What Happens When You Lose A Soul Mate?

divinecaroline.com:

She walked to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and paused, like always, gazing at the faded photo framed in the hallway. It had been twenty years and still she ached. She lived that day again and again.

Read the whole story: divinecaroline.com

Comments

[GrainOSand]

A process of death and rebirth occurs, for which there is no time limit (in answer to the question).

[Pippen]

I agree with Gnrshrtd above, its a fracture in the heart that may never heal so you just do the best you can. A loss like this can knock the wind out of anyone. I lost my love of ten years. I was broken. Every feeling in me just vaporized. I felt like the Undead. Not alive and not dead. For three years I just blankly went through the motions of my life. Never wanting to be reminded of "..us.." It hurt too much.

I finally got some help. Not by choice. I thought I was having a heartattack and went through the gauntlet of medical tests and labs to find out I had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Yippee. Nice twist to the trajedy.

It shook me enough that I decided to find out if the guy I was years ago was still alive and breathing inside somewhere and started dating again. I was successful. I opened my heart and stopped dating the beauties and instead went for a spiritual match. I found a fixer upper or she found me so now we are together 2 years and we're both fixing each other. And I'm happy.

I'll never lose the feeling of my lost love but there's more to me than just one love one life and I want more and I'm getting it. Hope all of you do the same. Go get some more.

[Gnrshrtd]

My Dad and I talk about this. By coincidence we were both widowed about 15 years ago. After the trauma eased we both dated a little, but nothing worked long term.

My take? Accept that people are different, react differently, and have different needs. And the unfolding of their lives after a heart-breaking tragedy may vary widely. This perspective works for me.

People who have experienced this understand, each in their own way.

People who have not experienced this simply have no credibility to me, with their advice that "it's time to move on". It is ignorant, arrogant and condescending. I take comfort in that it is usually well-intended, and I see no point in confronting such people when they have no context in which to frame my point. I can keep my opinions to myself, why insult them?

And I am among the first to join in celebrating the new romances of people who have been widowed - I wish them every joy.

[joelaf]

You took the words right out of my mouth. Bravo.

[fcsakes]

The term "soul mate" really turns me off. Love is love and to lose someone you love is hard, so hard.

A day always comes though, sometimes soon sometimes later, when you realize that the one who loved you would never have wanted you to suffer or to wait for a moment that would never happen in exactly the same way again.

There are many moments, use them all in celebration and in joy. Give thanks to the one who gave you so much, speak to him and let him go. So easy to say, so hard to do.

[RToomster]

I agree with Sasha - Live every day like it's your last. You never know when it might be....

[bijoux419]

What a sad story. That is something I hope I never go through.

[gardengranny]

Sorry to be the lone wet blanket on this story.

This is truly bad writing. What is it with HuffPo?

I guess if someone is a fan of romance novels or short stories of the same kind, this is interesting and moving.

OTH...

[Allibird]

I think this is sad, but not for sentimental reasons. Yes, death is tragic, but what's more tragic is to throw away your life and never again open yourself up to love. We all get multiple chances, and it's too bad she chose not to take hers.

[MurphyB]

This story broke my heart. Makes you realize just how short and fleeting life is and how important it is to appreciate what we have when we have it.

[atmorgan]

This is such a sad story. I applaud the writer for opening up and sharing it. I wish her well as she continues to try to heal.

[jhastings]

Very moving story - thank you for sharing.

[JenniferML]

This is a tragic story but one that has tested her strength and ultimately made her stronger. I doubt anyone will replace Tony but is she opens her heart again she can certainly find someone to love and bring her happiness in life.

[nicolelinblad]

This is sad but I agree with Katherine that you need to still live and love! It's so important.

[Sasha Pave]

Live every day like it's your last.

[KatherineC]

So painful. But I do believe we should still live and love.