Dickipedia: Tyra Banks

Dickipedia/HuffPost Comedy:

Tyra Lynne Banks (born December 4, 1973) is a model turned mogul, a self-avowed "real" woman who nonetheless wears fake hair, and a dick. Granted, she is a very beautiful, very tall dick, but a dick nonetheless.

Tyra first made her mark as a supermodel, although it is unclear exactly how a model earns the honorific "super." They don't really do anything except look pouty and vomit. Oh, and every once in a while, there's a boob slip. Seems like anyone could be super at that.

Tyra is the creator, host, and head judge of "America's Next Top Model," a reality show that tortures then photographs a panel of young women competing for a chance to be tortured professionally. She co-created "True Beauty," a show that judges inner beauty, with Ashton Kutcher, a noted expert on the subject. Tyra also hosts her own talk show, runs her own company, and even recorded her own album, T.Y.R.A (the acronym stands for "Tight Yet Round Ass), which was predictably terrible.

The self-appointed voice of "real" women, Tyra bids her followers to "Rock what you got!" Of course, that's easy for her to say, considering she's got 34-28-40 measurements, a whole team of hair and makeup artists, and Karl Lagerfeld personally designing her clothes.

Read the whole story: Dickipedia/HuffPost Comedy

Comments

[SassySafrine]

03:36 PM on 09/18/2009

Tyra is hawt, smart, and accomplished. If that makes her a dick, good for her.

You go, girl!

[outsidein]

04:49 PM on 09/17/2009

If anyone's ever seen a show of hers (my sister sadly watches it) it's the most objectifying, backward, and ridiculous thing on TV. She's Maury insisting that she be treated as the next Oprah. I agree with this definition and am glad to see there's more out there that realize that Cosmo-style uplifting will not help women.

Her success may be exemplary but her attitude and the beliefs that she presents in her talk show are far from it.

[bigmamarosycheeks]

01:21 PM on 09/17/2009

The thing is, whoever chose to place her in this Dikipedia spotlight deserves it him or herself. It wouldn't appear to me that she has done anything to be there besides be a woman who is seriously ambitious and utilizes many of her assets to success. Does this make her a dick?

[glockman]

01:09 PM on 09/17/2009

Jealousy is very unbecoming, and destructive.

[helpusa]

12:01 PM on 09/17/2009

I forced myself to read to whole story trying to find something that would make me think that Tyra deserves being in the Dickipedia, which is often correct. I know she has shown a temper especially when she was criticized for being overweight at one point, but really this is unfair.

[GabrielXL]

11:31 AM on 09/17/2009

Dude... This is lame! X^P

[seedoubleyou]

10:51 AM on 09/17/2009

Bizarre article. I'm not crazy about Banks but she in no way deserves this bitter and mean diatribe.

[miamia]

10:18 AM on 09/17/2009

haters...

[mdceg1]

09:16 AM on 09/17/2009

And we all know that there are TON of Black women with natural hairdos working in Hollywood, right?

The reality is that if she didn't have "fake hair," she would never have had the opportunity to be a model, because the modeling industry discriminates against Black women who present themselves as "real," just as the office place does, and every other public, White-dominated arena in the Western World.

Charles E Griggs Jr.
STL. Louis, MO

[ItHadToBeSaid]

10:10 AM on 09/17/2009

You make a great point. Tyra's natural hair looks just fine, but I always support a sistah's right to choose natural or 'enhanced.' But the Hollywood factor is a good one to consider. I believe actress S. Epatha Merkerson, the B/ack female Police Lieutenant on Law and Order, has dreadlocks, but wears a wig for her TV role.

[GabrielXL]

11:27 AM on 09/17/2009

While there is truth in your comment, I think you're forgetting about Whoopi Goldberg (in some of her works), Angela Bassett, Beyonce, Jada Pinkett-Smith and others who rock their own hair in whatever style they see fit. Of course, if we're going to talk about discrimination in Hollywood, I'm sure we could go down the list of discriminatory practices that include race, ethnicity, age, gender, et al. As far as modeling goes, have you heard of Alek Wek, Veronica Webb or Grace Jones? Their race and ethnicity didn't seem to hurt them any. Now by no means am I trying to throw the modeling world a bone on this issue, it's just that "sweeping indictments" do a disservice to everyone and to make it sound as if the modeling world immediately dismisses a woman of color's ethnicity isn't really factual. Their prevalence may not be what we'd like it to be, but that may have just as much to do with the lack of focus and therefore opportunity or models [with the "it" factor] available. Last but not least, in the fickle world of modeling a person of any race, creed, color or ethnicity is always sitting on the threshold of "here today, gone tomorrow", without us ever getting the chance to see who they are or what they could be.

[ItHadToBeSaid]

12:10 PM on 09/17/2009

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-michelle-anderson/whites-only-designers-rea_b_184917.html

[Just Margaret]

08:56 AM on 09/17/2009

I often enjoy the "dickipedia" entries, but I must say that this one is lacking.

As in, lacking reference to any "dickish" behavior. Was it posted before being complete? Am I missing something? She's a supermodel, yes. She's got tv shows, yes.

[Kissedbyfire]

09:17 AM on 09/17/2009

I was wondering the same thing. What has she done that was dickish? I don't get it.

[GabrielXL]

11:30 AM on 09/17/2009

Maybe the writer just hates women? *Hahahaha*

[rabid dog]

08:38 AM on 09/17/2009

Jealousy is ugly on anyone, even if one's view of you is obscured by the keyboard and monitor in front of you …

[sasha34]

06:12 AM on 09/17/2009

Leave Tyra alone all this woman has down is work hard to achieve what she has today. Someone has a problem with strong, intelligent , beautiful women? HP should be as.ham.ed to put this up.

[Sirdi]

07:15 AM on 09/17/2009

Intelligent? Beautiful? Well, those two are up for debate wouldn't you say? Strong; ok I'll grant you that. For whatever it's worth.

[ladycubsfan]

05:35 AM on 09/17/2009

Wow. Who wrote this and what did Tyra do to piss him/her off? And, for that matter, what did John Walsh do to deserve being labeled a "butt-wad?" The man lost his son, for Christ's sake!

[gene poole]

09:29 AM on 09/17/2009

Sometime bad things happen to butt wads. Tragic, unspeakable things. John Walsh is one such case. And that is not just a knock on his politics.

[seachild]

04:40 AM on 09/17/2009

Tyra must have turned down the 'dick or jane' who wrote this.

[bernusdellus]

04:20 AM on 09/17/2009

Ditto on the poor grammar. However, I think that anyone prepared to stuff a silicon bag under the skin on their chest in a misguided attempt to appear sexier, has issues that probably preclude her [or even him] from being a nice, relaxed, well-balanced person to be around.

Message to my fellow males: Ever held one [silicon loaded chest]? If you haven't I suggest you refrain and keep your illusions intact.

[Sirdi]

07:19 AM on 09/17/2009

Oh, I'm sure after 40+ years of fake b o o b s , you have to give the human race a heads-up.

Thanks. Saved the rest of us a lot of wasted time. I guess.

[Kissedbyfire]

09:21 AM on 09/17/2009

Wow, that's awfully judgmental! Women get breast implants for all kinds of reasons and saying all of them are not "nice, relaxed, well-balanced" is ludicrous. Geez-louise.

[bernusdellus]

05:01 PM on 09/17/2009

I guess you missed the part where I clearly stated...

"in a misguided attempt to appear sexier"

That's only one reason out of the "all kinds of reasons" you correctly mention. :-)