Dickipedia: Tyra Banks

11/16/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Tyra Lynne Banks (born December 4, 1973) is a model turned mogul, a self-avowed "real" woman who nonetheless wears fake hair, and a dick. Granted, she is a very beautiful, very tall dick, but a dick nonetheless.

Tyra first made her mark as a supermodel, although it is unclear exactly how a model earns the honorific "super." They don't really do anything except look pouty and vomit. Oh, and every once in a while, there's a boob slip. Seems like anyone could be super at that.

Tyra is the creator, host, and head judge of "America's Next Top Model," a reality show that tortures then photographs a panel of young women competing for a chance to be tortured professionally. She co-created "True Beauty," a show that judges inner beauty, with Ashton Kutcher, a noted expert on the subject. Tyra also hosts her own talk show, runs her own company, and even recorded her own album, T.Y.R.A (the acronym stands for "Tight Yet Round Ass), which was predictably terrible.

The self-appointed voice of "real" women, Tyra bids her followers to "Rock what you got!" Of course, that's easy for her to say, considering she's got 34-28-40 measurements, a whole team of hair and makeup artists, and Karl Lagerfeld personally designing her clothes.

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