John Boehner Is Now Upset That The Health Care Bill Isn't Long Enough

Way back in October of 2009, John Boehner was often seen trooping from photo op to photo op with the House health care reform bill, complaining that it was way too long to read:

He so loved toting that thing around! In actuality, if you were to eliminate the non-substantive parts of that bill and allow for Congress's unique typesetting style, the bill was no longer than J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", a book that small children typically prove able to read over a weekend.

Now, the White House has offered up their own health care proposal which, in the form in which it was distributed, is only 11 pages -- which is less than the average Highlights magazine, which small children typically prove able to read whilst waiting for their appointments with the dental hygienist. Naturally, now the bill is so short that he cannot wield it as a prop, to bang on at lecterns, endlessly. Per Rachel Slajda:

A spokesman for House Minority Leader John Boehner today ridiculed President Obama's health care proposal because it's too short.

"The White House's 'plan' consists of an 11-page outline, which has not been scored by the Congressional Budget Office or posted online as legislative text. So they want to reorganize one-sixth of the United States' economy with a document shorter than a comic book, and they're complaining that they can't find our plan on their own website? C'mon," said the spokesman, Michael Steel, in an email to reporters.

Why won't Barack Obama think about what sort of healthcare reform would be "just right," for Goldilocks?

At any rate, if you recall, Boehner was among those who wanted to go into the health care reform summit with a "blank sheet of paper." In that scenario, Boehner would probably look at the blank sheet of paper and complain about how it was satin-gloss instead of semi-gloss, the most freedomy of copy paper finishes.

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Comments

[BleacherBoy]

04:12 PM on 02/25/2010

An orange man plays Goldilocks - "too long", "too short"; his positions are as fake as his skin tone.
The hair looks good on him, though, at Daily News Haiku:

http://dailynewshaiku.com/Pages/2010.02/2010.02.23--Goldiblocks.html

[henrypapillon]

01:49 PM on 02/24/2010

What's Old Redeye crying about now?

[justoverit333]

01:37 PM on 02/24/2010

Boehner and Cantor's plan for health care is one word - NO

[Dorothy Dinnigan]

01:23 PM on 02/24/2010

Have some compassion for him! This is clearly a cry for help!

I believe what Boehner is trying to say is...

WHAAAAAAAAAAA! We Republicans aren't in power! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You can't make us! WHAAAAAAAAAA! We still get paid every 2 weeks! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! We don't give a rats a$$ what this does to the Citizens of the United States! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Instead of thinking about your own selfish needs, why don't you think about how exhausting this is for him for a change! Just think about how many more months he's got to keep this up!

Frankly, I'm rather disappointed with the lot of you.

[justoverit333]

01:33 PM on 02/24/2010

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA too funny Dorothy.
I fanned you. wwwhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa poor Boehner.
he's so confused.

[Sam 32]

11:55 AM on 02/24/2010

All Boehner is saying is that Obama still hasn't come up with any specifics! All he did was put out a campaign memo with an outline. The CBO CANT score this because it is nothing but an outline.
Keep it up Barry! Your poll numbers are tanking.

[McFlipFlop]

12:55 PM on 02/24/2010

The Repug plan is one page, only covers 3 million more people, and has no specifics.

Obama's outline reconciles the House and Senate bills, as it was meant to do. It's an outline for the summit meeting. Ever created or used an outline Sam?

And you're making excuses for Boehner: your comment is not accurate -- that is not what Boehner said.

Why does anyone continue to elect the ignorant, laughable Boehner?

[ZappaFreak]

01:19 PM on 02/24/2010

All Bo-ner is saying is "NO". If you think the GOP has any interest in anything other than keeping the status quo on behalf of their corporate sponsors...I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

Let me know if you are interested, I'll send a link to the image of the bridge for sale!!!

[justoverit333]

01:36 PM on 02/24/2010

Yup. The Party of No; The Party of Dithering, The Party Whiners,
The Party of Cry Babies, The Party of Obstructionists, The Party
of Flip Floppers, The Party of Fake Family Values, The Party of
Fake Christians, The Party of Teabaggers, The Party of Confusion,
The Party of Partisanship, The Party of Bitterness, The Party of
No Middle Class, The Party of Big Oil, The Party of Big Corporations,
The Party of Big Wall Street.

