11 Most Paranoid Obama Conspiracy Theories

In honor of Obama's November 4th anniversary, we've pulled together for you the most paranoid trips down the Obama conspiracy rabbit hole. Birthers, fake thesis, satanic messages, we've got it covered. Some of the theories here have faded since their conception, but some are still giving off that iridescent glow of insanity and total inaccuracy. Now vote to let us know which one you think is the craziest.

Obama Is Not An American Citizen

One of the most popular Obama conspiracy theories (aka the Birther Movement), endorsed (or not denied) by the likes of Tom Delay, Lou Dobbs, Chuck Norris and Liz Cheney, it claims that Obama is not an American citizen, thus rendering his presidency illegitimate, or something. The theory hinges on the false claim that his birth certificate is fake. Birther queen Orly Taitz (a lawyer and dentist from California) continues to lead the march, despite her lawsuit getting thrown out and a $20,000 fine.

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Comments

[fuelie]

This is just one example of why I continue to say that Homo Sapiens is an incredibly backward, savage, immature, and uncivilized form of sentient life, that we are not much better than Cro-Magnan man, and that it will take about 300 to 500 more years for Homo Sapiens to become a mature, civilized, peaceful society of sentient life forms inhabiting Spaceship Earth.

[Mulvaney]

My own theory was that the African Nation used Nigerans to skim the American economy until it was on the verge of collapse, using a foreign born Obama as a sleeper agent until the time was right, allowing him to impose a new world order with the African Nation in charge, a plan which was almost derailed until Obama himself snuck away while visiting his grandmother in Hawaii and did a daring commando raid upon state offices to make sure his birth certificate was in place while the nation's press was distracted by an Obama double who was showing off at the beach while other operatives used hidden mind control techniques to order John McCain to pick Palin as his VP candidate to ensure the election result and planes flew overhead releasing substances in the air that made the American people focus on change.

[OnePartyEqualsTyranny]

Republicans and their enablers can fall into two categories: fanatical or sociopathic,
and often, both at the same time.

[skinsqb17]

anything to keep from dealing with the reality of record numbers of votes cast by people of color. teabaggers are identified most easily by their inability to produce melanin.

[RG5626]

Obama is not a muslim..........as far as I know. (as Hiliary would say)

Even our SoS could not resist letting that lie contiue during the campaign.

[RevSpaminator]

You left out some other important Obama conspiracy theories...

Obama is a member of a Hawaiian Volcano Cult and wants to make offerings of our children!

Obama is not a human being at all, but in fact he is part of a Martian invasion that plans to capture our women and breed them with Martians to develop a race of Super Warriors.

Obama likes getting his feet washed..no wait, that was Jesus.

Michelle is actually the goddess Eris in human form. (Golden apple anyone?)

A little creativity (and a few stiff drinks) and you too can invent your own wild conspiracy theories. :)

[SATTA]

When I vote for a president ,I'd liked him/her to run the country well for the people; & don't care if he/she was born in Mars & worship no god. On the other hand, we had presidents past who are US born, christian, family valued,etc. but messed things up for us domestically & ruined foreign relations.

[missgeorge]

don't be so biased, if all of these claims were against a republican, then you would assume they are all true...where there is smoke there is fire

[cybexg]

Wait...these conspiracy theories come from the Right Wing......Does this say something about the Right WIng?

[booboo111]

How can you not love a woman named Oily!.....­..........­..........­........Oh­, it's Orly, o.k., never mind.

[falco]

Next thing you know they will be saying he's a clone, made with reptilian shape shifting genetics and that his entire administration is as well!

[RevSpaminator]

If they do, make sure you get credit for the idea. I'm still waiting for someone to pick up on my theory of Spam.

[MarkInTexas]

Since I'm reading this on the internet, it must be true.

[hardrain77]

My favorite paranoid theory is the one about how Obama was supposed to have been elected by the people to bring change to Washington, but it was all a pretty ploy to keep the Bankers and Goldman Sachs in control as the barons looted the remainder of this country while we are all distracted talking about how much Rush hates him or that he wasn't born here.

That's a crazy one.

[CalifroniaMark]

For arguements sake let's say she is right and she proves Pres. Obama was not born in america, Whats in it for her? A book deal? Notoriety? Big name talk shows? A brand new bank account?

Some people have way too much time on their hands...Lady get a life!

[wolfmason]

My favorite theory is that Taitz is an Obama admin. plant used to draw attention from The Real Threat of Obama's secret agenda. The conspiracy is a conspiracy to cover up yet another undefined conspiracy!!!! How can you not love that!

[beelzabubbleboy]

testing--1­,2,3......­.

[soundping]

Same problem here.