I have to tell you, when I heard that former Bush flack Ari Fleischer had been engaged as the new face of shillery for the college football Bowl Championship Series, I thought: "Well, truly, this is some FRABJOUS news!"
The combination is perfect: you take the chocolate of avarice, ram it into some peanut butter of mendacity and create a goopy, bilious confection of pure meretriciousness. And the thought of Fleischer spending his post-White House days in purgatorial trompings on behalf of the deeply reviled BCS (85% against, in a recent Gallup poll) was a happy reminder of the awesome cruelty of karmic alignment.
And let's hope that Deadspin's Tommy Craggs continues to highlight every pained statement Fleischer makes on behalf of the Florida Recount of competitive sport, as he did yesterday:
"It's like saying we should get rid of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and hold smaller parades all across America."
That's Fleischer, apparently attempting to mount the case that the despised, 21-year-old BCS system of star-chamber polls and computerized prestidigitation is, in fact, a longstanding and much-beloved American tradition that delights children and instills a holiday spirit in all who watch. Of course, what's weird about this comparison is that not only has the BCS not stemmed the tide of smaller college bowl games across America, the Macy's Parade also co-exists alongside other parades. For example, there's America's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Detroit, and the IKEA Thanksgiving Day Parade (nee Gimbels Thanksgiving Day Parade) in Philadelphia. Both of those lesser known parades, by the way, enjoy much grander traditions than the BCS.
Still, I can see where this comparison is quite apt. Both the Macy's Parade and the BCS have the propensity to exclude accomplished teams in favor of their favored pets. This year, the BCS will likely prevent three undefeated teams -- Boise State, Cincinnati, and, perhaps most egregiously, Texas Christian University -- from laying a claim to the national championship. Similarly, NBC, the exclusive broadcast partners of the parade, put the kibosh on a planned appearance from the cast of Fox's hit television show "Glee". So, it's fair to connect the two in their common fear of successful upstarts.
Obviously, the Macy's Parade is an apt comparison for Fleischer as well. Just like the parade's army of lip-syncers, every time Fleischer opens his mouth, you instinctively look for wires.
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