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Glenn Beck Tells Viewers That He Is A Clown Who Needs "Walls And Gates"

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Are we going to have another instance of Glenn Beck's famous fake tears? I think so! Maybe by week's end! Beck's raw emotions are building in some direction, so that's why, via Media Monitor Jon (of News1News fame) we have your daily update of Beck's escalating melodramatic pressure!

Today was really sort of beautiful, like a swan!

[WATCH]

BECK: [long Pinterian pause] You know... I... I'd really like to share with you a personal story from today, but I can't, because it puts my family in danger. (1) Do you think I want to get on the air every night and tell you this stuff? (2) Do you know who I am? The media will say "he's just a clown." Well you know what, I am a clown. (3) I am a guy who just... I -- I -- I -- I... I just want to have laughs and fun, I'm a capitalist, I want to make money, all that stuff. (4) I want to live my life with my family. I don't want to have to live with security, and walls, and gates, and everything else. Do you think I want to live that way? (5) Maybe there are some people like that. That ain't me. That is not me. I don't want to believe these things, but unfortunately I find them true. (6)

(1) - This from the person who overshared his butt surgery? If that didn't put Beck's family in danger -- of abject humiliation-- it's hard to know what would! But seriously, let me state for the record that I am pro-Beck and his family living long and happy lives, OK?

(2) - Naturally, I had been assuming that Glenn Beck wants to get on the air every night and tell us this stuff because he is under no obligation to continue doing so if he doesn't want to. He could retire and take up watercolors, if he so desired.

(3) - It sort of undercuts your "the media is mean to me" argument when you confirm their criticisms in the very next breath.

(4) - I think, Glenn, you are succeeding in this endeavor! You are making money, being a capitalist, and offering me fun and laughs! We're all winners here.

(5) - Again, I had naturally assumed that he wanted to live in a large, secluded house because he made the choice to do so himself.

(6) - Well played, you silver-tongued devil! That you "find" such typically crazy things to be true allows you to assert all sorts of crazy things!

At any rate, I've got a sawbuck on this clown hitting the full Pagliacci by Friday.

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