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Poll: A Third Say Pets Listen Better Than Husbands

By SUE MANNING   04/28/10 01:34 PM ET   AP

Relationship Advice

LOS ANGELES -- Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion.

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Christina Holmdahl, 40, talks all the time to her cat, two dogs or three horses – about her husband, naturally.

"Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling," said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Fort Stewart in Georgia. "A lot of times, I'm just venting about work or complaining about the husband."

She thinks everyone should have a pet to talk to like her horse, Whistle, who's been with her since she was 19.

"We all say things we don't mean when we are upset about stuff," she said. "When we have time to talk it out and rationalize it, we can think about it better and we can calm down and see both sides better."

It would be a toss-up whether Bill Rothschild would take a problem to his wife of 19 years or the animal he considers a pet – a palm-sized crayfish named Cray Aiken. His daughter brought it home four years ago at the end of a second grade science project.

Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, "absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything." He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats.

"You definitely feel much more comfortable sharing your problems with them," he said. "A little lick from a big dog can go a long way."

Overall, about one in 10 pet owners said they would talk their troubles over with their pets.

The AP-Petside.com poll also found that most people believe their pets are stable and seldom struggle with depression. Just 5 percent of all pet owners said they had taken an animal to a veterinarian or pet psychologist because it seemed down in the dumps. Even fewer said they'd ever given antidepressants to a pet.

But they weren't opposed to the idea: 18 percent of those polled said they were at least somewhat likely to take a pet to a vet or pet psychologist if it was dejected.

When pets become the therapists, the dogs have it. Twenty-five percent of dog owners said their canines listened better than a spouse, while only 14 percent of cat owners chose the feline.

Ron Farber, 55, of Hoxie, Kan., said it's easier to talk to his dog Buddy than his wife because "the dog doesn't have an opinion."

"I think better out loud. He doesn't care what you say or do. He looks at you, pays attention, you walk through the problem in your mind and eventually, the answer comes. It's not as easy when other people are offering opinions," he said.

Farber would take Buddy to a vet if he needed help, but "I doubt there's a dog psychologist within 300 miles."

A pet psychologist is also called a veterinary behaviorist. Veterinarian Karen Sueda, whose office is at the VCA West Los Angeles Animal Hospital is one of 50 certified by the American Veterinary Medical Association.

Most of her canine patients have problems with aggression and anxiety, while her cats' biggest problem is failure to use a litter box, she said.

Karen Manderbachs, 38, has tried drugs for her dog Kensey, a Shiba Inu who is afraid of thunder. "She sits and full body-shakes. She tries to climb the walls, will hide behind the couch. She gets frantic."

But the first time, the pill didn't take effect in time. The next, "she was so out of it, I couldn't do it again."

Without thunder, Kensey is fine and listens with the other pets – three dogs and a cat – as Manderbachs talks.

The dogs seldom react, "but if I'm upset, if I cry, they will hover around and try, in their own way, to make it better," said the 38-year-old from Rocky Mount, N.C.

Sueda, the veterinary behaviorist, said she thinks everyone talks to their animals.

"Pets are great because they provide us with unconditional support. They never talk back, never give us the wrong opinion and they are always there for us," she said. "As much as we love our spouses or significant others, sometimes they are not there, sometimes they have their own thoughts about how we should deal with situations. And sometimes, especially when it's a husband or male significant other, they want to solve the problem rather than just listening to the problem."

The AP-Petside.com Poll was conducted April 7-12, 2010, and involved landline and cell phone interviews with 1,112 pet owners nationwide. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

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LOS ANGELES -- Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion. A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associat...
LOS ANGELES -- Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion. A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associat...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WeirdScience
Even our reality checks are bouncing!
05:15 PM on 05/04/2010
That's because pets think they'll get food if they wait long enough. We can get it ourselves.

Also, pets can't handle a remote.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BlackYowe
I am a classical- liberal woman and a Jeweler.
02:55 AM on 05/04/2010
Yeah but my husband does not pee on the floor or chew up my boot laces.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
01:54 AM on 05/04/2010
Most humans want to be involved in the conversation. So one way communication without active participation is very difficult to sit through.
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Bennie Richburg
LIVING LIFE RIGHT NOW!
01:24 PM on 05/03/2010
WE HEAR everything, we just choose not to obey!
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ChaCubed
Fabulously Liberal
02:09 PM on 05/03/2010
LOL

I'm still trying to figure out the source of the belief that you HAVE to obey!
11:43 AM on 05/03/2010
If your pet listens better than your husband....that probably says more about you than your husband.
12:53 AM on 05/03/2010
People say pets are better listeners only because pets lack the ability to say "You are boring me....leave me alone....I don't care that the check out lady had a tattoo.......enough already"
09:01 PM on 05/02/2010
I would suspect that the more someone rehashes the same territory, the harder it is for the spouse to listen. Remember, to your dog, everything you say is new and fascinating.
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ChaCubed
Fabulously Liberal
10:09 AM on 05/02/2010
If you want a male to listen to talk, get a dog. If you want a non-talkative female, get a blowup doll.

:)
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ChaCubed
Fabulously Liberal
10:21 AM on 05/02/2010
Sorry to add to the stereotyping, but I wouldn't resist! :)

My true sentiment is: Appreciate the men and/or women in your life. When something negative catches your attention, balance it with a reminder about what you like about him/her. That way, everytime you think of the person you love/like, you'll smile. :)
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Militant Leftist
American seditionist
01:31 PM on 05/01/2010
Does this mean pets are immune to incessant chatter?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
teresa1960
11:17 AM on 05/01/2010
Not only do they listen better, they don't argue with you !
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JonB2057
Think, it ain't illegal yet!
06:57 PM on 05/02/2010
@teresa1960

Since they do not respond to you, how would you know if they were arguing with you?
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JonB2057
Think, it ain't illegal yet!
07:12 PM on 05/02/2010
@peterg76

I have to agree with you here. When I read this "Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling," said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Fort Stewart in Georgia" , my first thought was there are mental health professionals at Ft. Stewart and in "Hooterville" (oops, I mean Hinesville, that's what we called it when I was stationed there) GA..
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
goddess1871
Sick to freakin' death
09:47 AM on 05/01/2010
"Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, "absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything." He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats." -I just thought this was HYSTERICAL. I can just see this guy talking to a crayfish with the thing just looking at him like "You talking to me?" lol

Also, if a man is talking in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong? (hehehe)
12:58 PM on 05/01/2010
When I asked my dobe that question, she said "yes".

;-)
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peterg76
Freelance medical transcriptionist
12:32 AM on 05/01/2010
Pets will pay attention to their owners, but if you genuinely think they are listening, you are in denial as to the real reason the husband has stopped listening.
stevesrant
Here I am stevesrant.
12:13 AM on 05/01/2010
But do they remember it the next day?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Steven Barnes
Author, life coach, martial artist
11:55 PM on 04/30/2010
If your pet is more intelligent, sensitive, and understanding than your spouse, you'd better think about something: you chose him/her. That was the best you could do? Whoa.

www.diamondhour.com
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Renee Libby
10:17 PM on 04/30/2010
A lot of them are less messy too. : )