Sarah Palin Spoke At A Wine Wholesalers Expo, For Some Reason [UPDATE] [AUDIO]

[Updated, below.]

Hey, kids! Did anyone wake up today thinking to themselves, "Sometime-Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's appearance at that Michele Bachmann rally was sure swell, but for the sake of being complete, I'd sure like to know how her April 6th keynote speech at the Wine And Spirits Wholesalers of America's 67th Annual Convention and Exposition went?" Well you're in luck. It apparently did not go well, and did not make much sense.

And look! Some guy apparently liveblogged the whole thing, or something?

Here comes Palin!

Big hair, white jacket. And now a salute to the "beautiful people working so hard in Nevada."

Heck yeah, I want to speak at this convention! Three bad wine puns in a row: "Going rosé", "stand on a wine box (instead of a soap box)", "in good spirits".

Apparently Todd is in a snow race this weekend. Wow, this woman could have been president. Shudder.

[Editor: What is the crowd's reaction?]

TOTAL SILENCE

She just made up a Ronald Reagan quote. And now she's talking about the deficit, using "heck" a lot. If her commercial fishing business is in trouble, she'd fix it, not borrow money.

Ha, that "going rosé" pun isn't even hers, it's Slate's Mike Steinberger, from a January article in which he wondered: "Why is Sarah Palin keynoting the Wine & Spirits Wholesalers convention?"

Back to the "liveblog":

Back to the speech. She just pointed out that in spirits, quality grapes produce quality wines. Does she know wine is not spirits?

"Think of cultured yeast as a mentor." That was an attempt to link winemaking with the habits of successful people.

She keeps focusing on small business. An interesting choice, given the crowd. Oh, here comes energy policy. She wants nuclear power and offshore drilling, instead of giving money to "unstable regimes".

[Editor: I want nuclear yeast!]

Now, more than ever, I am thinking of cultured yeast as a mentor.

By the way, the Wine And Spirits Wholesalers presumably paid between $75,000 to $100,000 for that so, hooray! Recession is over!

UPDATE: Oh, frabjous day! A tipster from the WSWA conference sends along the complete audio of Sarah Palin's speech. If I'm being as charitable as possible, it's more Metodo Charmat-Martinotti than it is méthode champenoise. If I'm being honest, however...

LISTEN:

RELATED:
Palin Spews Tea at Liquor Conference [Rumproast]
Sarah Palin and America's Wine Wholesalers: A Bust? [Fermentation]
Cougar Beat: On the Prowl Live at WSWA [Spume]
Going Rosé [Slate]

PREVIOUSLY, on the HUFFINGTON POST:
Sarah Palin Bowling Expo Keynote Speaker

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Comments

[MikeElPaso]

02:58 PM on 05/25/2010

"and did not make much sense."

Sarah Palin? Not making sense? How out of character for her.

[Stephanie S]

08:59 AM on 05/14/2010

This sounds horrific yet hilarious. I think I'd even consider posing as a wine wholesaler just to have seen her #fail this badly!

[rickthaluddite]

12:15 AM on 05/02/2010

I'm at 24 minutes-- I'm not sure if I'm gonna last to the end. I only have 2 beers left. "Wine is a mocker and strong drink is raging."

[Ohio Republican]

09:20 PM on 05/01/2010

OMG did anyone tell her that that group only exists because of government interference with the free market? At 10 min in, I can see how you'd have to be drunk to listen to this rambling wHine. She keeps referring to them as "small business owners"???? Maybe she had her speaches confused...

[jmpfjoy]

07:01 PM on 04/30/2010

Maybe she thought it was a "whine" expo, not a "wine" event..... I'm just sayin...

[indy girl]

11:39 PM on 04/15/2010

Oh. My. God. The woman is a moron.

[Yurdelite51]

01:23 AM on 05/01/2010

As KO would say: THAT WOMAN IS AN IDI.OT!

[jimbeaux1961]

06:04 PM on 04/12/2010

The entire audience was hammered from drinking games. "OK Bob, every time she says 'heck' you take a shot, and every time she says 'common sense solutions', I take a shot. If she says 'golly' in the same sentence, it's a double".

[drJ n da house]

04:09 PM on 04/30/2010

fanned!!!

