Why Parents May Cause Gender Differences In Kids

newsweek.com:

Among certain parents, it is an article of faith not only that they should treat their sons and daughters alike, but also that they do. If Jack gets Lincoln Logs and Tetris, and joins the soccer team and the math club, so does Jill. Lise Eliot, a neuroscientist at Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science, doesn't think these parents are lying, exactly. But she would like to bring some studies to their attention.

Read the whole story: newsweek.com

Comments

[kansasmagic]

"Those differences also arise from gender conformity. You often see the claim that toy preferences—trucks or dolls—appear so early, they must be innate. But as Eliot points out, 6- and 12-month-olds of both sexes prefer dolls to trucks, according to a host of studies. Children settle into sex-based play preferences only around age 1, which is when they grasp which sex they are, identify strongly with it, and conform to how they see other, usually older, boys or girls behaving. "Preschoolers are already aware of what's acceptable to their peers and what's not," writes Eliot. Those play preferences then snowball, producing brains with different talents."

Interesting choice of words - "preferences." Loaded with meaning. Reminds me of an interview I heard from Dr. Drew (of LoveLine fame), who asserted that boys and girls have innate gender differences because when he first took his kids to Toys R' Us, his son went straight for the GI Joes and his daughter went straight for the Barbies. I immediately thought that, barring the very slight possibility that he raised his kids in complete isolation from anyone or anything that could influence their gender identification in any way, this probably had more to do with their socialization than inherent differences. At any rate, not a very significant sample or a well-designed experiment! But since he's a doctor, with a radio show no less, he must be right... right?

[Imago]

I hope this book hits the best seller lists everywhere.

Until we break this process, we are trapped in old power structures, old belief systems, old crap about what makes male and female and what we value about that.

[rivergirl301]

I tried not to force gender stereotypes on my kids. I gave my daughter a play tool set. She made the hammer and wrench have a relationship. I gave my son a Barbie. He used her as a projectile missile.

[kansasmagic]

At least the toys themselves don't have inherent gender characteristics.

So far my son (6 mo.) mostly just tries to eat everything. I'm sure he'd be equally interested in eating a plastic wrench or a barbie doll.

[Pippen]

I'll never forget the story my girl friend told about her lil boy when he was very small.

Her little boy was overjoyed that he had met someone special and wanted to tell his mom. So when they reached the car my girlfriend asked, "...did you meet a new friend today ?..." And her son exclaimed excitedly, "...oh yes ! I met a little boy who was very beautfiul. He was so sweet and friendly...."

Amazed at his replies and curious why he would describe a little boy as beautiful she went on to ask,'....so what was so beautiful about this new friend ?...."

He replied,'.....he was A CHOCOLATE boy mom !! And you know how much I love chocolate...."!!

Children have their way of seeing the world without our help. And often times it's a better view. If we'll just get out of the way and be more observant rather than the window pane of their sight.

[Pippen]

Very interesting. I don't have children but if I did this book would be a must read.

I already knew about the reaction disparity from fawning adults with male and female infants.

How many times have you been in a grocery store and witnessed a stranger make a comment about an infant, "....isn't she cute, how old is she...'" and the mother replies, "....he's a boy and he's 8 months.." Followed by the mother explaining to her friend "...thats why we dress him in blue..."

Mothers want the distinction so they don't get embarrassed or feel ill at ease about gender mistakes with strangers. This could probably be the source of several aspects of identity gaps. Fathers are probably just as guilty though I don't see or hear of them.

Can you imagine the chasm of difference for children other than anglo or white babies ?