Sleep Training Your Baby: Does It Work?

divinecaroline.com:

Most parents expect to live in a daze when their baby is a newborn. But if the tumultuous routine of waking up every few hours persists after the first few months, it can start to feel unbearable.

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Comments

[Mama Lam]

Here's my advice for parents who are thinking about doing the Ferber method: give your child up for adoption to people who are willing to parent it. I co-sleep so this is a no-go for me but I know two parents who tried this and both their children are withdrawn. In fact, one child does not want to held! No where else in the world is an issue but here where children are a must have/don't want accessory. According studies done at Harvard, children who cry excessively (ten times or more) are more prone to ADHD.

[msoverall]

I would like to know just how you're supposed to sleep when a baby is wailing in the next room. You're up anyway, you might as well pick the baby up and have some quiet. I have three kids, the first didn't sleep for the first six months of his life, the second started sleeping through the night after one month and the third came home from the hospital sleeping through the night. Each child is different, you just roll with it.

[Caron ChapmanCase]

I would have gladly paid the $500 for sleep when my daughter was an infant. Crib next to the bed, swaddling, soft music, calming tapes, I tried it all. You never really sleep after you have children. My daughter never slept for 8 hours straight till she was almost two! One poster says have friends and family help out...what if you don't have that? Visitors want to rock your baby to sleep at 3 in the afternoon when they stop for a visit (and thanks for that, now the baby won't go down at 8) , not be at your house at 2 am. Cry it out? That's a joke. Nobody gets any sleep with that going on. My daughter is nine. The last time I got a good nights sleep was December 23,1999. I remember the exact date because I was on vacation in California and neither the coyotes howling under my window or the 4 am earthquake woke me up.

[Shotgun Mary]

Am I the only one that thinks its insane to encourage people to ignore their babies? How on earth can that be good advice? You know, that helpless creature who was designed by evolution to incite its parents to care for it by crying, no need to give in, its just trying to manipulate you into providing its basic needs of food and security. Sounds like neglect to me. If you're not willing to sacrifice for your kids why have them?

[LittleMittens]

point taken. I think there is a huge difference between nurturing vs ignoring, and most of our societal behaviors can be tracked back to the 'ignoring' phase...

[llmitchellb]

Every few years this comes up. Pendulum swing from full on attachment parenting to full on non-attachment parenting. Sometimes they collide with the two ends of the spectrum's believers HATING each other!
Just keep in mind - there was practically a cult of Fundamentalists who followed the Babywise guy over the edge. He got excommunicated from his own church as he led his fanatics to be more obnoxious than normal. Watch out!

[proudnavywife]

This is the most obnoxious article I have read in a long time! I rocked all my babies to sleep, it never gets any easier than that. They sleep WONDERFULLY now. A few bad nights at 4 mo ends all sleep battles is a lie. It is parents that are so jacked up they pay $500 an hour to learn how to make their 4 month go to sleep on their own that really make kids anxious about sleeping. You can guide your child to a good nights sleep at 4 years or 4 months but doing it early is not the easier thing to do. What will make you/ your child miserable is agonizing over it for 4 years. It never gets any easier than when a baby gets rocked or nursed to sleep. It does not make them worse sleepers. I feel bad for all those parents who torture themselves sleep training an infant only to fight with those same kids about bed time until they leave the house. They missed out on all the sweet time in the rocking chair or laying with their toddlers talking about the day before they doze off. My kids at 10 and 7 go straight to sleep at 8pm every night and sleep peacefully through the night. We never made sleep a battle. A 4 month old isn't ready to go to sleep on their own and many don't sleep through the night. Why make it a battle so early?!

[kapalabhati]

We read "On Becoming Babywise," which makes similar suggestions. Once you get over what is somewhat dogmatic, these techniques can work. "Topping off the tank" around 11:00 helped, too. Kids slept right through it. Sleepers within 7 and 10 weeks. Amen.

[amyhasopinions]

I think that, until your baby reaches 4-5 months you do whatever you need to do to get them to go to sleep--if car rides put them out, then you get in the car and drive (even at 3 AM). You do what you need to do to keep your sanity; those first few weeks and months are intense and hard, especially when you're new at it.

We started sleep training our daughter (well, I say "we" meaning: "ME," usually the case involving the not-fun parts of parenting) around 9 months. I'm told you should start at 5-6 months, but she just seemed so little still.

I tried the Ferber method (which isn't actually "cry it out"...it'­s more like: wait 5 minutes, go in and soothe, then wait 8 minutes, go in and soothe, then wait 12 minutes, soothe, then wait 15 minutes each time after that until they finally sleep). Ferber didn't work for us--we got an obstinate child. I ended up doing the cry it out method...i­t did work for us.

But it's really important to remember that every baby is different and if you think your child needs you, at night then you do what you think is best for your child. You can't spoil a baby; it's not possible. They'll grow up much more confident and independent if you love on them now (plus, they usually don't let you once they're teenagers, so enjoy it now :-).

[Lark Winner]

"...Ferber insists that’s precisely what they need to do in order to break the cycle of giving and dependence that they’ve initiated with their child. "

This statement is insane. They initiated a cycle of giving and dependence the moment they became pregnant. Babies cry for a reason. When a baby is crying because they want to be held it is not a "want", it is a "need". How much sleep a parent gets is irrelevant, if you need more help, have family or friends help out so you can nap. But it is barbaric to expect a 4, 5, or 6 month old baby to rationalize why they are left alone to cry. They have the rest of their lives to be independent and self-soothing, and building a relationship of trust with your baby where they always know that you will come when they cry will only make them more relaxed and secure. When they are toddlers they are more willing to try new things when they have parents that they can trust will always be there to support them.

Parenting is all about sacrifice. No, you should not lose yourself when you become a parent, but doing right by your baby is not long term thing, they are only babies for such a short time.

And I'm right in the middle of it, I have an almost 4 month old.

[SatsukiMiller]

It seems like a very good idea, and might help maintain good sleep habits throughout the babies life. I have a friend who has a sleep disorder and she had to learn how to put herself to sleep at the same time every night and keep a certain routine around bedtime. Once she sis that her sleep, and life, improved enormously.

[roxrousseau]

I've heard about so many people who have tried sleep training and loved it. I would definitely kick down $500 for a sleep consultant if my child wouldn't sleep - it's a small price to pay for peace of mind.

[RToomster]

I don't have kids, but this seems to make perfect sense. Though I can only imagine how hard it would be to let your baby cry, I imagine after a few weeks of no sleep I could probably do it!

[bijoux419]

What a fantastic idea! Although I don't have kids, I've been worried about the lack of sleep infants inevitably cause their parents ... but the reasoning behind this theory makes total sense. All kids need weaning from their parents, so best to start it early!

[Sasha Pave]

Not only did it work for my twins, it literally saved my sanity.

[MurphyB]

The "cry it out" method sounds like one of the hardest things new parents must face, but also one of the most important. Great info.