The Side-Hug: Youth Group Puts Down Sinful "Front-Hugs" With Rap (VIDEO)

Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action.

To help the side-hug fad sweep the nation, let us present this hardcore rap song. Yup, side-hugging has hit the streets. The group has as many emcees as the Wu-Tang Clan and as much power as a barbershop quartet.

Look out for the ominous sirens blasting on the track. Clearly, these are gangsters on the run from the law - probably from side-hugging up a storm! One emcee (wearing his bandanna 2pac-style no less) admits to taking part in the forbidden front-hug. But don't worry, God. He's married.

At the end, they all simulate getting shot and dying. We can only hope there are side-hugs in heaven.

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Comments

[Goodevil1345]

06:18 PM on 03/12/2010

This is the reason why I hate Christian (enter genre here) music.

[SeconLine]

02:04 PM on 12/04/2009

Is this an Andy Samberg SNL thing without the clever lyrics?

[TwinkleShine]

02:08 AM on 12/02/2009

This is HILARIOUS! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! I think this video pokes fun at how people in general get too uptight about certain things (i.e. front hugging!)
The only thing I don't like is the fact that "rough rider" is in the same lyric as "Christ." That's just...not cool. And what's up with the sirens and gunshots?

[ctman47]

01:14 PM on 12/01/2009

Think they might be a tad sexually repressed?

[kiwispam84]

11:04 AM on 12/01/2009

Besides the idea that giving someone a hug with both arms is somehow sinful, the most disturbing thing about this song is the line about how if you try to front hug these guys, "You'll be going home in a coma." Ummm... not exactly a Christian way to act, as I understand it...

[souroil]

10:59 PM on 11/30/2009

What about people who may be deformed and have their breast and genitals on thier sides. Is a front hug ok then?

[Vetinari]

11:43 AM on 12/01/2009

Those people you described are obviously not made in the image of GOD and should therefore be burned as the dem0n-infe­sted heII-sp@wn that they are!

[souroil]

10:57 PM on 11/30/2009

These people who claim they are against front hugging are probably the same kind of poeple who actually are too slow and senseless to use a condom in the heat of the moment. I guess if Jesus was walking amounst them now, these side huggers would be telling Jesus that it's not ok to wash their feet because that would be too intimate. Mary Magdalene poured oil over Jesus's head according to the Bible. That sounds a hell of a lot more sensual than a front hug.

[ncynthis]

09:47 PM on 11/30/2009

SIGH.

[pixelslinger]

07:49 PM on 11/30/2009

And ummm.... why is he grabbing himself?

[pixelslinger]

07:48 PM on 11/30/2009

So hugging is bad but violence (gunshots, random lyrics) is good? Jesus wouldn't do this.

[soccergirl88]

05:44 PM on 11/30/2009

http://www­.chicagotr­ibune.com/­news/chi-t­alk-christ­ian-side-h­ugnov30,0,­6899998.co­lumn

[garcia83]

04:05 PM on 11/30/2009

THIS is the type of rap music that provokes violence.

[lagibby]

01:33 PM on 11/30/2009

OF COURSE it's satire. It's a terrific send-off, not only of uptight folks and their side hugs, but also of "outlaw" rappers. And if it is a Christian youth group, they're showing you can believe in Jesus and still have a sense of humor. They're having fun and it's well done. Chill, people.

[ChicagoDMT]

09:49 AM on 11/30/2009

Why don't Fundamenta­lists just cut to the chase and place women in burqas and mandate that they don't leave the house unless accompanie­d by a male relative.

It's not a coincidenc­e that red states have the highest teenage birth rates, the youngest marriage rates and the worse divorce rates. Suppressio­n leads to obsession.

[OCtoTN2006]

12:29 PM on 11/30/2009

"It's not a coincidenc­e that red states have the highest teenage birth rates, the youngest marriage rates and the worse divorce rates. Suppressio­n leads to obsession.­"

That is very interestin­g. Where did you find that data?

[lizt]

05:54 PM on 12/01/2009

Actually there was an article online a few months ago about the teen birth rates. I don't remember the link but do remember reading it. As for the marriage and divorce rates, I have never read anything about that. I do remember an article where the highest usage of porn was in the red states.

[NevadaLib]

01:04 PM on 11/30/2009

To be fair, burqas, veils, etc are not necessaril­y a submissive or entrapping practice. Many women either feel liberated from the separation it gives them from the advances of men, or they feel it promotes religious piety. Sure parts of the world do force it, whether physically or psychologi­cally, but it is not a wholly anti-femin­ist movement.

[NevadaLib]

01:06 PM on 11/30/2009

On the other hand, christian gangsta ruff riders make me doubt the credibilit­y of any religion.

[FreelanceMinion]

01:05 PM on 02/24/2010

Its an entrapping practice. Women may claim that they agree to it but it was entirely invented by men claiming women as property and putting the burden of the men's temptation squarely on the women. Yes, throughout history oppressed and enslaved population­s have had members who claimed their oppression was really liberation­, but those whole body wraps are always a bad thing. I don' t think you can prohibit them, but there is no real defence.

[StillMadMatt]

12:08 PM on 11/29/2009

Thats the worst rap song I ever heard.Nevr­mind the music. OMsideHugG­!! Drivel pure drivel. I am astounded anyone even watches this poor excuse for music!!