwee]

Or the bi.o.tch!

[CarrieAntigua]

Dear "Sir"
Was walking around your kingdom the other day, weeds growing everywhere­...plants wilting, grass on the cricket field completely burnt and dry under the blazing sun with no water, I stood there remembering the cheers and music as you paraded around the field with your arms around the jubilent West Indies winners the night of the 20/20 final with England...­rememberin­g some of the players saying into the mic how "I am gonna give over my winnings to Sir Allen to invest for me"...poor sods...Tha­t was the last big party...th­e fireworks and soca ...happy faces all around...n­obody having a clue what was to come...it still feels very creepy standing on that dry empty field...lo­oking at your buildings that so extravagantly symbolize something completely different now than when they were bulit...th­e incredible ego that went into all of it. The eagle has shat on all of us....

[Skiwee]

I feel your pain. I as well was totally appalled at the state of the gardens at VC Bird International Airport when I was there in June......­.......A really sad state of affairs.

[CarrieAntigua]

It is all starting to be felt now...peop­le are realizing the impact it (Stanford's drama)has had...comb­ined with the economics world wide this coming season is going to tell a story...I only hope it is not going to be as bad as predicted. The gardens only reflect the obvious...

[Carl Caroli]

Delusional. No worse than W, but on a smaller scale.

[Skiwee]

Antigua is one of the smaller islands in the West Indies, with a population of just over 70, 000. That's about the equivalent of small town USA.

I hope she's sent to jail for di.ck............di.ck!

[avchavis]

Yes - love seeing Sanford in that orange jumper. May it be the last suit he wears!