Talking To Your Kids About Heaven

Alpha Mummy :

If you believe in an afterlife - where all your goodness will finally be noted, and taken into account, and justice will reign - it's like playing a computer game in "infinite lives" cheat-mode.

Read the whole story: Alpha Mummy

Comments

[redplanet]

I'm thinking of writing a book, Goodbye God. It's for the three poor little ones my brainwashed oldest took to the Catholics. I raised him an atheist. He had reform Jews as grandparents on one side and less than reform on the other. Ah, but she was pretty and when sex enters the equation, I guess in this case Jesus tagged along. From what I can see though once her parents die off, the kids, if they haven't lost too many brain cells, are not going to be part of the church.

Christopher HItchens, do you do onsite consultations?

[CrisOmg]

This is a topic I think about a lot. My wife is a Christian and I am an atheist. We have 2 young kids, both under 4.

I was raised "in the Church" and allow my kids to go to Sunday school. On my good days, I don't care what they believe - it's actions that matter, not beliefs. On my bad days it's hard as h3ll to bite my tongue when my 3 1/2 year old daughter sings, "Allelujah, Jesus is Lord..."

But I don't see any problem in making a kid feel better about death - especially at bedtime. I usually respond - similar to Alpha Mummy - that Mommy believes in a heaven... So far, she hasn't asked me what I believe. When she does, I'll tell her outright - as honestly (and gently) as I can.

Despite some of the quasi-venomous posts I read here, I'm not so sure a belief in heaven is such a bad thing. I can still teach my kids to savor every moment they have and love to their fullest abilities AND that a heaven awaits them when it's all said and done.

To be honest, I wish I could believe it, too. The absolute hardest thing for me to think about is that when I die, I no longer get to see them.

[GlassMask]

If it sounds ridiculous when you try to honestly explain it, that's a pretty good indicator it's all made up. Lying to your children doesn't comfort them. Teaching them irrational afterlife beliefs isn't kind and loving. Teach them the fact-based truth, and they'll learn to think and reason for life. Teach them that no invisible man is watching them constantly, and no one else died for them 2,000 years ago, and they'll accept responsibility for their own lives and actions.

Good parenting isn't so hard if you're honest...

[GodYesOrNo]

Wouldn't it be great if you went to heaven for being/doing good & hell for being/doing evil?
Wouldn't it even be better if both heaven & hell were right here & you were punished or rewarded for your actions, right here, right now?
Is there heaven or hell?
GodYesOrNo.com

[entropyisfun]

or you could just tell them the truth, that it's not real.

[CollinJE]

Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves -- or whether it should be ours here and now on this earth.

--Rand

[MikeDu]

It might worry them somewhat to discover that if they die a virgin they're likely to spend eternity 'servicing' those jihadist matryrs.

[famouslyanonymous]

If heaven is bliss then it is nothingness. Anything more would lead to stress which would detract from said bliss. Case in point, anything said or done by S. Palin.

[khanti]

Pt.1
C'mon how many kids of talking age will ask this question unless of course, you bring them along a funeral and the pastor start preaching about heaven and where the deceased went. In such case if the kid pop's up the question you reserve the right not to answer, instead bring the kid to the pastor the next day and let him fib about it.
Being a kid is the only period in our life where ignorance is bliss and any wrong doing brings out the innocence of being a child. Kids are not bothered about facts of life at this age. I mean, any question they ask, they are equally satisfied with any answers given without requesting for details. Common question like where do babies come from? They are satisfied with answer like 'from mommy's stomach' without asking for details from which orifice.

[Lordsuhn]

You don't know my children. They want details and are not satisfied until you give them. Even when I have reached the limits of my knowledge they are not satisfied.
I do not intend to let my children get comfortable in ignorance. I want them to continue to question everything. I prefer the bliss of knowing and understanding to the false bliss of ignorance any day!

[khanti]

You have very inteliigent children. At a certain pre teen age they are bound to be curious.

[khanti]

Pt.2
That remind me of the British comedy 'Mind our Language' it is about an English language class for immigrens conducted by Mr. Brown the school teacher.
Here's one of the episode;
Mr. Brown ask his students to talk about evolution so it was to Mr. Singh's turn.
"Tell me about evolution."
"What is evolution Mr. Brown?"
" You know how we come to be."
"When my father married my mother I was born."
"No, no before that."
" You mean when the lights were out!"
Hey Christmas is around the corner just enjoy the wonderful spirit forget about what's real and what's not.
Too much reality spoils the fun especially for the children Let them enjoy Christmas like you did when you were a child.

[khanti]

A tall tale
Children is easy to fib so it is alright if you pull a fast one on them since you yourself don't know the answer. Maybe when they grow up they will create their own heaven in their mind(hopefully not after smoking pot).
Why point to the sky when describing heaven why not point at your head or heart? Looking up too often will strain their neck and the sun is not good for the retina.

[VivaZapata]

no santa? no god? no, nothing? all this negativism is going to hurt business, y'know.

[khanti]

We can keep the santa stuff especially during this down turn.

[nolabels]

Terrific post.

[moreDumber]

That's a good article. I'm an atheist, but I taught my kids about God and afterlife (when they asked) because it seemed cruel not to when they were so little and cute. But guess what? They all developed atheism on their own. You don't have to teach common sense.

[MoreDimensions]

A child is unlikely to develop atheism on their own when their patents are atheists. Children learn from their parents actions much more so than any words you may have said to them at an early age.

[NoSillyName]

I doubt that. Why would it work in the other direction if what you say is true?

[CrisOmg]

I wonder, did you mean, "A child is likely to develop atheism..."

If you meant what you wrote, I'm very interested in more details of your opinion.

[empiricalWeb]

That's odd, I'd think a child is more likely to find logic in the lack of a heaven.....

[NoSillyName]

Oh yes, tell them more fairy tales so, when they start thinking for themselves, they'll know to never trust anyone.

Kinda like when they reason out that the actions of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are completely impossible.

[TLCTugger]

When my kids were little we talked euphomistically of "Grandma who's in heaven" to distinguish her from Grandma who lives next door.

Heaven - we explained when asked - is the warm place in our hearts where we keep the memories of people and things we have lost.

But pop culture friendly-ghost depictions got the better of us anyway. One Mothers' Day we went to meet my wife's dad at the cemetery to reflect at "Grandma who's in heaven's" grave. My sweet little daughter was SO excited to finally meet her. She ran around peeking behind all the headstones.