More

Colbert's War On Birth Control (VIDEO)

First Posted: 09/03/09 04:53 PM ET Updated: 05/25/11 02:45 PM ET

According to the Fairfax County School Board there is no difference between heroin and the pill. This is why Freesia Jackson, a 17-year-old student in Virginia, was suspended for two weeks for taking her birth control pill at lunch. Freesia seems like the perfect teen: A straight A student who excels at varsity sports, but, luckily for us, Stephen Colbert exposed her for the junkie that she is last night.


WATCH:




The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTasers



Get HuffPost Comedy On Facebook and Twitter!

FOLLOW HUFFPOST COMEDY

According to the Fairfax County School Board there is no difference between heroin and the pill. This is why Freesia Jackson, a 17-year-old student in Virginia, was suspended for two weeks for taking ...
According to the Fairfax County School Board there is no difference between heroin and the pill. This is why Freesia Jackson, a 17-year-old student in Virginia, was suspended for two weeks for taking ...
Filed by Alex Leo  | 
 
 
  • Comments
  • 71
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2 3  Next ›  Last »  (3 total)
photo
captainindustry
just a better con artist
07:30 PM on 08/05/2009
These harsh and draconian rules were not written with this beautiful student-athlete in mind.

There are other kids in the public school system. Some of them have serious problems. Some of them are easily influenced by their peers, and their peers are CONSTANTLY trying to get them hooked.

Zero Tolerence Zones weren't put in place on a whim. NO DRUGS ON CAMPUS!!! What's so hard to understand about that? Or maybe you'd like NO DRUGS ON CAMPUS!!! Except for the pretty little honor students who get special priviliges because, welllll you know...

She's not that good a diver, BTW.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Vote2bfree
06:26 PM on 08/05/2009
Swimmers take birth control pills to reculate their periods so they can control when they have them and they do not interfer with meets. This young lady is not the first I have heard of being on the pill and being a swimmer. Yeah, she may very well use it for the purpose it was invented to stop other little swimmers...but...it's her and her mother's business and not the schools.
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
cuppajava
Micro/macro/whatever
02:07 PM on 08/05/2009
The girl is a swimmer. She's a diver. She LETTERED in those sports. To be that good in those sports, she probably practices daily and competes frequently.

Her mom supports the use of birth control, apparently.

It's just so freaking obvious that she utilizes birth control pills to add some measure of control over her intensive swim practices and her swimming/diving competitions.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Poorsarah
03:11 AM on 08/05/2009
Gee, I better go hide my Bayer aspirin!!!
03:02 PM on 08/05/2009
Just say no.
photo
DrMJG
Working towards a better world
03:30 PM on 08/05/2009
In some school districts, you can be suspended for having Bayer Asprin on you!
02:58 AM on 08/05/2009
What a great kid. Her Mom has every reason to be proud of her.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
scarletxoxoxo
I was born in a ditch and I eat babies.
02:05 AM on 08/05/2009
Hot!
03:03 PM on 08/05/2009
And she know it.
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Callyson
I don't respond to haters or paid trolls.
11:54 PM on 08/04/2009
What is the Fairfax Country School District taking, anyway? Or maybe the problem is they are not taking their meds? Ridiculous--but Colbert is genius at showing how silly this whole thing is.
08:45 PM on 08/04/2009
The zero intelligence policies that are instituted by school districts across the country only serve to mark them as fools. The one drug fits all is only a dodge so they do not have to accept responsibility and do their jobs. Each case should be adjudicated by the facts and not hysteria, the same applies to drug testing.
07:13 PM on 08/04/2009
Is that particular school going to suspend diabetics when they dose up too?
10:49 PM on 08/04/2009
That's just what I was thinking. Birth control and insulin are both hormones.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JazzyJim
Nuzis stay to the Right
05:55 PM on 08/05/2009
We need an expert here. Can someone get Drug Czar Rush Limbaugh on the phone? Stat!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
indy100
06:35 PM on 08/05/2009
Probably. After all they are "hooked" and therefore junkies..........
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bluejay00234
06:56 PM on 08/04/2009
If only more teens had parents like hers, maybe we wouldn't have babies having babies at an alarming rate.
07:10 PM on 08/04/2009
And wouldn't need as many abortions either.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RachelMc
02:45 AM on 08/05/2009
u need to go look at the stats at cdc... if they are actually keeping the child then that means that cant be getting an abortions also. the teen birth rate is higher and is growing. that means the numbers that are giving birth is higher. but anyways...
06:06 PM on 08/04/2009
The people on that school board probably make it with their own relatives and sheep.
07:16 PM on 08/04/2009
Was this in South Carolina?

Does it involve school board members and horses?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JohnDylan
Student
05:45 PM on 08/04/2009
The U.S. drug parinoia is going way to far. Yesterday FOX spoke about Amsterdam as if we are run by mob gangsters because we legalised softdrugs and prostitution. Then let me ask you the following: How come less people in Amsterdam have tried drugs (22% in Amsterdam against 40% in the U.S.A.), how come less people in Holland are in jail, how come less people in Amsterdam are murderded each year (only 18 in the whole of Holland a country of 16 miljoen people)? HOW COME? FOX you have a guy calling a aspect of his program 'Reality Check' well please visit Amsterdam and you can see that it's way safer then any city in the U.S., please visit Amsterdam and you will see that legalising drugs and prostitution will make your country only safer because the country can control the use of drugs by taxing it and FOX, just shut up!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Hopster1
10:48 AM on 08/05/2009
I wholeheartedly agree. I've been to Amsterdam for the World Cup and an Art show and there is not a drug problem there. Tax and regulation of soft drugs and prostitution have only helped to CONTROL those vices and NOT embellish them as some Conservatives would like you to think.
photo
Annieke
Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
10:55 AM on 08/05/2009
Typically Fox. For them The Netherlands is the modern Sodom and Gomorra.

Meanwhile they forget to mention that we (I am Dutch as well) have less abortions than the US (relatively speaking), less teen pregnancies and indeed, less drug-related crimes and less people dying from an OD.

Never seen their program on Dutch euthanasia? Like it never happens in the US...right.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
CaliGrown78
WORLD CLASS SMART A$$
04:54 PM on 08/04/2009
That ish was hilarious!
04:22 PM on 08/04/2009
let us not forget some of the men on the supreme court think it is okay to strip search a girl for a motrin that doesn't exist!
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
BearsLeft
They were just here a minute ago...
06:37 PM on 08/04/2009
They just want to be called ahead of time so they can watch.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Danyelle79
06:44 PM on 08/04/2009
lol
06:43 PM on 08/04/2009
A 13-year-old girl!!! If memory serves, Clarence Thomas was the ONLY judge that was fine with that. I think that decision was 8-1. Big surprise there, huh?
04:19 PM on 08/04/2009
i knew girls in high school that were on the pill. all of them for problems with their periods. and that is in the 70's! they were NOT sexually active.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pittmom
07:24 PM on 08/04/2009
Sexual behavior is irrelevant in this case. The pill is used to manage periods and keeps women from having unwanted children (although you still have to talk to your teenagers about STDs). I think the school board is wrong here, but wonder why this young lady thought lunch was a good time to take the pill. Couldn't she have taken it outside of school?
techjockey
Keeping My Gratitude Higher Than My Expectations..
02:15 AM on 08/05/2009
You have to take it at the same time every day, so lunchtime was probably the the time she remembered the best.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
09:58 AM on 08/05/2009
If it bothers her stomach, taking it with food is better.