Conservative Bible Project Cuts Out Liberal Passages

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That's the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it's the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: "Lack of precision in the original language ... lack of precision in modern language" and "translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one."

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Among the words to be eliminated: "government." A conservative columnist at Beliefnet described the effort as "just crazy ... like what you'd get if you crossed the Jesus Seminar with the College Republican chapter at a rural institution of Bible learnin'."

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Comments

[Pigasus]

The truth finally comes out. We all know Jesus wasn't some bearded, sandal wearing hippy spreading a message of Peace and Love The real Jesus has been uncovered. After deciphering ancient texts, scrolls, eyewitness accounts, and consultation with several prominent conservative religious leaders, here is the first pic of what Jesus REALLY looked like.
http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20315920_20316245,00.html

[marlena21]

Maybe someone told them that Yahweh--(aka YHVH, Yah, Ea, and Yahu ) was the son of El, the brother of Baal and had a consort name Asherah, whose name means "Tree of Life". He was the god of desert storms, the sea and underground water. He and Baal competed for power. The four letters, YHVH, each represent a distinct aspect of Deity: Y (Yod) representing Deity as Father; H (Heh) representing Deity as Mother; V (Vau) representing Deity as Son; and the second H (Heh) representing Deity as Daughter.

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[Barbara Pineiro]

Revelation 22:18-19 For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things. God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book. and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy , God sh...all take away his part from the Book of Life from the holy city and from the things which are written in this book.

[MKVesole]

Don't worry. I am publishing a book that makes the bible much more liberal (if anyone will publish it).

[SILVANUS]

I hate to disappoint them, but I have travelled into the far future and discovered that after PlunderMore, Inc. destroyed almost everything and everyone one planet, a lost generation of barely literate, feral kids discovered one remaining book they could read called "Carrie" by Stephen King. In the future, everyone worships Carrie White and how she died because of the tormentors at the Prom. And how she overcame the Devil... her Mother.

[lemealone]

Sounds awesome, can't wait for the movie!

[empiricalWeb]

darn! I thought for sure the ferel kids would find the Matrix trilogy and we'd all be worshiping keanu.

[Dana Mikkelsen]

Wow! This is just another example of how extreme the right-wing has gotten to combat the normalization of our political thought process.

[WTxIndependent]

I'm sure the authors of the bible had modern american politics in mind when they wrote their little stories

[AlaninElkGrove]

I remember, not long ago, an effort to cleanse the Bible of passages that reflected ideals that were of modern conservative values.

The Bible remained unchanged.­..

[SILVANUS]

I wil reissue "The Book of Potatohead­."

[Mark Reilly]

Regarding who is conservative and who is liberal in the Bible, this project has renamed the Pharisees as "intellectuals" and then "the Self-Proclaimed Elite" - with the full blessing of the project's visionary.­.. A further commentator suggest they stop beating around the bush and just rewrite "Pharisees" as "liberals.­" Nothing like having God in the flesh denouncing your idealogical opponents! Just check out the bottom of this page...

http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk%3AGospel_of_Mark_%28Translated%29&diff=707971&oldid=707104

[NoPartyFan]

Maybe someone told them that Yahweh--(aka YHVH, Yah, Ea, and Yahu ) was the son of El, the brother of Baal and had a consort name Asherah, whose name means "Tree of Life". He was the god of desert storms, the sea and underground water. He and Baal competed for power. The four letters, YHVH, each represent a distinct aspect of Deity: Y (Yod) representing Deity as Father; H (Heh) representing Deity as Mother; V (Vau) representing Deity as Son; and the second H (Heh) representing Deity as Daughter.

Yahweh later became Jehovah due to Martin Luther's translation of letters for I and J.

I doubt if this is the God that the piney woods and prairie Christians thought they were worshiping. It conflicts with their ideas about the Trinity and monotheism.

[RobinL]

Let me guess----they had to cut out ALL the teachings of Jesus! Sorry Christians---that man was NOT a Conservative---the people who worked to kill him (the Sanhedrin) were. Not just "the Jews"---among whom were his apostles and original followers. Oh no. It was the uptight, fundamental, Orthodox, Conservative Jews. Following that pattern, I do believe you Fundamentalists would be the first to string him up if he came back again the way you prophesize. (sp?)

[hrholmes]

Bible re-writes with no ancient dead language skills!? That would make it a copy of a copy of a copy many times over. Well you can’t blame them since some of the material was written some 3,000 years ago by wandering desert nomads none of which were white people and they claimed to actually talk to gawd. Some fishermen got in a few passages also too but then we have no record of how much beer they consumed before they put their ramblings on papyrus now do we? Where did those ancients get writing materials in the first place since it pre dated Staples? Achmed’s Used Camel Lot? Will they include the C Street Pyramid in the moon with Jebus? They need to contact Sarah Palin, she could do the job in a few weeks you betcha also too.

[southdakotajack]

This project will be more fun to watch than a barrel full of monkeys. Actually, it will be a barrel full of monkeys. Assume there are over 100 issues to be resolved. If they lose 1% of the project's original membership per issue resolved, these monkeys will have no product.

The public is generally unaware of the history of the selection of the books of the bible. Most Christians do not know the "Christian" manuscripts that were available and used by early Christians before there was a bible, the lack of criteria to select the books of the first "bible", the eventual endorsement of that selection as The Bible (minus the "Book of John's Revelation"), and the later addition of the "Book of John's Revelation" to the Bible. For most, the Bible began with the King James Version, completed 1611 by the Church of England.

If this project's monkeys look into the origin of the modern Bibles as part of their project to make the Bible more politically conservative, I expect that some of will become atheists.

Sure hope they publish progress reports. Should be a real hoot. I expect some murders among them, as there were in the early days in the attempt to standardize Christian religion. Upps! Did I just write "early days"? Catholics and Protestants still like to whack each other, in God's name.

[hrholmes]

actually the mokeys will be flyin out of their butts. video at 11.

[Poorsarah]

Clergy have come to the conclusion that they can pick and choose which parts of the Bible they want to keepand which parts they want to pretend aren't in it? Are these gurus clergy or clowns?

[PrickliestPear]

This is an amateur project. Most of the people involved have no knowledge of the original languages.

[JudgeMoonbox]

"Clergy have come to the conclusion that they can pick and choose which parts of the Bible they want to keepand which parts they want to pretend aren't in it?"

Everybody does. The difference is, who picks and chooses the passages that are most central to Christ's message, and who picks and chooses those obscure verses that ratify their human hatreds.