The Most Inappropriate Halloween Costumes Possible (PHOTOS)
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With Halloween a mere two weeks away you may be scrambling, having remembered that you don't yet have a costume and every store in your neighborhood has already been plundered. Just remember, no matter how bad you may feel about whatever you come up with, as long as you're not dressed in one of the costumes below, you're all set.
PS -- If we missed any you know of, shoot us an email with the link!
Children's "Pimp" Costume
That's right, kids. Put on this velour catastrophe, grab your pimp cane and go put some bitches to work!
"Elton Jon Benet" Costume
What's creepy, offensive, pun-y and completely random? This Halloween disaster.
Sexy "Nemo" Costume
When you were watching "Finding Nemo," didn't you just say to yourself, "Wow, if only he was a hot girl instead of a fish!" Dreams do come true! (From <a href="http://www.yandy.com/Finding-Clownfish.php">Yandy.com</a>)
No more beer for this guy.
"Anna Rexia" Costume
I didn't know that eating disorders were sexy AND hilarious.
"Down For The Count"
People always say that Halloween is an excuse for women to dress like sluts, but from everything we've seen this holiday is an equal opportunity catastrophe. How would explain this costume to your mother, daughter, sister, friends, uncles, bus driver, or mailman? (Thanks for the tip, Jay!)
"Suicide Bomber" Children's Costume
While the other children in this slideshow are paid models for costume sites, this one is not, so we decided to block his face. Suffice to say, he had a creepy look of unadulterated joy on his face leading us to believe his parents are the worst people ever.
"The Shocker" Costume
If you wear this costume you MUST go around all night doing the shocker with both hands just to get the point across that you're a complete douche.
Side note: Those shots he's carrying are totally roofied.
"Rasta Man" Costumes
I wonder how many white frat boys will put on this cartoonish representation of a Rasta? At least the squishy headpiece will soften the blows they will undoubtedly receive.
"Wet T-Shirt" Costume
Is it more degrading to wear this ridiculous shirt with boobs attached, or to just wear a wet, white T-shirt and risk getting on Girls Gone Wild?
"Anita Valium" Costume
When you're wearing a sexy costume to a Halloween party, it's probably a good idea to stay away from sedatives and not bring your own restraints.
"Cell Phone" Costume
Anyone want this guy's number? Didn't think so.
"Leopard Diva" Children's Costume
That's right moms, teach her early on what non-specific "Divas" dress like.
"Zombie Fetus" Costume
When you decide to pull off an extremely creepy costume, it's best to let your attitude match it. Yeah, it's a dead baby but she's cool with it.
"Dept. Of Erections" Costume
When I think Halloween, my mind always goes straight to "Prison Rape"
"Rabbi" Dog's Costume
I'm not sure what social commentary this is trying to say, if any, but somehow it's more offensive because of the little dog.
Children's "Rapper" Costume
Eminem? Run DMC? L.L. Cool J? No, it's billy from down the street looking like a jackass. Sweet tats, though!
"Sperm Man" Costume
I don't get it. What's his superpower? The ability to impregnate women or carry STDs? He didn't need a costume to do that.
Jane Doe DOA
This description speaks for itself (full of typos): "Although she doesnt have much of a personality, she is still drop dead gorgeous in this body bag dress, Im sure you have the personality and in this you will be gorgeous. Stretch satin mini dress with hood and a two way zipper front which can zip all the way up the hood, this is sleeveless and has a vest style finish at the back. One breast has an outline of a body printed on to it an PROPERTY OF THE CORONER. Pack includes Coroners name tag fitted to a choker Jane Doe and matching fingerless gloves. (3 piece set). Fabrics are listed as 95% polyester and 5% spandex. and other accessories are available separately." (Thanks, Belinda!)
The "Biggest Show On Earth"
Nothing says class like wearing a circus tent on your dick. (Thanks for the tip, Karen!)
A Knight To Remember
If you wear this, it's the closest you'll come to seeing one that night.
The world's biggest fan of the band Aqua. (via <a href="http://i.imgur.com/7mKEu.jpg" target="_hplink">Reddit</a>)
We've seen homemade Hitler costumes before (which are also ridiculous) but this commercial version just blows us away. (Via <a href="http://dailyhitler.blogspot.com/2009/10/hitler-costume.html" target="_hplink">Daily Hitler</a>)
Of all the costumes that scream "I have a penis!" this has got to be the most frightening. (<a href="http://www.halloween31.com/pages-productinfo-category-6_298-product-4908/adult-costumesx-rated-adult-onlybanana-flasher-adult-funny-costume.html" target="_hplink">Via Halloween 31</a>)
Who's worse: The inventors of this costume, or the parents of the girl modeling it? (via <a href="http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/09/29/and-the-most-sexist-halloween-costume-award-goes-to%E2%80%A6/" target="_hplink">Ms. Magazine</a>)
Sexy School Puppy
This is just wrong. (thanks Jane!)
Sexy American Indian
The subtext is that this is actually a statement against sexist <i>and</i> racist Halloween costumes. (via <a href="http://www.buy.com/prod/sexy-making-reservations-indian-costume-native-american-indian-costumes/q/sellerid/14960765/loc/64935/217030375.html" target="_hplink">Buy.com</a>)
I think even the baby understands how offensive this is. (via <a href="http://www.costumecraze.com/BABY180.html?c=cj,BABY180?c=cj" target="_hplink">CostumeCraze.com</a>)
Just in case you want to dress up as "WTF" this Halloween. (via <a href="http://www.unionversity.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/worst-halloween-costume-ever1.jpg" target="_hplink">Unionversity.com</a>)
Slutty Cookie Monster?
There are some things that just should never be made into a "sexy" Halloween costume. Cookie Monster is definitely one of them. (Via <a href="http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-09-13/slutty-cookie-monster-costume-raises-numerous-male-fantasy-questions/" target="_hplink">Best Week Ever</a>)
Just like our bestiality friend above, this costume relies on the belief that having sex with a sheep is hilarious. And again - the commercial version is so much more disturbing than the homemade version. (Via <a href="http://www.halloween31.com/pages-productinfo-category-6_74-product-1514/adult-costumesfunny-wild-and-wackycountry-lovin-costume.html" target="_hplink">Halloween 31</a>)
We're not exactly sure what a "rapsta" is but we're pretty sure kids shouldn't dress up as one. (via <a href="http://trueslant.com/daviddisalvo/2009/10/29/kids-halloween-costumes-gone-wrong-expose-big-contradictions/" target="_hplink">Trueslant.com</a>)
Even without being the Son of God, a child with a beard of irredeemably creepy. (via <a href="http://www.buycostumes.com/Jesus-Child-Costume/70124/ProductDetail.aspx?REF=AFC-datafeed&AID=10273928&PID=1758739&SID=blog+top+10+worst+kids+halloween+costumes+jesus+costume" target="_hplink">BuyCostumes.com</a>)
WHY? (Thanks Samantha! <a href="http://www.mycheapcostume.com/" target="_hplink">Via</a>)
"Rub Me" Genie
His name might as well be Alad-don't (Thank Jennifer! <a href="http://www.mycheapcostume.com/pages-productinfo-category-28_75-product-5268/adult-costumesfunny-humorousgenie-in-the-lamp-adult-costume.html" target="_hplink">Via</a>)