The Onion:
ESCONDIDO, CA -- Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.
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Hilarious article. This character could be a poster boy on Fox "News."
This funny-- and sadly, oh so true in many respects.
This is not comedy. Usually the Onion goes so far off the road that it is funny to think anyone would actually go that far off the road for real.
This bit of satire is not far off the road. This could be the background and thinking of almost any uninformed teabagger.
This so closely resembles the right wing that there is not much humor in it. The truth is funny, unless you have been bombarded with it for over 6 months. Teabaggers were funny back then, now they are just creapy.
Actually The Onion satire is often so good and so accurate it is scary. Literraly their Bush stuff when he was elected showed exactly what he would do from 2001 and up.
How in the heck did the satire slip past so many posters?
Joke - humour - hilarity - funny bone -
please get one or more of the above!
I don't know! I knew it was an Onion piece by the headline alone. Onion headlines always start with "Area man" or "Area woman!"
Maybe they missed it because it is too close to reality.
So real, it fooled most of the HP posters..!
omg, i totally thought this was real.
A little too "realistic" for the Onion!
Normally, the Onion leaves me cold, but this time they hit the bullseye. The problem with it - as comedy - is that its TOO close the truth of the matter. They could've inserted the name of a rural nephew of mine and it would've been a factual piece of reporting.
Leave it to "The Onion" to hit the nail squarely on the head!
The problem is "Area Man" is everywhere. Most recently, at an anti-health care reform rally in Washington, an elected representative waved what he said was a copy of the Constitution around and recited part of the Declaration of Independence.
They are two separate documents, Area Man.
At least his daughter,Samantha
sounds rational.
Next repug VP candidate ,only smarter than the last.
We are a Christian nation because our founding fathers were all Christian and they knew we were so they didn't need to say it no matter what some elitist "historian" says in some "book" cause the liberal media wants make America Socialist well there's only one book you need to read and that's the Bible which is what Thomas Jefferson read when he wrote the Constitution of our great country and that proves we are a Christian Nation.
I'm going to assume this is a satirical comment.
Yes. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He's mocking the people who think this way.
TJ not christian a quasi diest
This guy knows the Constitution from memory folks...
"Us people, God fearing Americans and not you librul people, formed a perfect union of just Jaysus, lots of guns an' bombs and no g@y marriage, freedumb an' all, plus the right to the pursuit of happiness, which fer some of us is tuckin' into a huge pile of ketchup sammiches with an ice cold tallboy 12-pack!"
I find it very sad that in today's society, listening to a non expert that you agree with is seen as a more credible source than doing your own research, even in simple matters.
It is not hard for anyone to find a copy of the constitution, it should be readily available online. And if you are an extremist, making the trip to D.C. should be worth it (I believe the original document is on display).
I think a lot of the problems currently facing the US is due to this more or less simple issue. Peopl need to stop blindly following self acclaimed experts (some of them are not even claiming any expertise at all) and do some research themselves.
Many a truth is said in jest.
CNN reporter to big teabagger oaf carrying President Obama sign with Ayd dolf's mustache during campaign: "Why do you think President Obama is like Ht Ier?"
"Because he is."
Wow, an existentialist! Who'da thunk it?
While I want to point out to readers here that this is from a satirical newspaper (The Onion).. this isn't really fiction!
That's what I'm wondering. Is this story real? I realize that there are people like this, but is this an actual feature on a real person?
From most of what I've read here and on other sites over the past few years I have to agree. Area Man is more prevalent than you really want to know but I was surprised and hopeful that fictitious daughter Samantha makes note that the constitution does guarantee universal healthcare. That is one of my bigger pet peeves - it makes clear note that the welfare of all is important - I can only assume that since the word used is "welfare" most people believe it to be a socialist typo plot from 220 years ago because no real citizen should give a flying fig about their neighbours.
Ah satire ... so damningly true!
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First Posted: 11-16-09 10:37 AM | Updated: 11-16-09 10:41 AM