[hischagal]

10:41 AM on 04/12/2010

Why is Sarah Palin still here, there and everywhere? She's garbage, stupid, dumber than a bag of rocks, dishonest, disturbed, a narcissist, a sociopath, unqualified to clean toilets, has no expertise whatsoever, is a quitter, a liar, cannot formulate an intelligent coherent sentence, is a veritable loser, is uneducated in the most basic sense of the word, is weak, thin -skinned, an immature middle-aged woman, and the biggest piece dreck to ever to come out of this country.

AND THE DEMOCRATS JUST LOVE HER!

[24hourrifle]

10:56 AM on 04/12/2010

the DEMS absolutely LOVE the idea of her running for president,thats for damn sure......

of course cons. love to explain away all criticism of palin as "the left is thre atened by her because she's such a real american"....but the fact is,70pct of americans do not believe she's qualified to be president......she could not,ever,NEVER,EVER,win the presidency.......

and so,again,just because the left points out what everyone other than the loudest AM radio/fnc nonsense peddlers know to be the truth-sarah palin simply isnt qualified to hold ANY office,let alone president-it doesnt mean that we're "thr eat ened" by her.....we just find it sort of astounding that so many cons. are willing to support her publicly.....it kinda cute,and hysterical,really.

[renoir]

11:01 AM on 04/12/2010

I just heard this morning that a new poll shows that only 21% of ALL American women have a favorable view of Palin.

She's melting!

[cocodash]

03:47 PM on 04/30/2010

I don't. I'm a Dem and I don't love the idea AT ALL because there are WAY more than enough absolutely ignorant asshats in this country who WILL vote for her. If Dubya could go around twice, I think the Shrieking Popsicle is a veritable shoe-in.

[BebeLush]

10:14 AM on 04/12/2010

Gotta love that gushing introduction.

[NOV42008]

10:09 AM on 04/12/2010

DRINK BABY DRINK !!!!!!

[diamonds61]

07:49 AM on 04/12/2010

Sarah Palin quit her job as governor as Alaska so when introduced they need to drop the governor title. Sean Parnell is the GOVERNOR OF ALASKA.. Her speech at this wine and spirits convention was utterly ridiculous and as usual, She is a complete airhead who only really cares about getting paid ($75,000-$100,000) and fails to educate herself on any groups interests or concerns. The speech she gave could have been given by a 5th grader. Her use of the word "heck" shows her lack of education and limited vocabulary. Hopefully the crowd was full of "spirits" and really did not pay attention to the garbage coming from her mouth.

[hischagal]

10:49 AM on 04/12/2010

This is the only country in the world where the dumbest, most ridiculous segment of our society, the republicans, lunatic fringe, conservatives, and other right wingers are actually willing to pay this piece of garbage, Sarah Palin, to speak. The rest of the world are laughing at Sarah Palin and the republicans. This is the best that the GOP can come up with.

GOP......Gang Of Pathetics
GOP..... Group Of Psychotics
GOP......Gang Of Playground bullies

They haven't been the Grand Old Party for a long time now.

[henryle74]

07:15 AM on 04/12/2010

What on earth do tea baggers and wine promoters/sellers have in common? Both are liquids you drink and that's about it. Why on earth would an organization that promotes wine and spirits want her there? Yes, she's famous and controversial and such but I would think they would want some that has either acheived a lot in business world or knows a lot about wine and liquor. despite her making boatloads of cash with her ghostwritten books and poorly produced tv shows, she is by no means a shrewd businesswoman.

[Imzadi]

06:00 AM on 04/12/2010

It sure would be appreciated if a transcript could be provided - because there is NO WAY I can actually LISTEN to the human equivalent of fingernails on a chalk board...

[IrisMozenter]

09:19 AM on 04/12/2010

The reason no transcript is provided is that nobody else can stand to listen long enough to transcribe it.

[hischagal]

10:50 AM on 04/12/2010

I agree, but it's actually worse than fingernails on a chalkboard.

[TurkerB]

04:16 AM on 04/12/2010

Wow, didn't think someone would be willing to pay $75K-$100K for a cheap whine....

[BUSTERtheCAT]

03:58 AM on 04/12/2010

seriously who pays $500 to hear that bumbling, rambling, nonsense, and not think is was the world comedian championship.

WHO!!!!