The Tiger Woods Mistress Generator

Tiger Woods loves the ladies. And not only that, he love the exotic ladies, with exotic professions (like a porn star or a pancake waitress). But most importantly, he loves exotic names. His seemingly endless checklist of mistresses has included gems such as:

• Loredana Jolie
• Joslyn James
• Cori Rist
• Kalika Moquin

You're probably thinking, "I want to be on Tiger's list. If only my name wasn't Jane Franks." Well Jane, or whatever other non-exotic name you have, today is your day. With the Tiger Woods Mistress Generator, you can turn your name into one that Tiger can't resist. UnlikelyWords.com will do all the work for you. Just enter your normal name (let's stick with Jane Franks) and hit "Fore." And voila, from now on you are Bettee Little from Flagstaff, AZ--a 44 year old bartender who has texts from Tiger. How exotic.

Comments

[okila]

11:06 PM on 12/20/2009

Congrats, your Tiger Woods mistress is Bettee Little from Hollywood, CA. She is a 22 year old receptionist. You know she's telling the truth because she wants to be on a reality show.

[MikeDu]

01:33 AM on 12/19/2009

The creepy part is that they all pretty much look like his wife. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of sleeping with other women?

[Name Not In Use]

10:36 AM on 12/19/2009

"All women are the same in the dark."

Confucius

[auteur]

02:02 PM on 12/20/2009

They're all white, you're right so they must look the same. Your observational brilliance isstunning.

[MrBurlesk]

07:39 AM on 12/18/2009

You can bet a sit com is in the works too...

[auteur]

01:58 AM on 12/18/2009

This garbage isn't remotely funny to anyone with the slightest appreciation for a modicum of privacy and a general respect for apprecating the dignity of a complete life not a snapshot. This man has spent more time helping others then 98% of those perfect people wno apparently exist and pass judgement behind there perfect glass houses. At this point in my life I no longer recognize the America of my youth and I'm only 36. The pure self loathing and insipidness nature and lack of progress of human compassion and the growth of apathy is tragic.. As an Agnostic this could be as good as it gets for me and I'm not to excited about it. This society is FUBAR.

[okila]

11:11 PM on 12/20/2009

And the smallest violin plays on.

[FHTB]

01:54 AM on 12/18/2009

Does it generate on the word "hole"?
Must go ballistic with "18", too!

[Bitsko]

05:53 PM on 12/17/2009

I could use one of these myself.

[RiyazGuerra]

12:42 PM on 12/17/2009

Yeah sure,...right....

Tiger's mistresses are about as exotic (relative to each other) as Coca-cola, Pepsi, and RC Cola.

In name only...

[DawnK]

05:02 PM on 12/17/2009

I was gonna say a truck stop.

[ladyv]

06:47 AM on 12/18/2009

Ooh, I wanna play.

Perkins waitress is Chek cola.

[RiyazGuerra]

03:23 PM on 12/18/2009

Haha!

That one brunette he had is Dr. Pepper,..because she's not quite a 'cola'.

[tuberider]

12:12 PM on 12/17/2009

I should be on the list as an ex lover but all I got was a Gatorade T-Shirt and 80 bucks in Bellagio chips. Why? My name is Bob. Brokenhearted in Elko.

[Gelfling]

09:18 PM on 12/17/2009

LOL (I actually lived in Elko for two years -- longest two years of my life...)

[Tags]

03:10 AM on 12/17/2009

I entered "George W. Bush" and got back "Chrystal Smith from Brisbane, Australia. She is a 19 year old orthopedist. You know she's telling the truth because she has videos to prove it."

[lemondade]

01:35 AM on 12/17/2009

"SNORE"

[vazzy13]

01:05 PM on 12/16/2009

It doesn't work.... I typed in my name and clicked "Fore" but nothing happened! waaaahhh

[ashisu]

08:13 AM on 12/17/2009

Same here. And I've tried it on two different computers.

[drjasonmd]

02:07 PM on 12/17/2009

Do you have Javascript enabled?

[FlyboyDave]

12:35 PM on 12/16/2009

Well that's too bad. The name generator looked fun, but it's just a random selection from a list. I was hoping it would be more like the Snoop Dogg translator: http://www.writtenhumor.com/snooptranslator.html

It's not. You can enter a single character and it will generate a new name every time you click "Fore!"

[whoknew---]

09:33 PM on 12/16/2009

That's funny. Thanks for the link--- ;)