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Letters From The Jobless: "I'm Not Exactly Sure Where I Went Wrong"

First Posted: 09/21/09 01:19 PM ET Updated: 05/25/11 02:45 PM ET

Raedisco
Johnny and Rae Disco

People send me e-mails every day in response to items I've written about unemployment that ask for readers' stories. It's a simple thing: people are relieved when they see that they're not alone in the world of joblessness.

Tammara Phillips in San Diego County wrote:

My husband and I owned and operated an industrial electrical contracting business for nine years. The post 9-11 economy was not not kind to the printing industry (who comprised most of our client base). In November 2007 we had to shut the business down. I know it broke my husband's heart to close the business and take a job, but he did what he needed to do. We ultimately had to file bankruptcy to liquidate the leftover business debts that we had no way of paying off. As of now, we are about to lose our house.


I had gone back to school (while working in our business) in 2005 to finish a degree in International Relations. I graduated in May 2008 and I have been looking for a job in the international relief/humanitarian field ever since. I have sent out probably 500 resumes and volunteered at several non-profits trying to get my foot in the door somewhere, but so far no luck. I have an impressively broad skill set and many organizations would like me to come work for them, they just cant afford to pay me.

Many of the jobs in my field require a Master's degree, but I can't pay my student loans now, so I am afraid to take out more. I have been able to generate a little income with freelance writing, but as more and more people get laid off, the market is increasingly flooded with people bidding for the available work.

I never thought I'd be here, starting over with no savings and no credit at age 42. I'm not exactly sure where I went wrong...


Rae Disco in Bloomington, Ill., wrote about the importance of keeping a sense of humor:

In 2002, I graduated with a BS in Theatre. I was the first person in my family to make it to a higher degree. I also fell in love with an artist; we moved to Seattle where he got an MFA from the University of Washington in Printmaking. He finished in 2005, and we moved back to Illinois. I had been working in retail management while John got his masters, and it was after we returned that I decided to go back to school for a more fulfilling career. At the time, there were a shortage of teachers, and I began my education in education.


While I was in school, I held as many as three jobs while going to class full time. John bit the bullet and worked the low-paying retail gig for nearly 2 years while I finished school. We were scraping by. Then, in 2008, while I was student teaching, we got the news that the store where he was working, where we got our benefits and insurance, was closing. His last day of work was May 9, 2008... the same day I graduated.

Upon graduating, I launched us into what I like to call the "honeymoon period" of student loan repayment -- those 6 blissful months before the loans come due in which you assuredly know that, hey... it's all going to be fine, because I'm going to find a job! Except that job never came, and Sallie Mae calls 15-20 times a day demanding payment. Which is hard to do when you don't have an income. Sure, I could pay the $150 to put my account into forbearance for a measly six months... if I had $150. In the last year, I have applied to over 225 school districts in Illinois and around the country, and have received 3 rejection letters. The rest just never contact me. I worked as a substitute over the last school year, but the work is not reliable. I am sitting on upwards of $100K in student loan debt between the two degrees, and my husband isn't far behind. And it keeps growing; Sallie Mae capitalizes the 9.25% interest about every 10 months and adds it to the principal balance. How nice of them...

90% of our debt is educational. That really pisses me off; you're told as a naive 18 year old that college is the only way to guarantee a career. So you do whatever it takes to secure that education, which may mean unwittingly borrowing from less-than-scrupulous lenders, and upon graduation you discover that hey, that degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on and you're going to wind up working in a crappy job outside of your field anyway, and why didn't anyone tell you that diesel mechanics make three times what you owe the government after just 18 months of training as opposed to four years of classes you're never going to need, like 'Comparative Religions' and 'Carmen: Novel, Opera, Film'?!?

Currently, I keep house to keep myself sane. I bake. I got into gardening with the help of a friend who gives me free plants. This summer, when subbing ended, I couldn't even get hired on at the local Wal-Mart (over-qualified). My husband has applied everywhere, from universities seeking art professors to the local video store, and is told he's either over-qualified to work a register or under-experienced to teach. I have a thyroid condition that I largely ignore and hope stays in remission, because a trip to the endocrinologist equals about 3 months worth of groceries. I live in fear that one of us has an accident and needs the ER; we'd be sunk before we even started.

