Colbert: The Toilet Paper Battle Escalates To "World War 3-Ply" (VIDEO)

Wednesday night on The Colbert Report, Colbert joked about rectal splinters and using the next softest thing - a spotted owl - if environmentalists win the war against toilet paper. Check out this hilarious video highlighting some of the environmentalists' main arguments - apparently, the best TP is made of wood from ancient trees, and anything quilted is to the paper industry what a hummer is to the car industry.

WATCH:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
ThreatDown - Environmentalists, Kang Lee & Mountain Pine Beetles
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Comments

[Ashanya Indralingam]

Make like the French and use bidets! Or follow the way of the Samurai and get one of those super high-tech Japanese toilets that wash, powder and hum soft lullabies to your behind.

Sheryl Crow lost all my respect when she decided to champion this potty cause-- http://www.newsy.com/videos/how_to_handle_the_wiping_effects

But seriously, is nothing sacred anymore? Eco-Nazis need to stay out of my bathroom! My 'business' is my business (pun intended)! What next-- policing contraception methods in the bedroom?

[KIVPossum]

The spotted owl approach has merits. They're recyclable, just toss 'em in the washing machine after use.

[robbyJ]

Pine Beatles are a huge problem.

praise the Colbert, that is all

[Freedom of Logic]

lol spotted owls.