[den1953]

11:35 AM on 02/24/2010

Republicans need to stop acting like a bunch of spoiled brats stop whining and get to work of course when your lazy and don't give a damn about the American people you can act like that.

[Warren Peace]

11:32 AM on 02/24/2010

Eric Cantors plan for healrhcare reform = 1 page

[patsydecline]

11:15 AM on 02/24/2010

bet he wouldn't think twice about 'socializing' tanning...
can't imagine his bills...

[clearlythinking]

10:24 AM on 02/24/2010

Boehner complains for the sake of complaining. It's too long, it's too short, he has a plan, etc, etc. Get over yourself Boehner.

[IcedTee63]

09:43 AM on 02/24/2010

Has Goldilocks Boehner said anything about the one page Document Eric "Can I chew that polyp off since I'm here" Cantor plans to bring to the Thrusday Meeting?

[AtheistMaximus]

08:57 AM on 02/24/2010

Ya' just can't win with these guys. How far will this Republican dead lock continue until it's considered treason. To hold us all hostage like this for political gain amongst the ignorant and uninformed.

[Mahi Joe]

08:17 AM on 02/24/2010

Maybe someone should tell Boehner that instead of wasting time bloviating he should get to work and start working on those 290 Bills passed in the House which are sitting in the Senate waiting for some action.

[Mahi Joe]

08:21 AM on 02/24/2010

Sorry didn't finish. As House minority leader Boehner should direct his energy and complaints towards the members of the Senate rather than on issues of less importance.

[KrisLK]

07:32 AM on 02/24/2010

I have yet to hear a coherent, factual statement come out of Congressman Boehner's mouth. Last night Rachel Maddow ran past videos of Boehner's statements about the House & Senate HC bills being too long, and now being too short. Likewise, Boenher's demands for "open-transparent" proceedings with the President that included C-Span, in a large room with the cameras running, now complaining that he is concerned about what to expect, the size of the room, cameras...etc. If ever there was a clear demonstration of talking out of both sides of your mouth, Rachel vividly displayed it with videos of Boehner's own video-taped words. I would like to know how his district has benefited from the stimulus bill over the past year, and compare that with the rhetoric coming out of Boehner's mouth.

[konkyboy]

08:08 AM on 02/24/2010

Totally right Kris. Boehner's a proven walking talking defintion of a hypocrite. As are most of the Rethugs right now.
They look and sound like actual Dea+h Panels in the pictures/videos above. Thousands of Americans d|e because they can't afford effective health coverage and these elected representatives want to keep it that way - disgusting.

[bwick]

07:29 AM on 02/24/2010

Oh Mr. Boehner...Still king of the one liners... Still living high on the hog... So happy you were when the supreme court got rid of some of those nasty election rules...For you that ment more steak and golf. Your...its too long....no, its too short... Truly makes me wonder if you can read. Let me tell you this....if you are an elected official....I DONT CARE HOW LONG OR SHORT IT IS.....I excpect you to READ IT. Even if it means you missing dinner, golf or you daily tan session.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR OHIO....YOUR DISTRICT? From where Im sitting here in YOUR district I cant see anything you have done. .....I predict....YOU WILL BE VOTED OUT.

[KeeponTopic]

05:09 AM on 02/24/2010

Over here in Australia we have a term that is used to describe senators that act against the interests of their electorate against political principles. The term was coined by former Australian Prime Minister on the 5th May 1996 in a parliamentary exchange.

The term is "unrepresentative swill", and it sparked a fury of indignation at the time from the recipients.

Now given what I have learned the last few months about the unfortunate state of play with the unprincipled "players" in US politics as I follow the health care debate in your country, I suggest that term of .....

"unrepresentative corporate swill"

...should be applied to GOP and blue dog democrats that will not even consider health care reform for their electorates in the face of spirited attacks by your health insurance lobby.

I sincerely hope that your president is successful in his iniatitive in getting health care reform more fully discussed amongst both your political parties.

[Mum]

05:24 AM on 02/24/2010

Thank you. I love it. Unrepresentative corporate swill it shall be.

[ex republican]

09:54 AM on 02/24/2010

Except we're kind of lazy here, so we'll have to turn it into an acronym, UCS. UCS is pronounced "uks" with the consonant of your choice in front of it.