I have no idea how we squeak by. Bills for anything outside of rent and utilities are forgotten about; they can be dealt with later, because hopefully there will be jobs later. There's always hope. I think if I didn't have that hope, I'd have run in front of a bus a long time ago. When you are working, you never want to be defined by "what you do", but you never really realize how much what you do defines who you are. "I'm a teacher" sounds much better than "I sit on the couch all day Googling banana bread recipes after exhausting the want ads". You also have to keep your sense of humor about the whole thing... I actually put my second diploma on eBay for $53,000 (Sallie seems to think it's worth that much...), just to see what would happen. Unfortunately, no one bid, but I did get some words of encouragement from fellow teachers and people in the same jobless boat. If I didn't have a sense of humor about it, I'd spend most of my days crying into my pillow and drinking chain-store tequila (it's the cheapest!). It sucks, yes. Don't misconstrue the severity of the situation because I crack a few jokes... I just can't afford to do anything else right now.

HuffPost readers: Joined the ranks of the long-term unemployed? Tell us about it -- email arthur@huffingtonpost.com.

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People send me e-mails every day in response to items I've written about unemployment that ask for readers' stories. It's a simple thing: people are relieved when they see that they're not alone in th...
People send me e-mails every day in response to items I've written about unemployment that ask for readers' stories. It's a simple thing: people are relieved when they see that they're not alone in th...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nikto
08:53 PM on 08/24/2009
If the "Republican Jesus" loves war, hates the poor, rejects healthcare for all, and allies with The Rich, I'd love to see what a "Republican Automobile" would be like---3 square wheels, no motor,
windshield made of mud, steering wheel made of toothpicks, and a transmission
constructed of underdone french fries----A concept of "car" just as legitimate
as their concept of Jesus and Faith.

Not!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Badgirl
11:37 AM on 08/19/2009
The American Worker is the Consumer! The American citizen workforce is being thrown under the bus by Big US Businesses who want greater profit margins and increased Executive compensation packages! (Look at the Annual Reports of these companies to see executives pay!) By exporting jobs to heavily-populated countries in Asia, they may increase their US business profit margins over the next 5 to 10 year range. In 20 years, these "brilliant" American Business Planners will be retired and golfing in Boca Raton. And, the rest of us???
08:58 PM on 08/18/2009
Here's the problem: This present crisis was created by the Republican party & left to blow up as soon as the (inevitable) Democratic President took office. They are hoping to use it to regain their stranglehold on the American people in 2010.
The right-wing Republican party in this country represents the plutocrats, and the plutocrats don't want a middle class.
The Republican plutocracy actually are interested in smaller government, as in: A small number of the weathy controlling a vast majority of the slave class.
Problem for them is: Even though we're poor, we can still afford guns.
Yes, a left-leaning liberal just said that.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
situationcritical
SuperMegaUltraUberLiberal
05:43 PM on 08/18/2009
I realized early on that I'd have to create my own work.

My first job was working at a sportings goods store selling guns. I was 16 years old. It was Texas (go figure).

While holding out the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle it suddenly dawned on me -- these people are INSANE.

Never put my faith in employers after that.

I've had very high highs, and very low lows.

I'll just keep keeping on.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TruelyFedUp
Ethics is nothing else than reverence for life.
05:18 PM on 08/18/2009
This economic crisis is the perfect time to create a new system - google Resource Based Economy for a fascinating look at an alternate system.

Truly
04:33 PM on 08/18/2009
Thanks to these women for sharing their stories! It's very comforting.
The only way we'll make it through this grueling period is to work together, talk to one another, pool our resources and remind each other to laugh as often as possible, every day.
Gardening, cooking, nature, meditation, exercise and creative endeavours are all excellent ways to get rid of the stress of the job search, debt management, etc.
Take care of yourselves people! We're gonna pull through...
04:17 PM on 08/18/2009
The Plutocrats don't understand that the Social Contract goes both ways:

If the populace can maintain a decent existence and livelihood, - they will remain obedient. However, If they are poverty stricken, terrorized and scammed out of their land and opportunities, - this anuls the contract, - then everything goes.

Think reeeeeeal hard about that.
04:00 PM on 08/18/2009
Working-class Americans, - the smartest, most creative and innovative in the world - did NOTHING wrong. They are victims of a bait-n-switch so-called "Social Contract" and a relentless though unannounced class-war by sociopathic right-wing Plutocrats.

Americans are disturbingly obedient to the ruling class and all they asked for in return was a modest slice of the pie. The Plutocrats flipped the finger at them then used their tax dollars to create wars so that they could exploit labor in other countries. The past 30 years has been a povericide, - a systematic and intentional extermination of the middle class.

They shouldn't be depressed, - the should be PISSED!!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
706makeupgirl
02:52 PM on 08/18/2009
The second story really hit me. I have 3 children who are college age. I was very clear. No student loans. And I was not willing to put our home up for their education. They have managed with Junior college.

Even when I graduated from college, I had a pell grant, only 5 to 7 % of the grads were able to find employment in there college fields. College is important, but not $100K important.

Here is deal. Children who would like to go to college should have a solid plan. What are they going to to with their education? Find what makes you happy and see if that can connect to who is really making a living, a decent living.

In my case it was landing a Union job. At least you have a chance at a middle class life.
There is a lot of nay-saying about Union jobs. But you are protected from employers mistreatment.

Health insurance, pension and a living wage is the American way.
03:37 PM on 08/18/2009
Good advice to your kids about having a solid plan for a marketable skill. I do hope you're paying for the community college, though.

For me, my plan is to not have any more children after my daughter and be able to pay for her college out of pocket without having school loans over her head when she does graduate (something my wife wasn't so lucky with). Again as you say - not $100k though.

As for Unions, they're the best thing that ever happened to my Dad's career as he worked at the Ford Plant under the UAW. Once it closed he was able to keep his health insurance as a buyout, too, which made working at a lower income job much more bearable (my reason for wanting Single Payer).

Lastly, I don't feel (too) bad for the people in the second story. You can't expect to get a MFA in Printmaking or a BS in Theater and expect to have the hot ticket to riches or middle class, even. I'm a Graphic Designer but I couldn't understand how other students could choose Drawing or Art History and expect to have a high paying job straight out of school.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dreamwalker420
02:32 PM on 08/18/2009
Here's where you went wrong:

Stop thinking that you have to get a job to live. You don't need debt. You don't need anything other than your own determination to be responsible for your future.
04:09 PM on 08/18/2009
I've propped "Atlas Shrugged" as a shim under my garage door.

After all these years, I've finally found a suitable use for that book.
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JBS
Part time misanthrope & full time curmudgeon
04:30 PM on 08/18/2009
You could always get yourself a canary and a bird cage.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
04:37 PM on 08/18/2009
Well, that and the ability to live in your parents basement.
01:36 PM on 08/18/2009
After reading the post and the following comments. I felt compelled to respond. Although many of us have our own unemployment horror story, we cannot blame any political party or one person. We mustn't forget that ours is a purely capitalist society built on free (i.e. slavery) or as close to free labor (i.e. indentured servitude) as it can get. American employees are just too darned expensive. We like our labor cheap and our products even cheaper. As much as I hate myself I am always quick to run to the Walmart. There are no easy answers. Brace yourselves! Me thinks things are gonna get worse. :-)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mjtaylor22
04:54 PM on 08/18/2009
THE SUPPORTERS OF FREE MARKETS WITH NO REGUALTION TO AVOID FRAUD, lack of enforcement of our regulations, and allowing too big to fail
and compelte inept govt planning to keep our economy strong.
these bumbs in govt outsourced everything and bought intothe repugnant ideology.
some got rich while the rest of us got jobless
or just less of everything.
i know who i blame, the ranting right and the cowering dems.
10:33 AM on 08/18/2009
The most pressing issue is why we, the American people, were fooled into thinking Obama would create more jobs.
hat tip to http://www.iamned.com
01:17 PM on 08/18/2009
You were actually fooled into thinking Bush's policies would not bankrupt your country. You were wrong.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
706makeupgirl
02:37 PM on 08/18/2009
Do you really think that Mc Cain had a better plan? The current prez has only been in office for 8 months. Jeez.
It took Bu.s. h 8 years to drag us thourgh the mud.
Give the current administration a chance.
10:07 AM on 08/18/2009
Here's (y)our problem:

Purchasing cheaper consumer goods from overseas that rely upon gov't subsidies and/or subsistent wages/conditions and/or unfair trade practices. Importers and investors traded our industrial and technology bases away for their own profit - then into global "derivatives". Hope you enjoyed their cheap trinkets.

Of course, edubiz (now a larger lobbyist than labor) insists we can matriculate our way to the top of the globalization heap.

T'ain't workin' for most of us.
09:14 AM on 08/18/2009
Socialism = free health care and free education. One can study in Sweden and receive a masters degree and a stipend for living at no cost. Two masters degrees even...Taxes are high, but people are happy.

What's stopping us?
09:32 AM on 08/18/2009
Capitalism?
01:07 PM on 08/18/2009
You are hell bent on supporting your rich at all cost.
07:47 AM on 08/18/2009
It began with Reagan for me. Because he cut funding to higher education. Which meant to go to school you had to get a student loan. I still have a student loan that I can't pay off. They made it impossible to get rid of a student loan, it just keeps adding up. I started out at 13,000 now it's 21,000. I've never been able to pay on it.
11:13 AM on 08/18/2009
Dumbed down people who don't understand much tend to follow leaders who count on their lack of education. raygun did start the trend, and now the only followers of those wacky leaders are teabaggers, birthers and deathers (oh, yea, their corporated masters, too). Where will it end? When no one can pay for their education, no one will be educated. Thus more people for the "right".